The Time Has Come
by amberissmiling
Summary: Back in Beverly Hills to be with her family, Brenda once again pulls The Gang together.
1. Chapter 1

Looking up at the front of her new theater group, Brenda Walsh couldn't ease the butterflies in her stomach. She had finally done it; she had proven herself all across the globe as an actress. Her dreams had become a reality. Well…all but one.

Pushing aside such thoughts, she walked into the front doors of the building that now housed those hopes and dreams she'd worked so hard to achieve. Her theater group would be home to many other aspiring actors and actresses. It was her job to find talent and bring it here, to help those dreams become reality.

Surprised, Brenda wiped a tear off of her cheek. She hadn't realized she'd been crying. Overwhelmed with happiness mixed with a large dose of fear, Brenda felt- for the first time- that things might be okay. Sitting in the theater and looking at the stage, she smiled through the tears, deciding to let happiness have this day.

Hearing a crash at the front of the building, she jumped up and ran to the doors. "Brenda! Sorry about that! I dropped some rolls of fabric," Donna said, juggling several swatches of cloth of various colors. She finally just dropped them all and grabbed a startled Brenda in a hug. "It's so good to see you!" Donna cries, voice quivering. Brenda hugged Donna tighter, tears escaping out of the corners of her closed eyes. It was so good to see her old friend.

Pulling away, Donna took a deep breath. "Brenda, this is so amazing! I always knew you could do it. I always believed in you." She looked down, then back up. "I really needed to get back here, Bren. I'm so glad we can do it together." Brenda had offered Donna a job as her main costume designer. After their first separation Donna had gone back to Japan to be with David. She knew that Donna had been struggling back in Japan, being so far away from all of her family and friends. The stress had caused Donna and David to separate again; they were both back in Beverly Hills now and trying to work things out, though they weren't living together. Their sweet little daughter Ruby was staying with Donna's mother for the week. Having a granddaughter seemed to calm Felice in a way motherhood never had.

"Donna, are you sure you're okay with David working here too?" David had given up his dreams of being a star and now worked behind the scenes as a famous DJ and choreographer. He, too, seemed happy to be working with Brenda and her company.

Brenda opening the theater group was actually uniting most of the gang. Kelly was working as a liaison between the group and West Beverly High, sending in promising talent and helping the students arrange their school schedules as well as dealing with any emotional and mental stress that comes with being involved in drama. Yes, drama was dramatic. Imagine that.

Andrea's law firm handled all of Brenda's legal documentation and Andrea was there for her when she had any questions about what she was doing. Steve was working in Public Relations and was handling all of the companies PR. He was still the same irreverent kid he'd always been and that Brenda had (almost) always loved. His firm did good work and Brenda was extremely blessed to have such good friends that could and were willing to help her out.

She and Donna picked up the fabric and moved into Brenda's office. They worked on designs for hours, in between catching up. "Okay, I think we can officially call it a day," Brenda told Donna, pushing several pieces of cloth over so she could rest her head in her hands on her desk. "What are you doing tonight for dinner? Do you and David have plans?"

Donna sighed. "No, not tonight. He's working on a new sound, I told him I wouldn't bother him tonight. You know how he gets when he's working." She rolled her eyes. "What are your plans?"

"Dad's still recovering, but he and mom have invited us all to dinner. I think having dad in the house all the time is driving mom a little nuts," she said with a small laugh. "You want to come with?" The Walsh's had returned from Hong Kong and moved back into their old house.

"Sure," Donna said. "I'd love to see your parents. And little Addison and Kassie! It's been so long, I'm sure they've both grown so much." Donna hadn't seen Brenda's daughter since moving back to LA; Addison was tiny when Brenda had taken her to Japan to illicit Donna and David's help for her new group. "Dinner at the Walsh house," she mused. "It really is going to be like old times."


	2. Chapter 2

Brandon and his daughter walked toward the door at the Walsh house, him holding her hand. At eighteen months, little Kassie was still fairly unsteady on her feet. Her brown curls were in two pigtails on top of her head, the same way her mother had always fixed it.

Just thinking about Kate caused pain to tear through Brandon's chest. It had been over a year since his wife had been killed in a car wreck. Suddenly, Brandon's perfect life and perfect family was shattered. He still woke up in a cold sweat many nights. Nightmares interrupted his sleep and if it were not for his baby girl, he wasn't sure he'd have been able to go on.

Brenda had really been there for him. She'd come home for a few weeks after the accident, leaving London in the middle of an important production. Because she was so respected within the acting community, she had come home with well wishes instead of a lost job. After staying for a while and seeing how much Brandon and her parents needed her, she made the decision to move back to LA. Brandon prayed it worked out for her and Addison; she was always willing to sacrifice her life and happiness for others.

Kassie loved Brenda and Addy. She loved LA. She especially loved visiting the Walsh house and her grandparents. "Cake?" she looked up to Brandon, saying one of her favorite words in her sweet little girl voice. Brandon reached down to pick her up, laughing. "I'm sure there will be cake." Kassie giggled.

"I hear one of my favorite girls!" Cindy Walsh said, opening the door and reaching for Kassie. Addy was in her other arm, giggling too. Kassie reached for her Nana, squealing happily. Cindy leaned over to give Brandon a quick kiss, then carried the girls into the house. Brenda was waiting inside the door, smiling. "It's like we no longer exist," she said.

Brandon hugged Brenda, then caught a glimpse of Donna. While Brenda went to visit Kassie, Brandon and Donna embraced. "It's so good to see you, Donna," Brandon told her, hugging her tight. He had missed his friends. Moving back to LA to be closer to his parents after his wife's death was looking like a better choice all the time. Now with Brenda and her daughter back, as well as more of their friends, he knew he'd have people to lean on. That was a good feeling.

Cindy had taken the girls into the living room where Jim was resting on the couch. After having suffered a heart attack (which he jokingly said directly resulted from raising the twins), he was taking things easy. Playing with his granddaughters was his favorite pastime; they would play for hours on the living room floor while Cindy, Brenda and Brandon would work in the yard or around the house.

Dinner was a lively affair and clean up was easily handled by the three friends. After Brandon and a sleeping Kassie left, Donna and Brenda went up to Brenda's old room. Addy had fallen asleep on Jim's chest on the couch but Cindy had moved her to Brandon's old bed for the time being. Brenda's room was the same as she'd left it, pictures on the mirror and all. They went through some of Brenda's high school stuff, laughing at their clothes and hair.

Eventually they were both lying on the bed, sorting through pictures. Both were quiet as they remembered good times and bad. Donna put the pile of pictures she was holding down. "Have you talked to him, Bren?" she asked.

Brenda didn't have to ask Donna who she was talking about. Dylan was always on her mind, even when she was in London. Back in LA, she thought she saw him everywhere. Passing places they'd been together, she felt like they were together only yesterday.

"I talked to him once when I got back to London from my last visit here. He called me once when I was with Kelly and it was just a mess. She was angry he called me, he was angry I wouldn't talk to him, I was just confused and hurting." She paused, looking at Donna. "I still love him so much, even though it's been so long. I never got over him, Don. I don't think I ever will."

"Brenda, I'm still in love with David. I know exactly how you feel. We've been together for so long, it's like he's a part of me. I don't know what I would do without him." She looked toward the window. "It took me too long to realize that and now I'm afraid I've lost him for good." Realizing that she was crying, she turned to Brenda only to find that Brenda was crying as well. "We're a pair, aren't we?" she said, laughing through the tears.


	3. Chapter 3

The sun rose over the mountains, lighting up the dark sky. A cool wind blew across the front porch, slowly rocking the swing. Across the way, cattle grazed peacefully. In the corral, four beautiful horses stood close to each other. Friendship, the man thought to himself. It was the only thing that was lacking in his life. He thought he'd been making the right decision by moving to Wyoming, but now he wondered. If he couldn't feel peaceful after waking up to a morning like this, he knew something was deeply wrong.

He looked down at the play he'd spent the past five months writing. He knew it was good; he also knew that the reason it was so good was because it was based on truth. Love lost is a powerful thing, he thought to himself. Love found would be even more so. He hoped she felt the same way.


	4. Chapter 4

Madness. This was just madness. Brenda closed her office door quietly, then leaned against it. Who _are _all these people? She thought to herself, I can't do this. It's too much. I'm going to fail.

All day long auditions had been going on for her first production. Kelly, Donna and David had been around, working with those auditioning and with the stage crew that had already been hired. The pace had been frantic. Brenda had a million messages to return and hadn't even had a chance to break to go to the bathroom. She needed to hear Addy's sweet voice. What had she been thinking?

A knock at the door had her quickly looking for a place to hide. She was seriously considering the space under her desk when the door knob turned and Valerie poked her head in. "Brenda?" she asked, stepping into the room.

Hiding forgotten, Brenda's face lit up with a smile. "Valerie!" she said, running to her old friend. Though they'd been separated for many years, Valerie and Brenda would always be friends. They understood each other so much better than anyone else had ever been able to. Valerie had spent quite a bit of time in London with Brenda the past few years, and they'd been able to help each other deal with the messes they'd made in their lives. Valerie had gone with Brenda when she picked up Addison and had been there with Brenda while adjusting to motherhood. The two hugged for a while before Brenda pulled back. "What in the world are you doing here?" she asked, still shocked to see her old friend.

"We were in town and decided to come check out your place. Brenda, this is amazing!" Valerie sat down in a chair in front of Brenda's desk. "I am so proud of you."

"Oh Val, I'm not sure if I can do it," Brenda told her friend, voicing her earlier concerns. "It's just so big, you know? There are so many people counting on me. What if it's a failure?"

Valerie shook her head. "You won't let it be, Bren. I know you."

Brenda's response was interrupted by another knock on the door. When Brenda opened it, she was caught up in a fierce hug and swung around. "Rick!" she said happily after being put down.

"This place is fantastic, Brenda," Rick told her, moving into her office. "I knew you could do it." Walking over to Valerie, he picked her up and kissed her. "I was looking for you," he told her.

Valerie laughed. "Well, you've found me," she said.

"Did you tell Brenda the good news?" Rick asked her.

"Nope, you can," Valerie told him.

"What is it?" Brenda asked, excited.

"I asked Valerie to marry me," Rick said, smiling widely.

"And I said yes!" Valerie told Brenda, laughing.

"That's great!" Brenda told them, meaning it. Rick had moved to London for work, where he had found Brenda. They hadn't pursued a relationship, but a strong friendship had developed. When Val came to stay with Brenda for a while, she had introduced the two. They had been inseparable since. Brenda was truly happy for them. She felt that if anyone deserved happiness it was Val.

"That's not all," Valerie told Brenda, positively glowing.

"Oh my gosh, you're pregnant!" Brenda cried.

"We are," Rick confirmed, looking down at Valerie.

At the looks of pure love, Brenda felt a twinge in her chest. It had been so long since she'd had that. "I am so happy for you guys," she told the couple. They discussed wedding plans and possible baby names for a while and then Valerie mentioned that they were going to be late for an appointment. When they were gone, Brenda sat at her desk staring out the window for a while. Smiling, and returned to her normal good humor, she decided to get back to work.


	5. Chapter 5

Kelly felt like she was always rushing somewhere. If Sammy and school weren't enough, she now spent a large chuck of time at the theater. If she were honest with herself, she would admit that she truly enjoyed being in the theater with her friends and students. She'd missed Brenda more than she thought she would. Having her around somehow made things feel okay. Frowning a bit, Kelly remember some of her last heated arguments with Brenda. Even though she loved Brenda like a sister, she couldn't seem to stop herself from hurting her.

Sammy ran around the corner of the hallway, little Ruby fast on his heels. "Hey, now," Kelly said, smiling, scooping the two children up. They wiggled around, shrieking with laughter. "Is Brenda running a day care here, hmmmm?" she asked the children. Truthfully, Kelly appreciated Brenda allowing the children to come to the theater with them from time to time. Kelly had fallen in love with all of her friends children and was always taken aback by the fact that there was a new generation.

Maddie rushed around the corner, stopping short when seeing Kelly. "You found them!" she said, the panicked look leaving her face. "I don't know how they got so far."

Setting the squirming kids down, Kelly gave Maddie a hug. "Trust me, Maddie, it can happen in the blink of an eye." Kelly remembered the terror she felt when David had lost Erin at the park. She'd been in many terrifying situations in her life, but that was one of the worst. Erin had been so small and innocent; things could have turned out much differently.

As if thinking about him conjured him up, David came out of a room and walked toward them. Preoccupied, he hugged Kelly. "Ruby has been wild since Felice had her. Have you seen Donna?" he asked her. Maddie ran to catch up with Sammy and Ruby, a little mother hen.

"Well, hello to you, too," Kelly said, swatting him.

"Sorry. I just can't seem to get the right chords down. It's driving me crazy. I dream about the music and then when I wake up, it's gone. Donna is the only person that has ever been able to help me remember it," he mused.

"Maybe that's a sign, David," Kelly told him gently. It broke her heart that her best friend and "brother" couldn't seem to work things out.

David rolled his eyes. "Yeah, maybe we're _soulmates_," he said caustically.

Kelly felt as if she'd been punched. The sting of his comment must have shown on her face because David immediately apologized. "Man, Kel, I'm sorry."

Forcing a smile, Kelly shrugged. "It's okay." She cleared her throat. "Let's look in the main theater for Donna. I'm supposed to be meeting Brenda there."

Walking into the main theater, Kelly was once again amazed at Brenda's vision. Pride that she was a part of something this huge had her smiling. "There's your muse over there," Kelly told David, pointing to Donna. Donna was helping a young actress get into an impossibly tight dress. Both were laughing and David paused for a moment just to watch.

Kelly saw unchecked longing in David's face in that moment and smiled. Things would work out for them, she thought. Her thoughts were interrupted by Brenda waving to her. Walking down to her friend, Kelly let herself continue to smile. "How does it feel to be the wizard behind the curtain instead of in front of it?" she asked.

"It's getting a little better," Brenda told her. "Let me show you what I'm working on."


	6. Chapter 6

Brandon was running late. Brenda was going to kill him. He jumped out of his car and walked quickly to the theater. Looking at his watch while walking into the door he bumped into a woman. "I'm so sorry," he said, steadying her. He couldn't believe his eyes. "Andrea?"

"Brandon!" Andrea said happily, jumping into his arms and hugging him.

Holding her tightly, Brandon marveled at how wonderful it felt to lean into a friend. And not just any friend; though he'd not seen her in a long time, Andrea would be one of his best friends for the rest of his life. "How's it going, chief?"

"Oh Brandon, it's so good to see you," Andrea said emotionally. She hadn't been able to make it to Kate's funeral, but she and Brandon had talked on the phone several times a week. Andrea's daughter Hannah had been diagnosed with leukemia and when Brandon felt at his lowest, he knew that Andrea's pain was much more than his own. The thought of Kassie battling for her life as Hannah had to broke his heart. He knew it had taken its toll on Andrea, as well.

"How's Hannah?" Brandon asked her.

"She's doing so much better, Brandon. She's a fighter," Andrea said determinedly. Hannah was now in remission and the whole gang was praying that she stayed that way. Jesse and Andrea split a lot time ago but their love for their daughter kept them in close contact with one another. Though Brandon disliked Jesse for hurting Andrea, he couldn't help but respect the man's dedication to his daughter.

"That's good to hear. What brings you here?" They began walking toward the main theater.

"I have some legal documents for Brenda to sign. Isn't it exciting, Brandon? Brenda's dreams coming true, all of us being together again?" Andrea was practically skipping.

"Not all of us," Brandon said under his breath. Andrea didn't hear him.

Hearing footsteps behind them, they turned to see Steve, still in a business suit. "Let the party begin," he said, hugging both Brandon and Andrea.

"Party?" Brandon said. "Brenda told me that she had something she wanted to show me."

"Oh, I do, brother," Brenda said from the doorway. "And you'd see it if you ever got in here!"

Putting his arm around Brenda's shoulder, he walked into the theater. A huge table full of food and drinks was on the stage. "What is this?" he asked suspiciously.

"A dinner party!" Kelly said from the stage, waving to them.

Brandon cocked his eyebrow at Brenda. "It's time we all got together in one place," she told him. He now understood his instructions to leave Kassie with his parents. He had to admit, a dinner party with his closest friends sounded like fun.

Donna and David, who were sitting at one end of the table, got up to hug everyone. Kelly, who had tears in her eyes, hugged Andrea, then Brandon. She smiled at Steve but made no move to hug him. Steve nodded to her, then quickly looked away. Brandon wondered about the exchange for a moment before Andrea called his attention to the food.

Before they started eating, Valerie and Rick came in. Brandon was still a little weirded out by that whole situation, but glad that Valerie had found happiness. Rick sat beside Brenda and they discussed money. Quickly losing interest in their conversation, Brandon studied Kelly. She seemed on edge…or was it just him? Though they'd talked in the past few years, they hadn't spent any time together. When Brandon found out about Kelly's pregnancy and that Dylan was the father, he'd decided to move on with his life and met Kate. Even so, he couldn't deny that Kelly still had a piece of his heart.

Stories from the past inevitably came up as they all laughed together; no one mentioned the one friend who was missing. As far as Brandon could tell, no one had heard from Dylan in a while. He couldn't believe that Dylan wasn't there for Sammy. If Sammy were his son-

He ended the thought there. The past was the past.

"So, Brandon, what are you up to now?" Valerie asked him.

"I'm not really sure," he told her. That was the truth. He'd made no plans and had no clue what he was doing.

"Maybe you'll stay in Beverly Hills for a while?" Kelly asked him.

"Anything is possible," he told her with a wink.

"A party without me?" said a husky voice from behind him.

"Dylan!" Donna cried, rushing up to hug him. Hugging her, his eyes roamed over the table, coming to rest on Rick and Brenda.

"I didn't know you were in town," Brenda told him, getting up as well and moving around the table to hug him, "or I would have certainly invited you!" Smiling, she lead him toward the table. While the others may not have noticed it, Brandon realized that his sister was now definitely on edge. Stealing a look at Kelly, he realized that she'd tensed up even more as well.

"Dylan!" David said, standing up and hugging him. "It's good to see you, man."

Brandon stood when Dylan got to him and they looked at each other. Brandon couldn't read Dylan's expression. "I've missed you, B," Dylan told him, taking his outstretched hand.

Until that moment, Brandon hadn't realized how much Dylan meant to him. Pulling Dylan into a hug, Brandon said, "Me too, D. Me too."

After hugging Andrea and Val, Dylan sat beside Brandon, across from Brenda and Rick. "So…Rick," he said. "How's life treating you?"

Rick smiled, unaware of the mounting tension in the room. "It's going really well Dylan, I've never been happier. I'm marrying the woman of my dreams, we're having a baby, work's going well…I couldn't ask for more."

Brandon noticed the pain that flittered across Dylan's face before it was masked. Interesting, he thought. Brenda had started talking to Donna but kept her eyes on Dylan, every now and then sneaking glances at Kelly.

"Sounds perfect," Dylan told Rick.

"As much as I'm enjoying this," Val said, "I think it's about time to clear up the misunderstanding." She smiled at Dylan, who was looking at her intently.

"You?" he asked in disbelief.

"Me, darlin'," she said happily.

Dylan broke out into a grin. "Well I'll be damned," he said, almost to himself. He stood up and reached across the table to shake Rick's hand. "Congratulations, Rick, and I mean that," he said, still smiling like he'd won a prize. And maybe he did, Brandon thought.


	7. Chapter 7

After the food was gone, people began to move around, changing seats and catching up. Steve found himself talking to Brenda. "Where's Janet, Steve?" Brenda asked him.

"She's working late tonight," he told her. At Brenda's look, he laughed. "No, really, she is. We're good." Taking another drink, he blurted out, "She cheated on me a few years ago."

Shocked, Brenda waited for him to go on. "It was a pretty miserable time. I love her. I love our daughter. But that's something that's hard to get over. We both made some pretty serious mistakes." Seemingly realizing what he was saying, he quickly said, "Sorry, I don't know why I'm talking about it."

Brenda put her hand over Steve's. "We've had problems, Steve. You and I haven't always gotten along so well." Steve started to say something but Brenda cut him off, "No, don't say anything. I know I'm not always the easiest person to be around." She chuckled. "Hell, I don't even like being around me sometimes. But I do love you, Steve," she told him, looking into his eyes. "And if there is ever _anything _you need to talk to me about, know that I'm here and that you can."

"Thanks Brenda," he said gruffly. "That means a lot to me."

"Am I interrupting?" Kelly asked, looking pointedly at Brenda's hand on Steve's.

"Nope," Brenda said, smiling and moving her hand. "Here, Kelly, take my seat. I'm going to get more booze." She winked at Steve, then walked off stage.

Watching her leave, Kelly asked Steve "What was that about?"

"Friendship," Steve told her, studying her face. Kelly looked at him.

"How's ours doing?" she asked him.

He took a long drink from his glass, then sat it down. "Ours is fine. It's everybody else's I'm worried about." Kelly grimaced at this.

At the other end of the table, Brandon and Dylan were catching up. "I don't know, man," Dylan told Brandon. "I thought getting away from everything and everyone was for the best." Watching Brenda come back to the table to sit by David, he took another drink of his soda. "I guess some things you can't run from."

"What about your son, Dylan?" Brandon asked him, more forcefully than he'd intended. "How can you not be here for him?"

Dylan turned to glare at Brandon. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Brandon. You don't understand."

"Help me understand, Dylan. Because frankly, there are a lot of things you've done in the past that makes no sense to me."

Dylan sighed. "Now's not the time, bro. But we'll talk about it." He looked Brandon in the eye. "We have to."

Donna, Val and Rick were bouncing baby names off of each other. "Too bad Ruby is taken," Rick said. "That's my grandmother's name and I've always really liked it."

"You can always have Pearl!" Donna told him. They laughed. Rick excused himself to go to the restroom.

"Okay, girl, tell me what's going on," Val told Donna.

Donna smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Donna, you and David haven't touched each other all night," Val pointed out. Donna flinched.

"I don't know, Val," Donna whispered, head down. Looking back up at her, she said, "I'm afraid I've lost him."

"You haven't lost him, honey," Val said. "He stares at you when you're not looking. No, don't look now!" she told Donna, who had started to turn her head to see if David was looking at her. "You can't let him know you know. So what's holding you back from telling him how you feel?"

"What if…What if he doesn't still feel the same way? I don't think I could take it if he didn't, Val." Donna got up and rushed off the stage. Val started to get up, but Kelly told her that she would go after Donna. Steve moved down to talk to the rest of the group.

"Yo Steve, I forgot man, where's Janet?" Steve explained to them that she was working, throwing a roll at Brandon when he raised his eyebrow like Brenda had done. "Trust me," he told them. "She's working."

"Who would have thought that Steve Sanders, of all people, would be in a committed, monogamous relationship for this long," Andrea said, hitting Steve lightly on the arm. Steve laughed nervously, then moved down to sit with Brenda and David. "Was it something I said?" Andrea asked Brandon and Dylan.

"Hey David," Val yelled down to the end of the table. "Why don't you put on some of that music you've been working on?"

Brenda nodded excitedly, "Yeah, David, let's see what they think!"

David went to set up the music and Brandon leaned close to Brenda. "This isn't opera music, is it?"

Laughing, Brenda shook her head. "Nope. Since he's been back here, David has really been working on his music again. It's great that he's helping me, but I have a feeling that his career may really take off this time. Wait until you hear it!"

As David's music began to play, the gang loosened up even more. The alcohol may have had something to do with it, too. "I can't believe I'm saying this," Dylan said to Andrea, "but I actually like his music this time."

"It is getting better," she agreed, drinking some more wine. A slow song had started playing and she began swaying in the seat to the music.

Brandon walked over to where she was sitting. "Want to dance?" he asked her.

Andrea snorted, getting choked on her wine. After laughing for a moment, she realized he was serious. "Brandon! You dance now?"

"Kate made me learn how," he said, smiling at the memory of his wife. "We took lessons for over a year. I'm still not any good," he warned her, "but I'm better at handling that now." They moved to an opening on the stage and began dancing.

"No way am I seeing this," Brenda said from behind Dylan. He turned to look at her and couldn't take his eyes away from her face. Memories flooded his thoughts, good and bad. When she smiled at him, he felt like he'd been hit in the chest with a bat. "What's wrong, Dylan? Wyoming take all of the dance out of you?"

"I don't know about that," he said, standing up slowly. Smiling, he held out his hand. "Want to find out?" The couple followed Brandon and Andrea out on the floor, holding each other close for the first time in years.

Brenda blocked out the past. She focused on being here, tonight, dancing with the only man she'd ever loved. She knew that they could never be together, but she decided to ignore that thought for now. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head onto Dylan's shoulder and sighed.

Dylan looked up as if for guidance. He had spent his life making mistake after mistake and he'd lost his way for a long time. Looking over at Kelly, he knew he had to set things straight or he'd lose the only woman he'd ever truly loved. Kelly looked over at him and gave him a tight, sad smile.

"They really love your music," Donna told David, watching Val and Rick join the couples on the floor. She looked at David, saying, "I really do too. I think it's great."

David looked away, watching them dance. When he looked back at Donna, he smiled. Donnas' breath caught. David hadn't truly smiled at her in a long time. "Do you remember," he asked her, taking her hand, "when you took a chance on a geek, kissing him in front of the entire school and daring anyone to say anything about it?"

Donnas' eyes welled up with tears as she nodded. She remembered. It had been her and David's first actual date, though in the beginning she'd maintained that it was only a friendly evening. Her friends considered David a nerd and she had been afraid of what they'd think if they knew she liked him. For the first time in her life, Donna had taken a stand and decided to act on her feelings. It had been love for her from the beginning.

"I've done so many stupid things," David told her, looking into her eyes. "I don't know if we can ever get over them." He paused and looked down. "But we have to try, Donna. We can't let that bold and courageous act," he smiled and she giggled, "go to waste."

"Oh, David, I've messed up too," she told him, leaning closer to him. "But I still love you today as much as I loved you then. As much as I loved you on the day we got married…maybe even more," she finished in a whisper. Leaning closer, David lightly brushed his lips over Donnas'.

On the stage, Steve tapped Brandon on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Walsh, are you making time with my Zuckerman?"

Laughing, Brandon pulled back. "Maybe," he said. "Are you trying to cut in?"

"It's been too long since I've danced with this little lady," Steve said, taking Andrea's hands. "Beat it, Shorty," he told Brandon, smiling. Laughing, they twirled off.

Stopping by Brenda and Dylan, he picked his sister up and swung her around, kissing her forehead before handing her back to Dylan. Laughing like a kid, Brenda shook her finger at him. Shaking his head and still smiling, Brandon walked back to the table and took a sip of his drink. He had to admit, his sister could throw a party. It felt good to be a part of this group again. "Like old times, isn't it?" Kelly said, walking up beside him. She'd gone to call Silver to check on Sammy and Ruby.

"Hey, Kel," Brandon said somewhat awkwardly. He hadn't really talked to Kelly alone in years and didn't know how or what he was supposed to say.

Kelly watched Brenda and Dylan dance. "They've always danced like they were made for each other, have you ever noticed that?" she asked Brandon. Brandon looked to find Dylan dipping his sister, both of them laughing. He had always thought Brenda and Dylan looked right together, from the beginning. Like they were two pieces of a puzzle made just for each other.

"Maybe they were," Brandon said, studying Kelly's face. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He immediately felt bad for hurting her. "Hey, Kel," he started.

She opened her eyes and he could see the tears in them. "I have hurt so many people, Brandon. Almost every person on that floor? I have hurt them in some way." She turned so that she was facing him. "And I know that I hurt you." She waved off whatever he was going to say. "It's true, Brandon. Because of my own selfishness, the people that I love are constantly getting hurt. And I'm so sorry," she said, turning to run out of the room.

The song ended and Brandon turned to follow her. Brenda had walked up to him and put her hand on his arm to stop him. "Let me, okay?" Brandon nodded and sat back down at the table.

Everyone else had returned to the table and a discussion of the Peach Pit was going on. Laughing at something Val said, Brandon replied but his thoughts were with Brenda and Kelly.

"Hey Kelly, wait up," Brenda called out, rushing after Kelly.

Kelly slowed down but didn't stop walking. Finally reaching her, Brenda touched Kelly's arm. Stopping abruptly, Kelly whirled on Brenda. "I get it, okay?" Kelly said shrilly. "You win, Brenda. You can have them all." She began crying in earnest. "I don't deserve them anyway."

Taken aback, Brenda didn't know what to say. "Kelly, it's never been a contest," she started.

"It has _always _been a contest, Brenda. Maybe not for you, because you're not like that." Kelly looked up. "You're a good person, Brenda. You always have been. I'm not like you." She wiped some tears off of her face. "I always wanted to be you, you know? Everyone gravitated to you, everyone loved you. I thought if I could just have what you had, then everyone would love me. It didn't work like that."

"Kelly, you are a good person," Brenda told her. "You help people all of the time."

"Brenda, how can you even say that to me? After everything I've done, why can't you just hate me? Why do you have to be so perfect and forgiving?" Kelly raged. "I saw what you had with Dylan and I took it! I took the love of your life and made him mine. I have his _son_, for God's sakes. And you're telling me I'm a good person?"

Brenda jerked back, feeling Kelly's word like a physical blow. Of course it had hurt her that Kelly and Dylan had fallen in love with each other. It still hurt her every day. The past was the past, though, and she couldn't do anything about it. "Kelly, I-"

"Just forget it, Brenda. Just leave me alone." With that, Kelly ran out the door.

Standing in the hallway, Brenda wondered what the hell had just happened.


	8. Chapter 8

He dialed her number but her line just rang and rang. He'd called her four times since he woke up, worried about her. After Kelly and Brenda had left the stage, Steve had followed behind them at a distance. He knew Kelly was upset, but the things she'd said to Brenda had shocked him. He knew how hard being around Dylan and Kelly must be for Brenda, and Kelly twisting that knife to intentionally hurt Brenda even more seemed unnecessarily cruel. The entire situation seemed unnecessarily cruel.

Steve also knew that his own time was coming. Kelly was like a time bomb, and everything and everyone in her path was going to get hurt when she eventually went off. Head hurting from the night before, Steve slowly got out of his 'Vette. The sun was viciously attacking his eyes and beating down on him. No more drinking, he thought to himself, then chuckled. "Yeah, that's going to stick," he said to himself, knocking on Brenda's door.

Brenda answered the door, carrying Addison. "Steve, hi!" Brenda said warmly. Steve found it amazing that Brenda's smile hadn't changed in the years he'd known her. She was working on some paperwork from home today, feeling that she needed a slight break from the theater. Donna promised to make sure the place didn't burn down while she was gone. Kissing her and Addy on the cheek, he walked into her apartment.

He whistled, taking in the place. Though small, Brenda's apartment was easily one of the most cozy Steve had ever been in. A fantastic view of the city was framed by large windows. "Nice digs, Bren," Steve told her. He wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Who'd you have to-"

"Steve Sanders, don't you dare say it!" Brenda said, laughing, hitting him in the shoulder. After Steve had accused her of sleeping with Roy Randolph to get the lead in a college production, she hadn't known if she'd ever be able to forgive him. Luckily, Steve truly was impossible to stay angry at. "I'll have you know that I am quite capable of taking care of me and Miss Addy all by myself, no man required."

"Ah, Bren," Steve said, pretending to be hurt, "we men need to feel important every now and then."

"Where's the fun in that?" Brenda asked, kissing Addy on the cheek and sitting her in the floor with her toys. Addy happily picked up a stuffed dog and started chewing on his ear. Brenda watched her daughter for a moment, with a smile Steve knew was reserved for mothers. Standing, she said, "So let's get to work!" Steve had brought some publicity ideas by for Brenda to check out.

Steve watched Brenda while she looked over some of his papers. Being honest with himself, he realized that in a weird way he'd always been jealous of her. Brenda had never been afraid to show anyone exactly who she was, whether they liked it or not. Because of her ability to put herself out there, she'd been hurt by most of the gang, even her twin brother. Yet she still loved them all. He didn't know how she did it. He spent most of his life hiding behind his smile and humor.

"So what happened with you and Kelly last night?" he asked her, his tone casual.

Brenda put down the papers she was looking at and sighed. With a bitter smile, she shook her head. "What always happens when I talk to Kelly? It gets thrown in my face. This time, I didn't even see it coming. Has she said anything to you? I know you guys talked a little bit last night."

"She seemed on edge, but I guess that's to be expected." Steve shook his head. He knew that Kelly was dealing with a lot of stress and that part of it was his fault, but some of the things he'd heard Kelly say to Brenda last night had been way out of line. "I don't understand you women. You should know that, Bren, look at my track record."

Looking amused, Brenda said, "Yeah, it _is _pretty terrible. But you're doing a good job being a husband and father, Steve. Don't mess it up," she told him jokingly.

"Sometimes it seems like I can't help myself," Steve muttered.

"Well, if it's any consolation, you're not alone. We've all got problems, Steve."

"Sometimes, Bren, our problems aren't ours alone," Steve said, putting his arms on the table and leaning toward her.

Planning to ask him what he meant by that, Brenda was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Hey David!" Turning back to look at Steve, she said, "Steve, I forgot to tell you that David was coming over. He, uh…well, he may be looking for some help with his music," Brenda finished with a pleading smile, batting her eyelashes.

"Oh, no you don't, Silver. Oh no," Steve said, shaking his head. "Fool me once-"

"Come on, Steve, it'll work out this time," David said to Steve. He held up a CD. "You said last night that you liked it."

"I _do _like it. _I _liked your old music, too. Remember that? When I put myself out there to help you and you turned on me?" Steve was shaking his head. "Oh, no. No way." Brenda and David kept looking at him. "I said no," he said. Brenda started smiling. "Brenda, I mean it…"

David smiled too. "So let's get started."

Steve sighed. "Alright."


	9. Chapter 9

Brandon was upset. For years, he'd tried to be impartial. He'd fallen in love with one of the people who'd hurt his sister so terribly; he considered the other a brother. But things were going too far, and Brandon knew that when it came down to it, he had to try to help his sister.

After Kelly had stormed out last night, Brenda had gone to her office for a moment. When she came out, everyone could tell that she'd been crying. Dylan had gone to her, tried to comfort her, but she'd pushed him away. The party, which had started out as such a success, left everyone feeling unsettled. There were still too many unknowns, too many issues that hadn't yet been brought to the surface.

West Beverly High hadn't changed as much as Brandon figured it would. Checking in at the office, he was shocked to find that Ms. Teasley had retired. It didn't seem possible for her to be gone. It also didn't seem possible that he was ever as young as the kids walking down the halls. At that age, he'd been so certain he knew all there was to know about everything. It was at that age, he thought to himself, that Brenda fell so hard for Dylan. Who could have known that she would still be feeling so much pain after all of these years?

Finding Kelly's office, he knocked. Though he still didn't know what he was going to say, he knew he had to talk to her.

Kelly opened the door, then closed it. She slowly opened it again. He could tell that she'd been crying; he was surprised that she had come in today. They'd had a late night and it had been particularly difficult for her. "What do you want, Brandon?" Kelly asked him, not moving to let him into her office.

Brandon rocked back on his heels a bit, unsettled. "Do you want to have this conversation here in the hallway, Kelly?"

Kelly closed her eyes for a minute. "I don't want to have this conversation at all," she told him. She moved back and opened the door to let him in. "This has to be short, I'm busy."

Walking in, Brandon discovered that Kelly's office was much larger than he'd thought it would be. It looked more like a living room than an office, actually. He supposed that for the kids at West Beverly, that was a good thing.

He sat down in one of her chairs and noticed the pictures of Sammy on her desk. The kid was a cutie, there was no doubt. His eyes lingered on one picture in particular and for some reason that he didn't understand, it bothered him. Shaking it off, he turned to Kelly. She really did look pitiful, but then she'd spent a lot of time perfecting that look. "Have you talked to Steve? He's been trying to call you."

"I have not. Nor do I want to. I just want to be left alone, Brandon."

"By everyone, right? You don't need friends anymore?"

Kelly scoffed. "That's not what I mean, Brandon. I'm just having a hard time right now, and with Dylan back…" She shook her head, trailing off.

"Dylan. It's always about Dylan with you, Kelly. How could you say those things to Brenda last night?"

"I'm sure she told you-"

Brandon cut her off, angry. "Brenda didn't tell me, or anyone else, _anything_. She went to her office, came out and continued to act as if nothing happened. Dylan tried to talk to her and she wouldn't even look at him. Steve is the one who told me what you said to her. Why would you do that?" Brandon leaned forward. "After everything you've done to hurt her, why do you still have to do more? When will it be enough?"

"I don't mean to do it Brandon!" Kelly yelled at him. "I don't know what's wrong with me, okay?"

Brandon stared at the woman he'd loved for so long. He knew she was hurting, but so was Brenda. "Steve made up a reason today to go over to Brenda's, just to make sure she was okay. Everyone seems to realize that you went way too far this time, Kel. Everyone but you."

Kelly snorted. "Of course Steve went over to see Brenda. Of course you're here to yell at me about Brenda. Of course Dylan tried to comfort Brenda last night. _Of course she's the only one hurting_!" Kelly sobbed. "What about me, Brandon? I'm hurting too!"

Shocked, Brandon leaned back. Shaking his head, he said softly, "Kelly, everything that's going on with you, everything that's hurting you, you did to yourself. I love you, Kelly," he started. When she started shaking her head, he put his hand up to stop her, then continued, "I do. So does Steveand everyone else, including Brenda." He got up. "If you don't tell people what the problem is, they can't help you."

Brandon walked to the door and opened it. Turning around he said, "As much as I love you, Kelly, I love my sister. I don't want you hurting her any more. If you can't handle being around her, then I suggest you quit working as a liaison." He gave her a long look, then walked out.


	10. Chapter 10

Brenda laid Addison down for a nap, thinking about taking one herself. Steve and David had left a few minutes ago, arguing all the way out the door. She picked up some toys and then went into her bedroom, eyeing her bed longingly. Just as she was getting ready to lie down, someone knocked on her door.

Smiling, sure that Steve had forgotten something, Brenda opened the door. She didn't know this guy. "Yes?" she asked him.

"Are you Brenda Walsh?" he asked her.

"I am," she confirmed.

"Then this package is for you," he told her, handing her a box. "Will you sign here?" he asked, holding out a signature pad.

Curious, Brenda signed for the package and shut the door. Opening it, she was surprised to find a play. There was no author listed, which was confusing. Brenda had wondered if people would start sending her their unpublished and unused masterpieces. She sighed. This was probably the beginning of a deluge of mediocre work that she'd never be able to use. She opened the play, deciding to read the first scene.

_Scene one:_

_He sat on the park bench alone, a book of poetry in his lap. His unseeing eyes stared ahead, his mind obviously somewhere else. He didn't notice the other people in the park, or that the wind had picked up. _

_ NARRATOR_

"_When a man truly loses his heart to a woman, he is never whole again. He will go on with his life, a shell. In the place where his heart used to be, sadness has taken root. Sorrow and longing will follow him all the days of his life. Memories of her love will linger, mocking him with hints of her warmth and her smile. The wind will carry her laugh, and it too shall pass him by. He will reach for a shadow, hoping that this time it will be more…that it will be her. _

_ So often the opportunity for such a deep love presents itself and so often it is ignored or disregarded. And then there are the times it is betrayed. The man knew it was his fault she was gone; he had driven her away. Theirs was a love that could have withstood the test of time, if only he had let it. Thinking back to the day he had met her, he closed his eyes and imagined he was there. _

_Scene Two_

Brenda stopped there. She knew what it was to love with such passion. The day she had met Dylan McKay, she felt as if something inside of her shifted, changed. She had never been the same.

Standing, she thought about Dylan and how amazing it felt to be in his arms again. She'd seen the way he'd looked at Kelly; each and every time she felt like a knife was piercing her heart. She hated herself for still feeling this way, after so many years. But as the narrator in the play had said, when you truly love someone, your heart is never yours again.

Brenda decided that she would continue reading the play. Her first two productions had already been decided and that's what they were all working towards now, but she would need to branch out eventually. Man, she was a sucker for a love story. 

Hearing the faint ring of her cell phone, Brenda did a mad dash around the apartment, looking for it. Finding it under some papers, she answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey Bren, it's me," Brandon said. "I know that Steve and David just left and you're probably getting ready to lie down with Addy," Brenda rolled her eyes at this; her twin knew her so well, "but I was wondering if I could come over for a few minutes?"

"Sure," she told him.

"Good. Open the door then," he told her, just as a light knock sounded at the door. Laughing, she pulled the door open and hugged her brother.

"Why did you even call?" she asked him, stepping back so he could come in.

"I thought you might already be asleep," he told her, sitting down at the kitchen table. "Got any butter pecan, Bren? I've had kind of a rough day."

"For you? Always." Brenda got out two bowls and the ice cream. "What's going on today?"

Taking his bowl, he said, "I went by to see Kelly at the school today."

"Brandon, look," Brenda said, "I don't really want to talk about Kelly."

"Yeah, well, she didn't really want to talk either. Bren, I think something's going on with her," Brandon said.

"Of course there's something going on with her. There always is. Isn't that how she keeps you boys in check? By always needing a knight in shining armor?" Brenda asked him crossly.

"That's not fair and you know it. Don't you wonder why she's acting so weird?"

"Brandon, since Kelly and Dylan first got together she's acted this way. I know that you don't know about some of the things that we've said to each other, but trust me when I tell you that this is not the first time something like this has happened." Suddenly angry, Brenda continued, "And you don't know these things, Brandon, because you _didn't care_. For years, I've tried to get over the fact that while my world was falling apart you were firmly on the other side." Standing up, she put her bowl in the sink. With her back to Brandon, she said, "Brandon, I know that everyone seems to think I'm this strong, forgiving person." She turned around to look at him, crossing her arms. "The truth is, I am so angry all the time." Her words were heavy with anger. "It chokes me sometimes, Brandon. Sometimes…sometimes I just want to scream!"

Brandon got up and walked to her, but Brenda warded him off. "I think I just need some time, Brandon, okay?" She gave him a small smile. "I'll call you later."

Brandon took a breath, studying his sister. Backing off, he nodded.

Brenda sat back down at the table, thinking about how certain some parts of her life were and how completely uncertain others were. Making a decision, she called Cindy to come watch Addy for a while. She had to talk to Dylan.


	11. Chapter 11

Dylan stood in his hotel room, staring out the window at the city. He'd missed this town and the people in it. He hated that he'd felt like he had to leave.

Brenda was hurting. The last thing Dylan had ever wanted to do was hurt her again. He'd made a promise to himself that he'd never do it again and after being in town one day, he's already broken it. He thought about those dark brown eyed filled with tears and cringed. She had shed so many tears because of him. She had fought so hard for him. He wasn't worthy of her, and he'd always known it. That's why he'd left London; he couldn't keep pretending that he was.

The day he'd left London had been one of the worst of his life. Brenda had been crying for two days and they weren't talking to each other. He had seen how well she could take care of herself, how happy she could be. He felt like he was always holding her back, like he was unneeded. He'd tried to talk to her about it, but as busy as she always was, they'd never been able to discuss it.

"Bren, I need you to look at me," he told her one night after dinner. She had been doing the dishes and he'd been putting them up. As always, they worked like a team.

She looked over at him, smiling. Seeing the serious look on his face, her smile slipped. "What is it?"

"I'm leaving, Bren," he said, closing his eyes against the pain he saw in hers.

The plate she'd been holding fell out of her hands. "Dylan?" she whispered.

Opening his eyes and looking into hers, it took him a minute to remember why. "You don't need me here. You're doing so well here on your own. You have good friends, a great job-"

"Wait. Because I have friends and a job, I don't need you? That doesn't make any sense, Dylan."

He took a deep breath. "I don't fit here. I don't belong. It's only a matter of time before you realize it, too. Bren, I don't even know what I'm doing with my life."

Brenda sat at the table. "If you're unhappy here, we'll move somewhere else. It's not that big of a deal."

"It is. You _do _belong here, Bren. You're amazing. People love you, love to watch you. You come alive on that stage."

"Dylan, I don't care about any of that if I don't have you. All of it would be worthless," she pleaded.

He had known she would give it all up for him. He knew that he couldn't let her. She may not realize it now, but she would come to hate him if she left. He couldn't be responsible for ruining her dreams.

They'd talked for days, Brenda becoming more and more upset when she realized he was really leaving. He heard her crying at night and it caused him physical pain. He wavered many times, but deep down he knew what he was doing was right. He loved Brenda more than he had ever loved anyone or anything. He would never love someone as much as he loved her. But sometimes love wasn't enough.

Brenda drove him to the airport. She'd been cold all morning, refusing to look at him. When he unloaded his luggage, he looked at her. Some of the old fire was in her eyes. Don't do this, he thought to himself. You're making the biggest mistake of your life. "Bren," he started, reaching for her.

Stepping back, Brenda looked at him. "You're right, Dylan. You don't belong here. But I do. I _am _making something of myself. You're not. You still don't know what you want to be when you grow up. If you had just talked to me," she said, looking into his eyes, "I could have helped you. We could have worked together. Anything, Dylan, was possible with us together." She looked down for a moment. "But you forgot. You always forget." She took a deep breath. "And I can't keep reminding you of something you should already know." Tears streamed down her face.

He reached for her, pulling her close. With his hand under her hair, he pulled her close for a kiss. Memories of all their time together flashed through his mind and he knew that this woman would forever be the only one for him. But she was right. He didn't know who he was. Until he did, he couldn't hold her down.

A knock on his door startled him. Opening it, he found the last person he expected to see. "Kelly," he said, unsure of what to say.

"Dylan," she said. "We need to talk." He moved aside so she could come in, staring at the door after he shut it. They did need to talk; they had a lot to say to each other.

"Nice room," Kelly commented, looking around the place.

"It'll do," Dylan agreed. "Listen, Kel, I wanted to talk to you about-"

"Brenda, right? We need to talk about Brenda." Kelly said, sounding hurt, staring out the window he'd just left. Looking at her, Dylan felt a different kind of pain. When he'd been hurting after leaving Brenda, he'd still not known who he was or what he was doing. Because he was weak, he'd been looking for something to fill the void. He'd found Kelly. Again. Closing his eyes, Dylan realized how much of their relationship had been him using her to fill the void left by Brenda. And he truly was sorry for that. Maybe it was time he told her.

"Kelly, we need to talk about a lot of things. And yes, Brenda is one of them. But the first thing we need to talk about is our son."

"I want to talk about Brenda, Dylan. I want to talk about her first." Kelly knew that after they had a talk about Sammy, he'd probably never talk to her again. She had a lot of things to say before that happened.

Dylan sighed, sitting on the sofa. "Okay, Kel. Talk away."

Turning to look at him, Kelly said, "I know you love her, Dylan. I've always known. I never-" she stopped, tears falling down her face, "I never even came close. And it drove me crazy." She sat beside him on the sofa. "I wanted everything she had. She had the perfect family, the perfect home, the perfect boyfriend. I had nothing. And I wanted it, Dylan! I was willing to do anything to get it."

Dylan nodded. "Sometimes, watching the Walsh's, or just Brenda and Brandon together, I felt cheated. Their family was so perfect." He looked down, then back up. "I didn't feel like I belonged. Like I was worthy to be a part of it."

"I _wasn't_ worthy. I hurt both of them so much, Dylan. And I don't even know why, because I love them both. I _need _them both to be a part of my life, but I keep pushing them away."

"When I'm with Brenda, I feel more strongly about everything. And it's scary, Kel. She makes me feel things that are too much sometimes." He cleared his throat. "For so long, I had to bury any emotion because I knew that they would just lead to pain. With Brenda, for the first time, I didn't want to do that. And she hurt me. I couldn't go through that again."

"So you chose me," Kelly said, bitterly. "Because I was an easy way to ease your pain."

"I'm so sorry, Kelly," Dylan said, meaning it. "I didn't even realize what I was doing at the time, not really. I truly care about you, and I hate how much I've hurt you."

Kelly closed her eyes. "I used you, too, Dylan." Opening her eyes, she whispered, "It was always Brandon for me. When he turned me down, I was humiliated. And then when he was gone…I needed someone. I hate that I seem to need someone to feel complete, but that's the way it always has been. I'm weak."

Because Dylan had just been thinking the same thing about himself, he understood. "I'm going to be with Brenda if she'll ever give me another chance, Kelly. I hope that you can be happy for me. Nothing makes sense without her in my life. I can't breathe right unless she's with me."

Kelly closed her eyes against the pain of knowing she hadn't been enough for him. She'd tried to be, but she'd failed. Just like she'd failed Brandon. "It will take me some time, Dylan. I really do love you. It started out differently, but you're one of the most important people in my life. And that's another reason what I'm going to tell you is going to hurt me too," she finished in a whisper.

"Oh, hey, Kel, come here," Dylan said, pulling her to him for a hug.

"We need to talk about Sammy, Dylan," Kelly said.

"I know. Kelly, you were right about me. I was a mess. I didn't even remember us getting together because I must have been drinking so much. I was hurting, and I ended up hurting you too. But I can't stand the idea of Sammy being without a father. And I'm doing really well now. I need to be a part of his life."

Kelly cringed when she thought about what she'd done to Dylan. When he had come back from London, he'd been broken. They'd tried to work something out, but in the end they'd failed. He had moved to Wyoming, buying a ranch there; he'd been in town for a visit when she'd gotten pregnant with Sammy. When she'd told him about the baby, he'd been disbelieving. He and Kelly hadn't exactly been on speaking terms and he'd been miserable about losing Brenda. He'd found out that Rick was in London and knew that he would never be able to get her back.

He had tried. He quit drinking again, but he was still moody and Kelly knew he was miserable. She couldn't handle her own guilt and had spent her time making him even more miserable. When she found him drinking again, she'd used that as a reason to make him leave and told him to never come back. He'd tried since then to be a part of Sammy's life, but Kelly- to her shame- kept bringing up his past and his addictions. As low as Dylan had been, it wasn't hard to convince him that Sammy would be better off without Dylan in his life. Dylan sent money and presents and even visited a few times, but he respected Kelly's wishes and stayed away for the most part- for Kelly but mostly for Sammy.

Dylan took Kelly's silence for condemnation. "Kelly, I never wanted to have kids, it's true. I was afraid that I would hurt them like I had been hurt. But I'm ready, now. I'm just sorry it took me so long."

Kelly knew she was getting ready to lose everyone who had ever mattered to her. She and Sammy would truly be alone. This was something no one was going to forgive her for. "Dylan," she said, looking him in the eye. "Sammy isn't your son."

Dylan continued looking at Kelly, confused. "What? _What_?" Jumping up, Dylan paced the room, breathing hard. "What do you mean Sammy isn't mine? Whose is he?"

Crying, Kelly couldn't look at him. Dylan stopped in front of her and grabbed her shoulders. "Who is Sammy's father, Kelly?" Dylan demanded, shaking her. "Who?"

"I can't-" Kelly sobbed, "I can't tell you, Dylan. I'm so sorry." She looked up at him, feeling even worse when she saw the tears running down his face. Dylan was hurting; she'd ripped his son from him again. She'd watched them together, seeing the love Dylan had for Sammy on his face every time he looked at the boy. She was so ashamed.

Disgusted, Dylan let go of Kelly. His brain wasn't working right. So completely shocked, he didn't know what to say or do. Thinking about Sammy, Dylan felt as if his heart was going to break. He loved Sammy. He _wanted _Sammy to be his son. He _needed _Sammy in his life. He couldn't breathe. How could Kelly do this to him? "Why me, Kelly? Why did you do this to me?"

Kelly knew that her next words were almost as bad as her first. But she had to say them. She was done lying. "Because you were going to go back to London." Crying even harder, she said, "Because you were going to go back and fight for Brenda."

Dylan, not looking at her, closed his eyes. He didn't know her. He never had. He had no idea how anyone could say they loved a person after systematically destroying their life. "God, Kelly. Who are you?" They were silent for a moment, Dylan facing the wall. Suddenly he hit it. Then he knocked the bedside table over. He pulled the pictures off of the wall and threw them down. He threw a chair across the room. When he was done, he sat on the edge of his bed, putting his head in his hands and sobbing.

Kelly got up and walked to him. "Dylan," she started, hesitantly reaching toward him.

"Get out of here Kelly." Dylan said, not looking up. "Just leave."

Knowing they still had a lot to discuss, Kelly hated to leave. She had no choice, though. Still crying, she walked out on one of the only men she'd ever loved, afraid that she was going to fall at any minute.


	12. Chapter 12

Brenda walked down the hall to Dylan's room, so nervous she was afraid she was going to be sick. She was a wreck, her insides quaking. Things had always gone so horribly wrong with Dylan, but she couldn't seem to let him go. She tried so hard to be strong and independent, but at night she sat awake and remembered having Dylan's arms around her. Addy brought joy to her life, something that had been missing since Dylan left her in London. Even with Addy, there was something missing. That something was- and always had been- Dylan. The time to hesitate was through.

Getting to his room, she knocked on the door. She heard movement, but there was no answer. Knocking again, a bit harder, she was surprised when the door opened slightly. Suddenly afraid, she slowly opened the door and walked in. "Dylan?" she called uncertainly.

The room was destroyed. Had there been a robbery? Did someone attack Dylan? Her eyes searched the room as her heart beat faster. Brenda reached for her cell phone, preparing to run out of the room and call the cops.

"Bren?" a voice in the corner whispered.

Her heart broke when she recognized Dylan sitting in a corner, a glass of whiskey in his hand. He looked more broken than she'd ever seen him, even worse than at his father's funeral. "Dylan!" she said, walking toward him warily. "Dylan, what's going on?"

Dylan lowered his head onto his arms, still holding the whiskey. "I'm so lost, Bren," he said in a broken whisper, not looking up.

Brenda reached Dylan and lowered herself to her knees. She took the glass from his hand, noticing that it was full and wondered if it was the first he'd poured or if he'd had more. Setting it down beside her, she hesitantly put her hand on his, searching his face and arms for injuries. "Dylan?" she said softly. "Can you talk to me? Are you okay? Should I call someone?"

"Who would you call?" he asked, looking at her, his face scrunched up in pain. "Who would care? Who would care if today was the day Dylan McKay checked out?"

"Dylan, don't talk like that. You know you have people that love you. Sammy-"

"Sammy? Sammy, Bren?" Dylan laughed dejectedly. "Sammy isn't even _mine_. The one thing I thought I'd done right, and he's not even my kid!" Dylan said hoarsely.

Shocked, Brenda didn't know what to say. Why would he say that Sammy wasn't his? _Had _he been drinking? Licking her suddenly dry lips, Brenda said, "Dylan, I'm not sure what's going on, but maybe we should-"

"We, Brenda? Is there a "we" now?" he asked her softly. "Or is there just me?"

"Dylan, I'm trying to help you. I don't know what to do, I don't know what's going on. Tell me what I can do," Brenda pleaded.

Dylan reached for Brenda and pulled her to him. She came willingly, soft and warm in his arms. Dylan hadn't felt warm since he'd left London. Pulling her head down to his, he kissed her hungrily. God, he'd missed her so much. How had he ever lived without her? Breathing hard, he broke off the kiss, then put his forehead to hers. He noticed that her breath was just as labored as his. "Dylan," she whispered, then leaned closer to kiss him again, her lips softly brushing his.

"Kelly just left," he told her. At the mention of Kelly, Brenda flinched. Her stomach flipped. She didn't want to know that Kelly had been in the same hotel room as Dylan. She didn't want to think about Kelly right now, not when she was in Dylan's arms. She didn't want to think about another woman being in them too. Pulling back from Dylan, she searched his face. He looked at her, his eyes filled with pain. "She told me," he started, then shook his head, "she told me that Sammy isn't my son." His face crumpled and he brought his hands to cover his eyes.

Brenda stared at him, mouth open in shock. "Dylan…" Brenda didn't even know what to say. No wonder he was so devastated. She took his hand, pulling it from his face. When he was looking at her, she said, "Dylan, I'm so sorry." Tears came to her eyes. She couldn't imagine the pain Dylan was going through. She brushed her fingertips across his cheek and he leaned his head into her hand, turning his face so that his lips brushed it. Her hand burned where his lips touched.

"I need you, Bren," he said, taking her hand and pulling her to him again. He kissed her questioningly, giving her a chance to pull back. He tasted her tears, mingled with his. Brenda wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. His hands came up to cup her face, his fingers then running though her hair.

Brenda pulled back, standing up. Dylan looked up at her, not sure what she was going to do. With her out of his arms, his whole body felt cold again. She held her hand out and he took it, letting her pull him up. Slowly, holding his hand, she pulled him toward the bed; she never took her eyes off of his face. When her legs touched the bed, she pulled him to her, her lips seeking his. Dylan closed his eyes and let go, falling into the warmth he had only found with this woman.


	13. Chapter 13

Brenda felt the rage slowly consume her. Sitting on the bed, watching Dylan sleep, she started shaking. She had known pain in her life, had been betrayed; she realized that her hurt had been nothing like this. When Dylan had talked about Sammy, his entire face lit up. He'd spoken of his plans for the two of them many times; trips to Baja, teaching Sammy to surf, introducing him to Iris and Jack, sharing his favorite stories and places. Dylan truly loved the child. How could Kelly be so cruel?

Brenda had never been one to repress her feelings and she knew that what she was planning would probably not end well. She also knew it was something she had to do. Taking pains to not wake Dylan as she got up, Brenda slowly got dressed and walked softly outside of the room. Using her cell phone, she dialed her brother. "Brandon," she said quietly, "I need you." Telling him where she was and to hurry, Brenda went back into the room to wait for her brother. She couldn't leave Dylan alone right now, but she couldn't stay here; she had something important to do.

Brandon wasn't sure what was going on, but he knew from Brenda's tone that it was a big deal. Walking down the hall toward Dylan's room, he texted her sister to let her know he was here. She opened Dylan's door and shut it quietly. He could tell that she had been crying. "Bren," he said, "what-"

Brenda went into his arms, crying. Brandon could feel her shaking, so he pulled her tighter. He held her for a moment, then pulled back, looking at her. "Are you okay?" he demanded. "Did he hurt you?"

"No, Brandon, it's not like that." She looked at her brother, her eyes pleading with him. "Dylan is hurting right now. I have to go take care of something, and I don't think it's a good idea for him to be alone right now. Can you sit with him for me Brandon? He's sleeping right now, but I'm sure he'll wake up soon."

"Sure," he said, still confused. "But what's going on?"

Brenda shook her head. "It's up to him to tell you, Brandon, not me. But please," she whispered, "please take care of him for me, okay?" At Brandon's nod, she kissed him on the cheek. "I'll call his room as soon as I'm on my way back. I shouldn't be too long. And then we can talk." She walked toward the elevator. "I love you."

"Love you too, Bren," Brandon said, walking toward Dylan's room. He turned off his phone so it wouldn't wake his friend. Though he wasn't sure what was going on, he knew he would do anything to help Brenda out.

Brenda drove with the window down, her anger coming up into her throat like bile. Twice, she caught herself speeding and had to hit the breaks to slow down. She had had enough; Kelly had hurt her many times, but what she'd done to Dylan was unforgivable.

Pulling up to Kelly's house, Brenda got out and walked to the door. She knew that Sammy was with Donna and David today because Donna had mentioned taking him and Ruby to a movie earlier. She hoped Kelly was at home, but she knew that even if she wasn't, she'd wait in the driveway to talk to her.

Knocking on the door, Brenda waited. Knocking harder, she heard Kelly in the house. "Go away!" Kelly said. Infuriated, Brenda beat on the door again, yelling for Kelly to let her in. Kelly finally opened the door and stepped back, scowling at Brenda. Brenda could tell that Kelly had been crying. "I said "go away" Brenda," Kelly told her, slamming the door shut and walking into the house. Brenda caught the door with her foot and walked in. She slammed it so hard it opened back up but she didn't care. Walking into the living room she found Kelly standing by a table, pouring a drink.

"You miserable bitch," Brenda said, watching Kelly down the drink. "Do you think you can just cry and feel sorry for yourself and everything will be okay?"

Kelly sighed and closed her eyes. "Brenda, I'm not really having a good day, okay? Can we save this little discussion for later?"

"Kelly, I just left Dylan, who is absolutely _devastated_, and you think I'll just come back later?"

Eyes opening with shock, Kelly said, "You've been with Dylan? Did he tell you-"

"I know everything, Kelly." Brenda said, face flushed with anger. "How could you do this to him? How could you do something like this to anyone?" Brenda demanded. "He loves Sammy! He would have done anything for him."

Kelly turned her back on Brenda, refilling her drink. Brenda moved closer, grabbing Kelly's arm. When Kelly turned, Brenda saw the gun in Kelly's hand. Stepping back, she said, "Kelly, what are you doing?"

"Wouldn't the world be a better place without people like me, Bren?" She reached back for the drink, downing it in a gulp, keeping her eyes on Brenda. "I can't do anything right, you know. I have hurt every single person I've ever loved." She gestured toward Brenda. "I've hurt you more times than I can count. And I don't even know why, Brenda. Isn't that insane? I just keep doing it, without knowing why." She chuckled softly, tears streaming down her face. Shaking her head, she continued, "I just can't think of one reason I should stick around."

"Kelly," Brenda said with her hands out, "you're not thinking clearly. Sammy loves you. You're an amazing mother. You're so good with Silver and all the kids at school."

Kelly shook her head. "Sammy would be better off without me, Bren. I'll probably hurt him, too. I won't mean to, of course, but it will probably happen. It's what I do. I destroy people's lives."

"Kelly, you've hurt me, it's true. But you haven't destroyed my life. You haven't destroyed anyone's life. Dylan is hurting now, but we'll work something out, okay? And I know that Sammy loves you, Kelly. He's a great kid, and that's because of you. Put the gun down and we'll talk about it."

"Brenda, come on. We both know that if I didn't have this gun, you'd have already kicked my ass. And we both know that I would have deserved it. I've just-" Kelly seemed to flounder for words. "I've just been so lost," she said, unknowingly repeating what Dylan had said earlier. "I've gone through so much, Bren. I've been raped, shot, and burned. I've lost both of the loves of my life. I've repeatedly hurt my best friends, and for what? So I could feel better about myself? I've not felt good about myself since that summer you went to Paris." Her words starting to slur, Kelly leaned back against the table.

"Kelly, this is something that can be helped, okay? We all love you. Brandon loves you. He's never stopped, Kelly."

"Oh but he will," Kelly said in a singsong voice, shaking her head. "This is not something that can be so easily forgiven, Brenda. This is a big deal. And I've been dealing with it for years now. When I called Steve and told him about telling Dylan, you should have heard his voice, Bren."

"Steve?" Brenda said, confused. "What?"

"Steve is Sammy's father. He and Janet were having problems and he came to see me. I was upset because I'd just found out that Dylan was planning on going back to London to beg you to take him back." Kelly paused at this, remembering. "We didn't mean for anything to happen, we were just so drunk." She looked down. "And then I was pregnant. Since Dylan had been in town, I thought it was perfect to just say he was Sammy's dad. Then he would stay with me and Janet would never find out about me and Steve." She looked at Brenda. "Steve didn't even know Sammy was his until he was about one. By that time, he and Janet were doing great but Sammy would have destroyed it. I couldn't do that, Brenda."

"Kelly," Brenda said, her mind reeling with all of this information, "we'll work it out. I'll help you."

"I don't want your help Brenda!" Kelly screamed, causing Brenda to jump. Realizing how close to the edge Kelly truly was, Brenda frantically tried to come up with a plan. She could keep Kelly talking, but no one knew where she was or what was going on. No one would be coming for help. Kelly continued, "I'm tired of being the bad girl. I'm tired of always being the one in the wrong. I'm just so tired, Brenda. Tired of being miserable. I love Sammy so much," she sobbed, "but I'm so afraid what me being his mother will do to him."

Brenda, too, was crying. "Kelly, please. You know this isn't the way." Seeing movement out of the corner of her eye, she realized Steve had walked into the room and was behind Kelly. Kelly didn't realize he was there. To distract Kelly, Brenda took a step forward. "Kelly," she pleaded, "let me help you. I love you."

Kelly looked at Brenda for what seemed like a long time, then put the gun up to her head. "There is no help for me now Brenda." Before she could pull the trigger, Steve lunged toward her, knocking the gun down as it went off. They landed in the floor, Steve on top of her. Kelly was screaming, sobbing, begging for Steve to get off of her. Steve, out of breath, looked up to Brenda to tell her to call someone. Brenda looked at him, shocked, holding a hand to her chest. Steve saw blood pouring over her hand before she fell to the floor.


	14. Chapter 14

Andrea was frustrated. Her socks kept disappearing. It was like the dryer ate them. Pulling the dryer from the wall, she looked behind it to see if there was some sort of treasure trove of missing laundry. Sadly, there wasn't. Were she mechanical at all, she'd take the damn thing apart and search for a demon hidey hole.

Shaking her head and walking back to the kitchen, she wondered what she was going to fix for supper. Hannah was with Jesse tonight, so she was thinking about just skipping the meal altogether. She hated eating alone and she missed Hannah terribly when she was gone. After almost losing her daughter to leukemia, it was hard for Andrea to let Hannah out of her sight.

Hearing her cell phone, Andrea was tempted to not answer it. She saw that it was Donna calling and picked it up. "Hello," she said cheerfully.

She couldn't understand Donnas' frantic words. "Donna. Donna, slow down. What's going on?"

"- and David is recording and I can't reach him and no one knows where Brandon is and his and Dylan's cells are turned off and I've got to find Jim and Cindy," Donna was saying, her words rushed and broken by sobs.

"Donna, I know where Brandon is. He called me earlier when he was heading to Dylan's hotel room. Calm down, sweetie, and tell me what's going on." Panic flared in Andrea's chest. Whatever was going on, it was bad.

"Brenda's been shot, Andrea," Donna said, crying. Andrea's hands turned to ice. Donna continued, "Steve isn't sure if she's going to make it. And I," Donna broke off, gasping for breath, "I don't know what to do! I'm going to the Walsh's but can you find Brandon for me Andrea? Please? And tell him where she is? Oh God, Andrea, what's going to happen? We can't lose Bren," Donna whispered into the phone, choking on her tears.

Andrea nodded, though Donna couldn't see it. "Donna, calm down. We can do this. If you're driving, you should pull over until you're calm, okay? I'll go right now to get Brandon and Dylan," she said, running to the door and getting her keys. "What about Kelly?" Andrea asked her. "Should someone call her?"

"Kelly's in jail," Donna sobbed. "She's the one who shot Bren." Crying harder, Donna ended the call.

Andrea stopped walking, staring at her phone. A million thoughts were running through her mind, but the only one she could latch on to was that this was going to kill Brandon.

Speeding to the Bel Age, Andrea alternated between worrying about what she was going to tell them when she got there and worrying about Brenda. Andrea loved Brenda. Though they'd had some minor issues when they were younger, Andrea had always found Brenda to be an amazing and caring woman. She'd wished with all of her heart when they were younger that she could be as strong as Brenda. She hoped that strength would now carry her through this.

She wasn't sure what room Dylan was staying in so she had to stop at the front desk. She could tell that her tear streaked face and shaking hands caused some concern from the hotel staff, but she was given the room number. For a moment in the elevator, Andrea considered going back down to her car and letting someone else tell Brandon.

Finally reaching the door, she knocked. When no one came to the door, she realized that she must not have knocked loud enough. Knocking again, Andrea stood waiting in the hall. Brandon opened the door, looking at Andrea questioningly. He looks upset, she thought to herself. "Hey, Andrea," he said, moving to let her in. "This isn't really the best time…" his voice trailed off as Andrea took in the trashed room. "Dylan is in the bathroom but he'll be right out." Taking her arms, he turned her around so she was facing him. Searching her eyes, he said, "What's wrong?"

Andrea started to tell him, but when she opened her mouth a sob came out. Brandon, concerned, pulled her to him and held her. Trying to keep from falling apart and to be strong, Andrea pulled back. "It's Brenda, Brandon," she said. Brandon took a step back and held up his hand, as if to ward off whatever it was Andrea was going to say. "She's been shot." Andrea reached out to touch Brandon's arm. "We have to get to the hospital right away, Brandon. Donna said," she took a breath. "Donna said it's very bad," she finished in a whisper, watching Brandon's face.

Looking at Andrea, Brandon couldn't find his voice. The room started spinning and he went down to his knees. He couldn't catch his breath. A loud buzzing drowned out the rest of Andrea's words as an image of Brenda flashed through his mind. Doubling over, Brandon tried to catch his breath.

Andrea dropped to her knees, too, taking his hands. "Brandon, listen to me, okay? You have to come on. We have to get to the hospital."

"What's going on?" Andrea heard behind her and looked back to see Dylan standing in the bathroom doorway. He looked terrible.

"Oh Dylan," Andrea said, crying, "We've got to go. Brenda's been shot and we have to get to the hospital."

Dylan froze, his mind and body systematically shutting down. Knees week, he reached for the bathroom door knob to steady himself. Shaking his head as if to clear it, one thought forced its' way through: Brenda needed him. He had to get to her. Rushing over to Brandon, he tried to help his friend up. "We've got to go, Brandon," he told him, pulling him. "Let's go Brandon!" he yelled at the other man.

Recognizing the urgency in his friend's voice, Brandon stood. Together, the three of them raced to Andrea's car, which was parked in a tow away zone in the front of the hotel. Though Brandon wanted to drive, he realized that Andrea was right in saying it wasn't a good idea.

Reaching the hospital, Andrea let the men out and went to park the car. Brandon and Dylan rushed into the emergency room waiting room and talked to a frazzled nurse who refused to tell them anything. Brandon was yelling at her when Donna ran up to them. "Brandon!" she cried, hugging him.

"Where is she, Donna? Is she okay?" Dylan asked her, pulling her away from Brandon.

"Come with me," Donna told them, walking quickly down the hallway.

"Brandon!" Cindy cried, rushing into Brandon's arms. Jim walked over and put his arm around Dylan. "Oh Brandon," she cried, "our baby girl."

Hugging his mother, Brandon looked at Jim. "Dad, what's going on? Is she okay?"

White lipped, Jim shook his head. "All we know is that she's in surgery now. She's lost a lot of blood and hasn't regained consciousness." Jim looked like he was going to say more but couldn't. Looking away, tears fell down his face. "I don't know how this could have happened."

Dylan looked at the faces around him. His heart was beating too fast, his breath too shallow. When he'd woken up to find Brenda gone and Brandon in his room, he'd been confused. Had she just been a dream? Brandon had filled him in on Brenda's phone call and exit, then the two of them had talked. Brandon, too, had been horrified at what Kelly had done. He and Dylan had discussed where Dylan was going to go from here, with Dylan telling Brandon he couldn't live without Brenda. "How _did _this happen?" he asked.

They all looked to Donna. Still crying, she said, "Steve called me and told me that he'd been trying to get in touch with all of the Walshs' but couldn't. He said that Brenda had been shot and he had to leave the hospital to go to the police station. He was so upset and he wasn't making a lot of sense…and I was so upset that I wasn't able to understand it anyway. He said that Kelly shot Bren," Brandon gasped and Dylan closed his eyes at that news, "but that it was his fault," she finished in a whisper. Andrea had joined the group and put her arms around Donna, who turned into her friends shoulder and cried.

"We had taken the girls out back," Jim said. "We didn't even realize the phone had rang."

Brandon looked around, realizing for the first time that he didn't know where his daughter was. "Where is Kassie?"

"Julie was with me when I got the call from Steve," Donna told him, referring to an actress in Brenda's company. "She offered to stay with the girls."

Dylan moved away from the group, walking down the hallway. Fear and pain washed through his body; he was scared. He couldn't imagine living in a world without Brenda. He didn't think he could. There would be no point to it.


	15. Chapter 15

Brenda's family and friends waited, praying with every breath that she would come out of surgery okay and suffer no long term consequences. If this were a television show, that would have likely happened. But this was real life; no one was shot in the chest and left virtually unscathed.

A nurse came out several hours into the surgery and relayed the news that Brenda's heart had stopped beating. Her heart, which had always been so very strong, had simply given out. She had never regained consciousness, and though she was on life support, the prognosis was not good. The surgery was over, and there was nothing left to do. Telling the family how sorry she was, she told them that a doctor would soon be out to speak with them.

Dylan found that he couldn't move. While the others cried and reached to each other for comfort, Dylan sat on his cold hospital chair and closed his eyes.

He had known pain before. He had lost his father (he had thought) and his young bride. Both losses had ripped pieces of his heart away. Nothing compared to this pain he was feeling now. He knew that Brenda _was_ his heart; without her, there was nothing left of Dylan McKay.

Dylan's thoughts flitted from the present to the past, stopping on a memory for a moment and then moving on. He felt as if his heart stopped beating when he realized that there would be no new memories. His life stretched out before him, dark and cold.

"She's not gone yet, you know," he heard a soft voice say. Turning, he found Toni, his wife, sitting in the chair beside him. She looked at him and smiled. "Hello, love," she told him, taking his hand.

Unable to do more than stare, Dylan waited for her to say something else. When Toni had been killed, Dylan had thought he'd never move on. Only with the help of Brenda had he become human again. "I know you're thinking about giving up, Dylan," Toni said. "You can't. She needs you, just as you've always needed her." Toni smiled at him. "I know that you're thinking I'm not real. You could be right. But what I'm telling you, Dylan, is the truth. Brenda is still here and she's still fighting. She needs to know that you're with her and that you love her. That's all she's ever needed."

There were so many things Dylan wanted to say to Toni. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. Opening them, he found that he was alone. There was the chance he always had been. He didn't believe that, though.

Standing, Dylan walked down the hallway toward where they were keeping Brenda. He knew that no one was allowed in to see her, but that didn't stop him. After going in several wrong rooms, he finally found her bed.

She looked so tiny, laying in the bed with tubes and monitors hooked up to her. Dylan's breath caught in a sob as he moved closer to her. Her chest moved up and down, but he knew that it was only because a machine was forcing it to. Her face, always pale, was even more so. He took her hand in his, and was not surprised at the warmth of it. Tears streaming down his face, Dylan moved closer.

"Do you remember, Bren, the first time we met? I couldn't take my eyes off of you. I knew that there was something about you that affected something in me. When I was helping Brandon with Mondale and you were on the balcony, I _felt _you behind me. I knew then that you were going to be a part of my life. And it scared me, Bren. But you were so open, and you let me into your heart before I knew what was happening." He paused, squeezing her hand slightly. "I messed up so many times," he whispered brokenly. "But you have always been my heart. You have always been the other part of me. I can't let you go," he said, openly crying. "You have to fight, Bren. You have to come back to me, to Addy. Our story doesn't end here. It can't. You've always been so strong," he pleaded. "Be strong now." He closed his eyes, remembering. "I told you once that if we were meant to be together, time would tell." He leaned down to kiss her forehead. "It's time, Bren," he whispered.

A sudden beeping had people running into the room. Dylan was pushed back as medical personnel crowded around Brenda's bed. "She's back," he heard a doctor tell a nurse. Dropping to his knees and sobbing, Dylan sent up a silent prayer of thanks to a God he'd almost stopped believing in.


	16. Chapter 16

Kelly hadn't been able to stop crying. Whether her eyes were opened or closed, she saw nothing but Brenda's face before she hit the floor. She could still hear Steve screaming as he crawled over to Brenda, holding her in his arms and trying to stop the bleeding. He had promised Brenda she was going to be okay, rocking her like a baby, begging Kelly to call 911. And somehow she had.

She had killed her best friend. Brenda hadn't been breathing when the ambulance had taken her away with Steve in it. The look of horror on Steve's face said all that needed to be said, really.

And so here she was, in a psychiatric hospital all alone. She wanted to hold her son, to talk to him, to reassure him that everything was going to be okay though she knew it wouldn't. Thinking about baby Addison growing up without Brenda had Kelly rushing to the bathroom to throw up. Sitting in the floor of the bathroom, she sobbed until she was hoarse. This was never going to be okay.

Kelly had first been taken to jail. One of the arresting officers had wanted her to stay there; Kelly couldn't help but agree with him. Though the shooting had truly been an accident, it was obvious that Kelly needed help. The doctor she'd talked to earlier had mentioned Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Kelly felt that this was an apt diagnosis. Dr. Kirk had pointed out the fact that Kelly had suffered so much in her life, most recently with the loss of her mother. It just became too much.

Someone walked into her room but she didn't get up from the floor. "Ms. Taylor?" a nurse called.

"Go away," Kelly whispered, so low the woman couldn't hear her.

Coming into the bathroom, the nurse looked at Kelly sympathetically. "Ms. Taylor, are you okay?"

Kelly waved the woman away. She didn't want to see anyone and she didn't want anyone to see her. Putting her head back against the bathroom wall, she thought about the kids she'd gone to school with. If they could see her now, they'd revoke her "Most Beautiful" status for sure.

"Ms. Taylor, you have a visitor. You need to get up and come with me."

Kelly shook her head. There was no one she wanted to see other than Sammy and she knew Silver wouldn't bring him here. The nurse persisted, pulling Kelly's hand. "Please, Ms. Taylor, get up!"

"Leave me alone," Kelly told the woman, slapping her arm. "Just stop it!" she cried shrilly.

"What's the problem?" Dr. Kirk said from the doorway.

The nurse sighed with relief. "Doctor, Ms. Taylor has a visitor but she won't get up and come with me."

Dr. Kirk looked at Kelly, taking in her disheveled clothes and blotched face. "Ms. Taylor, I think that this visit will be good for you. Why don't you splash some water on your face and come out?"

"I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to be left alone."

Dr. Kirk looked at Kelly for a moment, then nodded. "Very well, I'll tell your visitor you won't be coming out." When he and the nurse left Kelly slid down the wall, resting her head on her knees.

A few minutes later the door opened. Without looking up, Kelly said, "Please, just go away."

"Kelly?" a familiar voice said quietly.

Kelly's head jerked up in shock. "Mrs. Walsh?" Seeing the older woman, Kelly began crying again. The other woman had been crying too, Kelly could tell. Cindy Walsh had always been there for Kelly, no matter what. And Kelly had killed her daughter. Shakily getting up, leaning heavily on the wall, Kelly wasn't sure what to do. She didn't understand why Cindy had come to see her.

"Oh, Kelly," Cindy said, walking to Kelly and pulling her into a hug. They stood together for a while, both crying. Kelly couldn't even say she was sorry; the words were so inadequate.

"She's going to make it, Kelly," Cindy said, still holding Kelly. At this news, Kelly's legs buckled and she sank slowly back to the ground.

"Brenda?" Kelly asked, uncomprehending. "She's…?"

"She's in Intensive Care," Cindy told her, sitting on the floor beside her. "But she's alive. Brandon and Dylan are sitting with her. They won't leave her side," Cindy told Kelly. "We came so close," Cindy started, then shook her head, not finishing the thought. "She lost so much blood her heart gave out. She was on life support, but she's breathing on her own now. She regained consciousness for a moment. Said Dylan's name." Cindy laughed quietly. "That's our Brenda."

Kelly closed her eyes, so overcome with emotion she thought she was going to faint. "Kelly, everyone is hurting now," Cindy told her. Kelly opened her eyes and looked at her. "And everyone is upset. I know you didn't mean to shoot her, but this isn't the first time you've hurt her." When Kelly's face paled, Cindy went on. "I know that Jim and I have always made it a point to stay out of our children's relationships, and we've done a pretty good job. But now, Kelly, I feel like there's something I need to say." Kelly braced herself.

Cindy rose and walked to the window. "I've known you for years now, and I've been there when you've been hurt. I know there are things missing in your life that you're always trying to make up for." Cindy looked into Kelly's eyes. "It's time to let them go. You can do nothing about the past, Kelly. It's over and it's gone. What matters now is where you go from here. You can choose to leave this room packing around all of that bitterness and hurt. Some people would. Or you can choose to start over. You have an amazing son, a beautiful sister, a career where you really make a difference. You have a lot going for you, and it's time you realized that. Until you do, you're going to keep hurting the people around you, the ones that care about you." Cindy walked back over to Kelly and leaned down over her. "I know that it will be hard for you, Kelly, but it's time to embrace the person you are and stop wishing to be someone you're not. Live _your _life and find your own happiness." The words stung, but Kelly acknowledged the truth in them. For too long she'd wanted whatever Brenda had; she'd wanted the family, the love, the happiness. She wasn't even sure what she truly wanted out of her own life- it had been so long since she'd really thought about it.

When she was done speaking, Cindy leaned in and hugged Kelly again. "When you feel like you're ready, come visit Brenda. She's got a long road ahead of her and she'll need all the support she can get."

Cindy walked to the door and opened it. "Does everyone hate me?" Kelly asked her.

Cindy turned around and smiled softly. "No one hates you Kelly. This is hard for everyone, but we're going to get through it."

"I'm so sorry," Kelly told the woman shakily. "I love Brenda so much, I didn't mean to hurt her."

Cindy nodded, then left the room. Kelly looked toward the window, thinking about what she had said.


	17. Chapter 17

David carried Ruby into her bedroom and laid her down, kissing her on the forehead. He stood by her bed for a moment, just watching her sleep. She was amazing, David thought to himself. He had been given an angel to take care of. Thinking about how crazy the world could be, David sent up a silent prayer that he was up to the task.

Walking into the living room he sat on the couch, rubbing his face with his hands. He was tired. He'd spent part of the day at the hospital with Brenda, telling her stories about Ruby and Donna, laughing about things that had happened to them in the past. Brenda drifted in and out of consciousness, but the gang was certain she could hear them.

The rest of the day he'd spent at the theater. It had been decided that work would go on, and as soon as Brenda could, she'd come back and resume running the place. Because Val was the closest to Brenda and had a general idea of what Brenda was wanting, she had stepped in to take over the day to day paperwork and decision making. Though he hadn't wanted to, Rick had to go back to London for work. Even so, he and Jim were working together on the business side of the company. Donna was working on costumes and helping the cast with their lines and stage direction. David was doing the music and choreography as well as working with the stage crew and building maintenance. David marveled at the fact there was only one of Brenda and five of them, but she handled everything so much better alone than they did together.

When he sat down, David always thought about Kelly. He was torn, not knowing if he should reach out to his step sister or not. He had always loved Kelly and stood by her, but he wasn't sure how he felt about what had happened. He knew that Kelly had to have been in immense pain to do what she'd done, and that she likely still was. If David had any idea at all what to say to her, he'd have already called or gone to visit her in the hospital. As it was, he kept putting it off. He'd played with Sammy earlier today, and the poor kid was really missing his mother. The whole situation was hard for everyone.

The door opened and Donna came in, carrying fabric samples and papers with both hands. After getting into the front door, she dumped all of it by the couch and without saying a word laid down by David, her head in his lap. Bending down, he kissed her head. "That bad?" he asked her.

She didn't answer and David realized she was crying. "Hey, hey," he said, moving her around so that she was sitting up and looking at him. Tears made tracks down her face. "What is it?"

"Oh David, it's just so awful," she told him, crying quietly. "I went to the hospital to see Bren on the way home from the theater. I met Brandon in the hallway because he was going to the cafeteria to get some coffee and said that Dylan might still be asleep. Bren's room was dark, so I just walked in, being quiet just in case." She moved around, putting her head on David's shoulder. "He was talking to her, so quietly I almost didn't hear him. I stood there and listened- I didn't want to intrude, and I was afraid that if I moved back out of the room he'd notice. He was talking about a trip they'd taken to Ireland and how they'd ended up hopelessly lost in some small town they couldn't even find on their map. He said that it started to rain and the little car they'd rented had gotten stuck in some mud and when they'd gotten out of the car to try to push it Brenda slipped and fell into a deep puddle. He said that when she smiled up at him, completely covered in mud but still laughing, he could feel all of the darkness and pain surrounding his heart fade away. He told her that she fixed it, just by smiling at him. And then he begged her to wake up and smile at him again." Donnas' soft sobs were muffled by David's arm.

"Shhh," David said into her hair, trying to soothe her. "She'll wake up, Donna."

"I missed you so much when we weren't together," she said, looking at him. "Ruby was the only thing that kept me going. I couldn't wait to see you again, even if I couldn't touch you or hold you. I don't understand why I stayed away for so long, David. I don't ever want to lose you again."

David leaned down to kiss her softly. "It was the same for me," he told her, looking into her eyes. "Things don't work the way they're supposed to when I'm not with you. I can't make sense out of anything. Nothing fits, you know?"

Donna nodded. "Brenda and Dylan have lost so much time together. What if they don't ever get more? What if they found each other just to lose each other again?"

David sighed, pulling Donna close to him. "I don't know, Donna. All we can do is be there for them and pray that things work out."

They sat on the couch for a while, each taking comfort from the other. The phone startled David, and he realized he'd dozed off. "Hello?" he said quietly into the phone, not wanting to wake Donna, who had also fallen asleep.

"David?"

"Yeah," he said, rubbing his eyes. "Who is this?"

"It's Janet," the voice said. "Have you seen Steve? I hate to be calling so late, but I can't find him and he's not answering his cell. I thought about calling Brenda's room but I was afraid I'd wake someone," she trailed off. "I wouldn't call if I wasn't so worried about him. Since Brenda was shot, he's not been sleeping. He's just not handling any of this very well," she finished quietly.

"I saw him yesterday and I noticed he wasn't looking well," David commented. "But I haven't seen him today. Do you have any idea where he could be?"

"I honestly don't know. I thought about going out to look for him but Maddie's asleep and she hasn't been feeling well tonight. What do you think I should do?"

David thought about it for a moment, then said, "I can look for him, Janet. I know a couple of places he may be."

Janet sighed in relief. "Thank you so much, David. I appreciate it more than you can know." A slight tremor in her voice told David that she was more worried than she let on. Telling her that he would call her when he found Steve, he got up from the couch, careful to not disturb Donna. He wrote her a quick note letting her know where he was going and why, then picked up his keys and left the apartment.

David drove to the Peach Pit After Dark, thinking that Steve might be in the club drinking. When he didn't find him there, he went to a couple more bars. Giving up, he drove by Kelly's as a last resort. David thought he was seeing things when he found Steve sitting on Kelly's front porch. Parking his car and walking toward Steve, David smelled alcohol before getting to the porch. Sitting down beside Steve, he took the offered bottle of whisky and drank from it, handing it back to Steve. "Janet's looking for you," he told Steve, looking up at the sky.

Steve shook his head and took another drink from the bottle. "I can't talk to her right now," he said.

"What's going on Steve?" David asked him, taking another drink from the bottle Steve handed him.

Still not looking at him, Steve said, "I can't stop smelling blood. I look down at my hands and I can still see it, all over me. I see Brenda, limp, dying…" he trailed off, taking the bottle back and drinking from it. "I see her dead, man."

David studied Steve's face in the streetlight. "I used to have the same problem," he told Steve, "only it was Scott instead of Brenda."

Steve closed his eyes. "I never even thought about that, David. I forgot all about Scott. I'm sorry."

David shrugged it off. "But Brenda's alive Steve. She's going to make it," he said with more confidence than he felt.

"It's all my fault," Steve said forlornly, staring down at the bottle he was holding. "I knew how much stress Kelly was under. I knew it and I did nothing. I could have stepped up, you know?"

He took the bottle back. "We all knew she'd been acting odd Steve, and none of us did anything. You can't blame yourself. There's no way you could have known this was going to happen."

Steve sighed and put his head down, staring at the porch. "Sammy's my son," he said.

David, mid-drink, choked. "What?" he asked, sure he'd heard wrong.

"Sammy is my kid, David. And I let Dylan believe Sammy was his to save my own ass," he said miserably.

David, still choking, sputtered, "What the hell, man?"

Steve looked over at David, taking the bottle back. "It's all my fault. All of it." He chugged the rest of the bottle, then threw it at his car. It hit the window, busting it out.

"Whoa, Steve," David said, putting his arm on Steve's. Mind reeling from what Steve had said, David looked at his friend. "Does Dylan know?"

"He doesn't know that Sammy is mine. But Kelly told him that he wasn't the father. She called me on her way home from telling him, that's why I was at her house. If the door hadn't been left open and I hadn't heard them arguing, I don't know what would have happened."

"I wondered why Brenda was there. I thought they may have been talking about the other night at the theater." It made sense now, in a way. Dylan must have told Brenda, who went to confront Kelly. What a mess. "What about Janet?"

Steve laughed softly. "Do you think she'd care where I was if she knew, David?"

"I do, man," David told him. "Janet loves you, Steve. I know you guys have had some problems, but nothing's going to change that." He hoped.

"How do I tell her, David?" Steve asked him, looking at him with pain etched in his face. "What do I say?"

David shook his head. "I wish I knew. You know I cheated on Donna. I don't even know why. But hurting her? I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that. For a while I pushed her away, thinking that she would be better off without me."

Steve nodded, listening. "I think that all the time. But I love her so much I can't seem to leave."

"Then you're going to have to do whatever it takes to make it work."

Steve wanted it to work. "I could have you come over and sing "Precious" to her," he said thoughtfully.

David rolled his eyes and laughed. "Always with the jokes."

Steve smirked, then grew contemplative. "What about Dylan? Do you think I should tell him?"

"I think someone needs to. It would be better if it were you or Kelly."

Steve looked at David, serious. "How is she? Have you talked to her?"

David let out a long breath. "I don't know what to say, man. I don't know how I feel about any of this. I love Kelly, but she's like a slow motion train wreck, you know? And then I feel bad for not being there with her." David shrugged. "Donna feels the same way. We just don't know what to do about any of this."

Steve nodded in agreement. Making a decision, he sighed. "Want to drive me home?"

"I can do that," David told his friend.

"Don't be surprised if I'm knocking on your door in a couple of hours."

"Don't be surprised if I don't answer," David told Steve, smiling when his friend punched him in the arm. This, at least, he could handle.


	18. Chapter 18

Dylan was leaning back, his eyes closed. His bones ached, but not as much as his heart. Brenda's body was healing, but she wasn't waking up. Dylan was going crazy, worrying that every breath would be her last. Brandon wasn't doing much better; he left the hospital to see Kassie but came right back. Jim and Cindy were taking care of both girls, but they seemed to only be going through the motions. It was as if everyone was holding their breath.

Dylan had way too much time to think. He thought about Sammy, about Kelly, about his father…he thought about all of the mistakes he had made in his life. And then there was Brenda. She was the most amazing woman he'd ever known. He had so many good memories of them together, but he forced himself to remember the bad as well. He knew that he couldn't live without her and if- _when_- she woke up, he couldn't make the same mistakes. He never wanted those eyes to cry over him again.

Even the thoughts of their arguments brought a smile to Dylan's lips; Brenda had the most amazing temper. Her eyes would literally flash with anger, her cheeks flush, her nostrils flare. Brenda angry was an amazing sight, second only to Brenda happy. And when she truly believed in something, she would never back down. She had once believed in him. He wanted her to again.

"Where's my baby?"

Dylan jerked up, his heart racing. Brenda was looking at him, her eyes full of pain. "Dylan," she said softly, wincing, "where's Addy?"

He moved to her bed, taking her hand. "Brenda," he breathed, smiling, his eyes raking over her face. "She's with Cindy." He found that he couldn't say anything else; his throat closed up with emotion.

"Am I," she closed her eyes, "am I okay?"

"You're going to be," Dylan promised her. "God, Bren," he said brokenly, leaning his head forward so that their cheeks were touching.

"Brenda?" Brandon asked from the doorway. Brenda slowly turned her head towards her brother. She smiled weakly. Brandon's knees buckled and he fell against the wall. "Brenda."

Dylan called the nurse and a doctor came in to talk to her. She fell asleep after only a few minutes, but the fact that she'd been awake and talking was a miracle. The doctor spoke with them after she was asleep and told them that the fact she was alert enough to be talking was a very good sign. There had been the threat of brain damage due to lack of oxygen, and while she was still not out of the woods completely, this was a step in the right direction. Dylan called Jim to let him know, then sat by Brenda's bed watching her.

Brandon had to leave the hospital. He was so incredibly relieved that Brenda had finally awakened; he felt like he was going to explode. Driving too fast with the windows down, the radio up, and tears streaming down his face, he wasn't even sure where he was going until he pulled up in front of Andrea's. She had brought Hannah by the hospital earlier on the way to drop her off at Jesse's. Rushing up to her door, he knocked. Impatient, he knocked again.

Andrea opened the door, surprised to see him. Brandon didn't give her a chance to speak. He pulled her to him and kissed her, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly. Shocked, Andrea didn't move for a moment. Soon, she was returning the kiss, her fingers wrapped in his hair holding his head down to her.

Breaking free, Brandon looked into her eyes. He didn't remember the drive here. He didn't remember what songs had been on the radio or even what time it was. But he remembered Andrea. She had always been there for him, from the beginning. He would trust her with his life; he knew that without a doubt he could trust her with this. "You're thinking too much, Brandon," she said, smiling.

He nodded, then leaned down to brush his lips softly over hers. No matter what, Brandon knew he wouldn't regret this. He let her lead him to the bedroom, his thoughts solely his own for the first time in weeks.


	19. Chapter 19

Kelly had spent the day with Sammy, playing his favorite games and just watching him. There had been a couple of times she had to walk out of the room so he wouldn't see her tear up, but she felt better than she had in days. She was still making plans, trying to figure out what to do with her life. As much as she hated to, she had taken a leave from school until she got things worked out.

Going back to her home had been as bad as she'd expected. A company had come in and cleaned before her return, but in her mind she could still see the blood on her carpet, smell it in the air. She stayed out of the living room as much as possible. She loved her home, but she knew she was going to have to sell it; there was no way she could continue to live here.

None of her friends had visited her, not that she had expected them to; she wouldn't be surprised if they never wanted to talk to her again. Walking through her house and putting toys away, Kelly thought about where she was going to go from here. She thought about Brenda often, wondering if she was okay. She wasn't afraid to admit she was too ashamed of herself to visit her. Not only that, she was pretty sure no one wanted her there, no matter what Cindy had said. Kelly was the reason Brenda was where she was. No one was likely to forgive her for that.

A knock on her door startled her. She didn't want to see anyone, but if she didn't answer the door they might knock again and wake up Sammy. Irritated, she pulled the door open.

The very last person on the planet she wanted to see was on her front porch. "Val," she said, crossing her arms. "What do you want?"

Val smiled at Kelly, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Aren't you going to invite me in, Kel?"

"I don't think so. My son is asleep."

"Ah, using your kid as a shield? Where was he when Brenda needed one?"

Kelly flinched. "I think it's time for you to leave," she said, stepping back.

Val stepped forward. "Let's just cut the shit, okay? I don't like you. I've never liked you. And now you've almost killed my best friend."

Kelly started to say something but Valerie spoke over her. "Just shut up, Kelly. The _only _person you should be talking to right now is in the hospital, hooked up to monitors and machines and needles," Valerie broke off there, looking away for a moment. Tears glistened in her eyes. "You haven't even called to see if she's okay. You did this to her and you don't even have the decency to apologize? Or send a damn "Get Well" card?"

Kelly, too, had tears in her eyes. "I love Brenda too, Valerie. I always have. I know what I did was wrong but I don't know what to say!" She stepped out of the house and shut the door behind her. "I'm sorry for trying to ruin your life? I'm sorry for doing everything I could to steal Dylan? I'm sorry for _shooting_ you? How do you apologize for things like that?"

"You say just that, _to her_! You go to where she is, you look her in the eyes, and you say you're sorry! You don't mope around here acting like a forlorn princess, thinking that because you feel bad that's good enough!" Valerie stepped back and took a deep breath. "You do not get to just walk away from this, Kelly. It's about damn time you took responsibility for your actions."

Kelly sank down on the front step. Putting her face in her hands, she said, "Valerie, just leave. I don't need you here reminding me of what an awful person I am. I'm well aware, okay?"

Both women were silent for a moment. Valerie spoke first. "You and I will never be friends." Kelly rolled her eyes. "But Brenda, for whatever reason, loves you. You have hurt her so much, and for such bullshit reasons, but she loves you."

Kelly looked at Val. "I don't know why she does. It makes me so angry that she's so willing to forgive me and love me, even after I've done so much to hurt her."

"Brenda has a better heart than either of us. That's why she deserves her happily ever after. And that's why she's going to get it." Valerie turned to leave, then looked back at Kelly. "We do too, you know," she said softly. "After everything we've been through, there has to be happiness waiting for us. It's only right." Valerie walked to her car, leaving Kelly sitting on the porch. "She's awake," Valerie said, opening the car door. "And her ears are working fine. You know, if you had anything to say to her."

After Valerie left, Kelly sat on the porch, thinking. Pulling her cell out of her pocket, she called Silver and asked her to come over and watch Sammy for a while. While waiting for her sister, Kelly changed clothes and ran over what she was going to say. Her mind was completely blank; she truly had no idea how she was going to do this.

During the drive to the hospital, Kelly thought almost every different scenario imaginable. Walking toward Brenda's room, she came close to hyperventilating. Moving as quietly as she could so as to not attract attention, she paused outside Brenda's door. She could hear Dylan's voice; he seemed to be reading something.

"And without her his life went on, but it was never the same. The wind didn't blow and the birds didn't sing. The sunset was black and white. Forced to live in a world with no music, he forgot how to dance.

Seasons changed but he didn't notice. The cold of winter followed him on the warmest day. In an exile of his own making, he became more of a shadow than a man. He embraced the darkness, knowing in his heart that he deserved it."

"It's from a play," a voice behind her said. Gasping, Kelly spun around to find Steve behind her. "He's been reading it to her for a few days now." He looked at Kelly for a moment, then moved toward her. "I'm so sorry, Kel," he said, grabbing her in a tight hug.

Finding comfort for the first time since the shooting, Kelly couldn't stop the tears. "Oh Steve, what have I done?"

Putting his chin on her head, Steve said, "Kelly, it's my fault too. I knew how stressed you were. We should have talked about it. I could have done something…" he trailed off, thinking about much he'd messed up.

Pulling back, Kelly wiped the tears from her face. "Are you here visiting Brenda?"

"I have been. But I decided earlier that I needed to talk to Dylan tonight. I have to get this off of my chest. I can't carry it around anymore. I wanted to tell you, I talked to Janet, about everything. She, uh, hates me right now. She hates you too." Steve grimaced, looking down. "I'm not going to let her get away, Kelly. I love her and Maddie too much." He sighed. "I was getting ready to see if Dylan wanted to go for a walk, get a coffee." Kelly nodded, not saying anything. "You can go in and talk to Bren while we're gone. And then maybe tomorrow or something…you and I can talk? About everything?"

Kelly nodded in agreement. "I'd like that, Steve. Hey, I needed to run to the bathroom. You go ahead and get Dylan, and I'll go talk to Brenda as soon as I get out."

Steve kissed Kelly on the forehead. "We're going to get through this. We all are. Right?"

Kelly nodded, not sure if she believed it herself.


	20. Chapter 20

Brandon walked into his parents' house with Kassie in tow. Since Brenda was getting better every day, the dark cloud of gloom that had surrounded the place had lifted. Looking through the house for his parents, he was surprised to find Cindy and Addy under the kitchen table. "Shh!" Cindy said, holding her finger to her lips. "Shh!" Addy mimicked, doing the same.

Jim walked into the room, his hands up like claws, growling. "Where are those two girls?" he said, winking at Brandon. "It's time for my lunch!"

"We're under de tabwle!" Addy shouted, giggling.

"GRRRRR!" Jim said, leaning down to look under the table. Both Cindy and Addy screamed with laughter. Jim grabbed Addy and pretended to eat her, tickling her stomach.

"Me, Papa, me!" Kassie said, reaching for Jim. Jim picked her up, too, carrying both girls into the living room. Cindy and Brandon watched them, both smiling.

"Have you eaten yet?" Cindy asked Brandon, walking over to the counter.

"Yeah, we ate earlier," Brandon told her, sitting on a stool.

"You seem to be feeling better," Cindy told him, noticing that Brandon looked calm for the first time in weeks. "Brenda really is going to be okay, Brandon."

Brandon smiled, thinking about his sister. "I know she is. She even yelled at me yesterday." They both laughed.

"What's on your mind, honey?" Cindy knew that Brandon was wanting to talk about something; she knew both of her children so well.

"It's Andrea," Brandon told her.

Cindy's eyebrows raised in shock. "Andrea? Has something happened to Hannah?" Cindy and Jim adored Andrea's daughter.

"No, no, nothing like that." Brandon sighed. "The other day when Brenda woke up, I felt like my heart was going to explode." Cindy nodded. She had felt the same way. "I had to get out of the hospital, so I jumped in my car and just drove. I ended up at Andrea's house."

Cindy smiled knowingly. Ah, she thought. I see.

"I didn't even think about it, I guess I was on auto pilot." The girls shrieked in the living room and Jim roared loudly. "I just needed to feel safe, you know? Things were crazy everywhere and I had so many feelings bottled up…I felt like she was the only person I could trust to help me deal with that. I needed…a break."

"I do know, Brandon," Cindy told him, putting her hand on his.

"And Andrea gave that to me. She's always been there for me, no matter what. Afterwards, I was so worried it as going to be weird. I love Andrea, but it's never been her for me. Not like that. Does that make me an awful person?" He looked at his mother, his face a mask of confusion. From the other room, Kassie shrieked and Addy giggled loudly.

Cindy studied her son. He was always so hard on himself. "Brandon, there are times in our lives when we do things, big things, without thinking. It doesn't make us awful, it makes us human."

Brandon nodded. "I knew that we had to talk about it, so when we were in her kitchen, I cleared my throat. Before I could say anything, she started laughing." Brandon shook his head. "I don't understand women."

Cindy chuckled. Andrea, too, knew her son well.

"She told me that she and Jesse have been thinking about getting back together. I was so shocked, I couldn't even say anything. I think I just stared at her. And she was smiling that smile, you know? The one she always has when she's being smarter than me? It drives me crazy." He picked up an apple from the fruit bowl and bit into it.

"Brenda has one of those too," Cindy said, remembering.

"Yeah, they've both spent too much time using those smiles on me," Brandon grumbled. "Anyway, she told me that she loved me and that she always would. I'm her best friend, and what happened was simply "one friend understanding what the other needed in a moment of panic and elation"." he said, mimicking quote marks. He smiled a little. "And that it wasn't going to happen again."

Cindy nodded. "Andrea's always been a very smart woman." The girls waddled through the kitchen, then back into the hallway. Jim followed closely behind them, hunkered down and making low growling noises. He winked at Cindy and Brandon, smiling.

Cindy turned her attention back to her son, smiling. "I remember when he used to do that to you and your sister. She was always a much better "hider" than you."

Brandon laughed. "I can see that." He looked out the kitchen window, thinking.

"What is it, Brandon?"

Brandon sighed, looking at his mom. "How could Kelly do any of this? This is the woman I loved so much that at one time I was going to marry her, and I realize that I don't know her at all."

Cindy nodded sympathetically. She had been shocked to find out about Sammy. She'd known Kelly was troubled, but what she'd done to Dylan was unbelievably cruel. Cindy had always loved Dylan like a son and she hated how he must be hurting. "Have you talked to her?" she asked her son.

Brandon shook his head. "I wouldn't know what to say. I know she didn't mean to hurt Bren, but she did. She almost killed her. And she's hurt her so much in the past, too." Brandon took a deep breath. "I don't know if I could ever forgive her, mom. But a part of me will never stop loving her." He sighed. "I'm just so confused."

Cindy started to say something but was interrupted by Brandon's cell phone. "Yeah?" he said into it. "Donna? Wait, what? Steve? Why? _What_?" Brandon closed his eyes. "Did you get Dylan? Is he okay? Did anyone call the cops? Okay, good. No, that's fine, I can be right there." He listened for a moment. "Who is that? Get David to make him stop, Donna, or someone will call the cops. Okay, yeah, I'll be right there. Is anyone with Brenda?" Brandon's knuckles turned white on the phone. "If she's there, get her out now. I'll be there in a few. Okay." He hung up the phone.

"Brandon, what on earth is going on?" Cindy asked him.

"Donna and David showed up at the hospital to find Dylan beating the hell out of Steve." Brandon looked miserable. "Apparently Steve is Sammy's father." Cindy gasped. "David pulled them apart, but Donna said that Dylan is going crazy, still trying to get to Steve. I heard him yelling, mom. He's hurting. I just hope no one calls the police." Brandon hit the counter with his fist. "And Kelly's car is in the hospital parking lot. I don't want her talking to Bren without anyone else there."

"Brandon, I don't think Kelly would hurt Brenda," Cindy told her son as he got up to walk into the living room.

"That's not something I want to take a chance on right now," Brandon told her.

Kassie and Addy were rolling around the floor with Jim, all three laughing. Cindy put her hand on Brandon's shoulder. "Go, Brandon. We'll watch Kassie until you get back." She smiled at him. "Go help your friends."

Brandon nodded, then picked Kassie up for a kiss. Her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkling, she looked so much like her mother Brandon's knees grew weak. He hugged her tight and looked down to find Addy at his leg, wanting a hug and kiss too. He picked up his sister's little girl, hugging her. It's going to be okay, he told the girl silently. I'm going to make sure of it. Kissing her cheek, he sat them both down and walked out determinedly.


	21. Chapter 21

When Brandon pulled into the parking garage, things were obviously not any better than they had been when Donna had called him. A small crowd had gathered and Brandon knew it was only a matter of time before security was called.

Donna was standing with Steve, wringing her hands as she watched him try to stanch the flow of blood from his nose. Looking at Steve, he could tell that the man had taken a beating. Looking over at Dylan, it was clear that the beating had been one sided; Dylan didn't have a scratch on him. David was standing in front of Dylan, talking to him in a low voice. Dylan kept shooting daggers at Steve with his eyes, not even acknowledging that David was there.

Making a decision, he waved at Donna, then walked to where Dylan and David were standing. "Dylan," he said, walking up to one of his oldest friends. Dylan looked over at Brandon and Brandon could see the rage in his eyes. Dylan wasn't calmed down at all. He was probably waiting for David to relax and then he was going to charge Steve again. Brandon raised his eyebrow at Dylan, then looked over at Donna. "Hey, Donna," he called, getting her attention. "Why don't you and Steve go to the bathroom and get cleaned up, okay? We'll be there shortly." At Donnas' questioning look, he nodded. She and Steve walked off, the small crowd parting for them.

Dylan rushed past Brandon, running for Steve but Brandon had been ready for the action. Reaching his friend, he pulled on his arm, stopping him. "Let go of me, Brandon," Dylan said through clenched teeth, not looking at him.

"Dylan," Brandon said, "look at me." Dylan cocked his head toward Brandon, anger clearly written on his face. "We need to talk about this."

"What is there to talk about B?" Dylan asked him. "The fact that my good buddy Steve is really Sammy's dad? How about me thinking I had a son for _four years _only to find out it was all a joke?" Dylan rubbed his face with his hands. "I can't believe Sammy isn't mine." He looked at Brandon helplessly, "Sammy isn't mine, Brandon. He's not mine…"

David had joined them, looking at Brandon for guidance. Brandon could have told the man he was looking in the wrong place; this situation was way out of his knowledge base. Dylan looked at David. "Did you know about this?" David shook his head, backing off a little. "No way man. And I had no clue Steve was involved at all, I swear."

Dylan nodded, looking at Brandon with his eyebrow raised. "I had no clue, D. It's hard for me to believe," Brandon said honestly. "I knew Kelly had been tense, but I never imagined any of this. I feel like I never really knew her at all."

Dylan sighed, telling the guys, "Kelly told me the reason she picked me was because I was going to go to London and fight Rick for Brenda. She said she didn't want me to. She hated the idea of me and Brenda being together so much, she lied to me about having a son." Dylan shook his head, snorting disbelievingly.

"Wow, did she say that? That's messed up," David said. Thinking about how honest Donna was, David was once again overwhelmed with gratefulness that she was his.

Brandon and Dylan nodded, each lost in their own thoughts. How much must Kelly have loved Dylan? Brandon was thinking. Dylan was wondering how Kelly could hate him so much. "Steve and I had problems, but he was one of my best friends. How could he do this? What the hell was either of them thinking?" Dylan wondered aloud.

"Did you ask him that?" Brandon asked his friend.

Shaking his head, Dylan said, "When he told me that he's Sammy's dad, I just lost it. I wanted to kill him," Dylan said honestly. "I couldn't stop hitting him. He wasn't even fighting back, but I didn't care." He took a deep breath, looking up at the garage ceiling. Most of the anger seemed to have left Dylan, replaced by sadness and confusion.

"How's Bren, Dylan?" he asked his friend, hoping to calm him with the mention of Brenda's name.

It seemed to work when Dylan smiled slightly. "She's amazing," the man said. "She's really coming around. She's already asking the doctors when she can leave."

"I wonder how things are going with her and Kelly," David questioned out loud.

The smile immediately dropped from Dylan's face. "What did you say?" he demanded.

"Oh, well, I just thought that since Kelly's car was over there, she was probably in visiting Bren. Maybe it's not her car though," he finished lamely, finally realizing he should have kept his mouth shut. Brandon closed his eyes for a moment, praying for patience.

Dylan took off toward the hospital entrance, Brandon and David close behind him. Dylan didn't know how Brenda would react to Kelly's visit, and he didn't want her to be alone.

Brenda was thinking about the play Dylan was reading to her. It was the one she'd gotten in the mail the day she'd been shot; she'd asked him to pick it up for her- it and Mr. Pony. When she heard Dylan read the words, there was a power to them she didn't quite understand.

The story was tragic. A man and a woman were deeply in love, but because of things that had happened in the man's life, he didn't fully trust himself or her. Because of this, he was always leaving her, hurting them both and making himself miserable. Something about the tone of the work struck a chord in Brenda.

She stretched, wincing. She hated this bed. She hated this place. She hated the monitors and machines…and needles. Man, she hated the needles. She sighed, annoyed. She needed to be out of here. She had a baby girl to raise, a company to run. A man to love. Thinking about Dylan, she wondered what was going to happen from here. He had a life in Wyoming, her life was here. He'd just lost his son, she had a daughter…they had years of heartbreak to get through and so much to learn about each other.

"Dylan?" she called, hearing someone walk into the room.

Kelly stepped into Brenda's line of vision. "Brenda," Kelly said, moving to the side of the bed.

"Kelly," Brenda said, surprised. She hadn't heard from Kelly but hadn't really expected to. Honestly, she'd wondered if she'd ever talk to or see Kelly again.

Tears ran unchecked down Kelly's face as she took in Brenda's appearance. Though her friend was conscious and talking, it was clear that she wasn't well. Brenda was more pale than usual, her eyes sunken and her lips chapped. The weight of her guilt fell upon her, almost crushing her. "Oh God, Brenda, I'm so sorry," Kelly sobbed, reaching out to touch Brenda's hand. "I know I should have called or came by before now, but I didn't know what to say." She looked down, then back at Brenda. "When I thought that you were dead, I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I can't explain it, it was as if I was the one who died." She stopped talking, unable to continue through her tears.

Brenda looked at the woman who she'd been so close to for so long, surprised at the lack of emotion she felt. She knew she should feel hurt, anger, indifference, love, pity, _something_. But she didn't. She felt empty when she looked at Kelly. It was a very odd feeling, one she wasn't sure she liked. "Yes, well, neither of us died."

Kelly searched Brenda's face for some idea of how the woman was feeling. "Brenda, do you think you can ever forgive me?"

Brenda closed her eyes for a moment. "I don't know, Kelly. I can't imagine being close to you again." She opened them and looked at her friend. "How could I ever trust you?"

"Brenda, I swear, I didn't mean for you to get hurt," Kelly started.

Brenda lifted her arm, waving away Kelly's words. "I know you didn't mean to shoot me. But you've gone out of your way since I've known you to hurt me. Why?"

Kelly swallowed, looking down. "I don't know, Bren," she whispered. Looking back at her friend, she leaned in to kiss her on the forehead. "I love you, Brenda." She turned to walk away, leaving Brenda alone with her thoughts.

Walking out of Brenda's room, Kelly ran into Dylan. "What the hell are you doing here Kelly?" he demanded.

Pushing past Dylan, she kept walking. Dylan grabbed her arm, forcing her to look at him. "You stay away from her," he told her lowly. "You've done enough to hurt her, Kelly. Unless she calls you and asks you to come, you stay away."

"Let me go, Dylan," Kelly told him.

Brandon and David walked up as Kelly jerked her arm from Dylan's hand. "What's going on?" Brandon asked, taking in the scene.

Dylan didn't take his eyes from Kelly. "Kelly was just leaving," he said.

Kelly turned and fled, not looking at Brandon or David. David hesitated for a moment, torn. "I'm going to look for Donna," he said, walking toward the bathrooms.

"I'm going to check on Bren," Dylan said, studying Brandon's face.

"I'll go talk to Kelly," Brandon told him. "We all need to talk, Dylan. All of us, together. We can't go on like this."

Dylan nodded. "I'm not doing anything without Brenda and she can't leave this room for a while." He shook his head. "We'll get to it, Brandon," he sighed. "Be careful, man." With that, Dylan went into Brenda's room.


	22. Chapter 22

"I need a drink," Steve told David.

"That's probably the last thing you need," Donna told him. "We _are_ at a hospital, Steve. Are you sure you don't need to see a doctor?"

Steve shook his head. "I need a lot of things, but a doctor isn't one of them."

"Are you sure it's not broken?" she asked him about his nose.

"It's fine, Donna," Steve told her, swatting her hand away when she reached toward his face.

"Okay, I'm going to go check on Bren," Donna said, kissing David on the cheek.

Steve saw David watching Donna walk away. "Things going better with you guys?" he asked.

"We're working on it," David said. He looked at Steve. "It's broke, huh?"

"Hell yes, it's broke," Steve mumbled, lightly touching his nose and wincing.

"You should get it looked at. They can straighten it out."

"Nah, man, I need the reminder," Steve told his friend. They both sat down in chairs beside a window.

"Well that didn't go the way you'd hoped, huh?" David asked him.

"Went the way I figured it would," Steve said, grimacing. "I didn't really get a chance to talk to him much. As soon as he realized I'm Sammy's dad, a switch flipped and he went crazy. Can't say that I blame him."

"I don't understand something," David told him after they'd sat there for a moment. "How could you know Sammy's your son and let some other man spend time with him? Or not be there for him?"

"It wasn't easy," Steve admitted. "Kelly was pretty adamant, though. There were so many times I wanted to talk to Dylan or be with Sammy…" He sighed. "I didn't push. Kelly seemed so fragile, I was afraid of what would happen. It was just easier to leave it be. She let me spend time with Sammy every now and then, and she named him after my mother." He shrugged.

David thought about it for a moment. "I can't think about what I'd do if Donna told me Ruby wasn't mine. I'd lose it, man."

Steve looked down. "I thought about that all the time. It would have ripped my heart out."

"Have you noticed how all around effed up this situation is? Bren's been shot, Kelly's been in the psychiatric hospital, Dylan beat your face in…" David leaned back in the chair. "I was so sure all of us being together again would be a good thing."

Steve leaned back too. "Even with all of this," he motioned toward his face, "I'm glad that the Sammy thing is out in the open."

"How are things with Janet?" David asked him.

"Aggggrrrhhh," Steve moaned. "Not well. It's worse because it's Kelly. She and Janet have spent time together, you know? She feels like we've made a mockery of her love and friendship." Steve stared off into space. "Can't say that I blame her, either. I'm not sure she's ever going to forgive me for this."

David nodded in understanding and both men sat in silence. Steve's phone rang. "Yeah? No way. Shit. Okay, coming," Steve jumped up, motioning for David to follow him as he ran toward the door.

"What now?" David asked.

"Brandon said that Janet has Kelly cornered in the parking lot," Steve told his friend.

"Great," David said sarcastically.

In the parking garage, Brandon wasn't sure what to do. When Janet had spotted Kelly and Brandon walking towards Kelly's car, she'd immediately changed her course and walked straight toward them. "You lying bitch," Janet hissed when she got close enough to talk to them. She slapped Kelly, and moved her hand to slap her again. Kelly remained silent, bringing her hand up to her face.

Brandon stepped in front of Janet, taking both of her hands in his. "Janet," he started.

"Don't say a word, Brandon, not a word!" Janet said heatedly. "Surely you're not going to defend her!"

Brandon looked into Janet's eyes. "Janet, I know you're hurting. I know Dylan is too. But we all need to calm down a little before we talk about it."

"This whore slept with my husband, got pregnant with his son, and then lied to me about it for four damn years! There's never going to be a "calm" about this, Brandon!"

Brandon nodded. "I can't imagine how you feel. I can't even imagine how I would feel. But I know that attacking Kelly in the parking lot isn't going to help anyone."

Janet nodded shortly, stepping back a bit. She stared at Kelly, shaking her head. Brandon called Steve and told him about the situation, then turned to look at Kelly. She hadn't moved, her hand still on her cheek. Brandon reached toward her and pulled her hand from her face. "Kelly?" Brandon asked her.

"She's right Brandon," Kelly said softly. "There are some things that can't be forgiven."

Janet rolled her eyes. "Of course I'm right, skank. You had the audacity to come into my home, to smile and act like we were friends for years! You're Maddie's godmother! I was there when Sammy was born, I've been at every birthday party he's had, I was there for you when Dylan left!" Janet paused to take a breath, and quietly said, "I've always been there for you, and now I realize what a fool I was. Everyone was right about you, Kelly. A leopard can't change her spots."

Brandon recognized the hurt on Janet's face. This had to be killing her. "Hey," he heard from the parking lot entrance and looked up to see Steve and David racing toward them. "Janet, are you okay?" Steve said, walking straight toward his wife.

Janet burst into tears. "Of course I'm not alright, you jackass!" she yelled at him, throwing her purse into his chest. Steve grabbed the purse before it fell, never taking his eyes from her face.

"Baby, can we talk about this, please?" Steve said quietly. "I'll do anything..."

Janet held up her hands to ward Steve off. "Stop!" Steve stopped moving forward. "How could you, Steve? And with Kelly Taylor, of all people?" Tears were streaming down her face. "I trusted both of you!"

Steve closed his eyes for a moment. "Janet, it was a mistake. I was so hurt by what was going on…things were bad, Janet. Don't you remember how bad they were?"

"Don't you dare turn this around on me, Steve," Janet warned him. "I was honest with you from the beginning! I would have _never_ done this to you!" She swiped at the tears falling down her face angrily.

"I told you I'd been with someone when we got back together, remember?"

"You didn't tell me it was _Kelly _or that she _had your son_! Steve, can't you understand how wrong that is?"

"We were drunk, Janet, and it just happened," Steve said miserably. "I didn't even know Sammy was mine until after his first birthday. By that time," Steve paused and hung his head, "things were so good with us again. And Kelly begged me not to tell." When Steve raised his head again, his eyes were full of tears. "I wanted to, Janet. And I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you like this."

"Marcie from work called me and told me that she thought you were here and hurt. Apparently she saw you fighting or something." She wiped the last of her tears from her face. "I can see now that you're okay, so I'm leaving." With that, Janet turned and walked off.

"Janet," Steve called, but the woman didn't turn around.

Steve turned around to face Brandon, David and Kelly. "What do I do now?" he asked them hopelessly.


	23. Chapter 23

Kelly pushed past Brandon and unlocked her car. "Kelly," Brandon called, walking after her. "Hey, Kel, talk to me."

Kelly looked at Brandon. "Brandon, I'm just about at the end of my rope here," she told him. "I need to leave."

"Let me come with you Kel," Brandon said. "We'll just take a ride and then you can bring me back here. Or I can call a cab or something," he added when it looked like Kelly was going to refuse again.

Kelly sighed. "Whatever Brandon."

Brandon nodded to Steve and David and got into the car. Kelly didn't say anything for a few minutes and Brandon decided to let her speak first. "Stop staring at me Brandon," she said eventually, glancing at him. "I'm not going to freak out."

Brandon smiled. "That's good to know. You'll be one of the only ones tonight to not do so, then."

Kelly sighed, "Tell me about it." Pulling up in front of her house, she stopped. She leaned her head back against the seat rest. "I don't know what I was thinking, letting Val talk me into going to the hospital."

"You saw Val?"

"Yeah, she came over to blast me for not going to the hospital. I would have gone," she said, closing her eyes, "eventually."

"Kelly," Brandon started.

"Brandon, look," Kelly said, interrupting him. "If you're going to give me another lecture, just save it. I don't think I could handle another one."

Brandon looked out the window towards her house. "I didn't come to lecture you Kelly." He turned to look at her. "I was worried about you. All of this has to be pretty hard on you."

Kelly snorted. "Yeah, well, you reap what you sow, right?" She smiled at Brandon weakly.

"Kelly, everyone is upset right now, but these people are your friends. You know that, right?"

"And you, Brandon? Are you my friend?"

Brandon thought about it for a minute. "Brenda is one of the most important people in my life. She's always been there for me, no matter how big of a jerk I had been to her." He paused for a minute. "I know you didn't mean to shoot her, Kelly, but you've done so much to hurt her..."

Kelly nodded sadly. "I know." She sighed and looked forward. "I know."

They sat for a moment, then both spoke at once. "Brandon," Kelly started. "Kelly," Brandon said.

They both smiled. Kelly started again. "Brandon, I don't know why I've acted the way I have in the past." She shrugged. "I'm not really that type of person." She made a face. "Well, I guess I am, but I don't mean to be. I don't _want_ to be."

Brandon nodded. "I know that Kelly. I know you. But it's hard for me to watch you hurt someone I care so much about." He touched her hand. "I care about you, too, Kelly. I always have. I always will. But I can't be a part of your life if you're not going to change that." Brandon admitted to himself that he'd been torn for years. A little voice in the back of his mind had always warned him that Kelly didn't mind causing pain for those who loved her. As much as he loved her, he didn't know that he could ever fully trust her with his heart.

Kelly nodded. "I can't tell you I'm going to change and expect you to believe it. But I hope that you know I do love your sister. I don't act like it, I know," she said when Brandon raised his eyebrows. "But it's true."

Brandon nodded. "She's easy to love."

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me Brandon?" Kelly asked him seriously.

Brandon thought about it for a moment. "I think that Brenda would forgive you for anything you've done to her," he started, hesitating.

Kelly nodded. "But not for what I've done to Dylan," she finished.

"You know how Bren is when it comes to Dylan," Brandon agreed.

Kelly looked down. "She's always loved him so much," she said. She looked at Brandon. "And she's so much better for him. I think that's what I hated the most. No matter what I did, Brenda would have done it better. Even though Dylan never said anything, I knew that he never stopped loving her. I was just someone to pass the time with." Tears in her eyes, she shook her head.

Brandon wasn't sure what to say. He knew that what she said was true.

"How is she? She looks so pale," Kelly asked.

"She's going to be okay. She's so strong," he said. "It hurts her to be away from Addy so much, and it's killing her that she's not working, even though Val and Donna keep her updated." His face grew serious. "Dylan has been amazing." Brandon looked at Kelly. "When he showed up at the dinner party, I had my doubts. They've tried so many times and it's never worked out. Brenda always ended up hurt. Dylan's been hurt, too. But now…they just fit, you know? It's like the past never happened."

"I hope they can work things out. They both deserve to be happy."

Brandon didn't respond. Looking at her house, he said, "What are you going to tell Sammy, Kel?"

Kelly looked at the house too. "Steve has asked me to let him be a part of Sammy's life," she said. "I think it's a good idea, I'm just not sure how to do it. Sammy thinks that Dylan is his father." She closed her eyes. "I don't even know if Dylan will ever speak to Sammy again. That's going to break his heart."

Brandon touched Kelly's shoulder. "Kelly, Dylan is a good guy. He wouldn't just disappear from Sammy's life, no matter what. He's hurting right now, but once he thinks about it, he'll do the right thing. He always does."

"I hope so, Brandon." She looked out the side of her window. "I'm afraid that this is going to hurt my son, and it's my fault."

"Kids are resilient, Kel. He'll probably adapt to all of these changes better than you are."

Kelly acknowledged his words with a smile. Clearing her throat, she looked at him. "So…what should I do now?"

"I would give it some time," Brandon told her. "Brenda will be leaving the hospital at the end of the week, so things are going to be hectic for a while there. Her physical therapist will be going to her house for a while, and I'm sure that's not going to be fun for anyone," he said with a grimace. "Have you tried talking to Donna or David? That may be the best place to start, Kel."

Kelly nodded her head, agreeing with him. "So do you want to come in and call a cab or something?"

"I think I'll call Andrea, see if she can come get me. I need to talk to her anyway."

"You're sure? I don't mind if you come in…"

"I'm sure," Brandon told her. He opened the car door and got ready to get out. "You can call me, you know. If you need anything, even to just talk."

She smiled at him. "Thank you Brandon." She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, pulling away from him slowly. They sat for a minute, just looking at each other. Brandon cleared his throat and ducked his head. "Goodnight, Kel."

Kelly watched him get out of the car. "Goodnight Brandon," she said softly.


	24. Chapter 24

Brenda sat by the window in her living room, watching the people on the street hurry to wherever they were going. Her physical therapist left a few minutes ago and she was tired and in pain. Sandy, the therapist, told her that she was pushing herself too hard.

"No one gets shot in the chest and just goes on about their business in a few weeks," the older lady had admonished Brenda. While that was probably true, Brenda couldn't stand not being able to fend for herself. She wasn't a dependent person by nature, and this forced dependency was making her crazy.

Brenda needed to get well; she missed her baby. Cindy brought Addy over every day for a few hours, but Brenda was still too weak to look after the girl on her own. Both Addy and Brenda cried when it was time for them to leave. Dylan took Brenda to the Walsh house every night for dinner, and Brenda read Addy a story every night before she went to sleep. Holding her little girl and hearing her sweet laugh made things easier; for a moment, anyway.

Though it would be easier for Brenda to stay at the house with her parents and daughter, she didn't think it was a good idea. Since the shooting, she had terrible nightmares and woke up screaming most nights. At night, her subconscious wouldn't let her rest. She didn't want to scare Addy, or her parents. She also didn't want them to see her cry. She wasn't sure why it happened, but at random times she'd realize tears were falling down her face and she wouldn't be able to stop them. At these times, Dylan would come over and wrap her in his arms, just holding her. He'd kiss her head and rest his chin on her hair, rocking her slightly. Only that seemed to calm her down.

Humming off-key to herself, Brenda got up and walked toward her home office. Val, Donna, David, Jim and Rick had done an amazing job taking care of the theater group while she'd been out, but there were a million things she still had to take care of. She'd gone by the theater a few times, sat in on some rehearsals. She was very pleased with her casting decisions; none of her actors and actresses lacked for passion or ability. She was slightly concerned about some of the scenery changes, but figured she'd talk to David about them later.

Donna had done amazing things in the costume/design department, and Brenda was proud of her friend. Though Donna had had her doubts about the job, she now admitted that the change was just what she needed. She also needed one of the actors to stop his new nervous eating habits; she'd told Bren she was constantly having to alter his outfits because of his increasing weight gain. She's seen this sort of thing happen in London; when becoming stressed about a part or upcoming production, some actors developed unhealthy eating habits, resulting in extreme weight loss or weight gain. Brenda made a note to talk to the man.

Deciding it was way past time for ice cream, she walked into the kitchen and fixed herself a scoop of butter pecan. Easing into the kitchen chair, she took a bite of the ice cream. Moaning, she closed her eyes and sat back. Some things never change, she thought to herself happily.

Dylan wrapped his arms around her, whispering in her ear, "Was that for the ice cream or where you thinking about me?"

Smiling, though she didn't open her eyes, Brenda said, "Both?"

"Good answer," he said huskily, brushing his lips against her ear. A frisson of warmth swept through her body.

"I thought you'd like that," she said, smiling.

"I like you," he told her, kissing her neck.

Opening her eyes, Brenda offered Dylan a spoonful of ice cream. "Ah, the good stuff," he said, eating it. Taking her hand, he sat in the chair beside her. "How're you doing Bren?" he asked,___surreptitiously looking at her face. He always worried about her after the physical therapist left. While Sandy was in the apartment, Dylan would go to the guest room and work on his writing. He'd stayed in the room the first few times Sandy had come over and he'd driven both women crazy, worrying about the amount of work Brenda was doing. _

_She sighed. "I'm tired, but that's nothing new."_

_"You're pushing yourself too hard," he told her. _

_She rolled her eyes. "You sound like Sandy." She gave him another bite of her ice cream. _

_"It's true. You should be taking it easy."_

_"Dylan, I have too much to do to take it easy," she told him. _

_He shook his head. "That's why you have all of us," he said, referring to her family and friends. "We're here to help you. We __want __to help you. You don't have to do any of this alone." _

_"I already owe you guys so much," she said. "I hate that you are all having to do your own stuff as well as mine. It's not fair to anyone."_

_An annoyed look crossing his face, Dylan interrupted her. "You don't owe anyone anything, Bren. And no one would do it if it was too much. Helping out is what friends do."_

_"Mmm," Brenda murmured, refusing to acknowledge the truth in his words. _

_They sat in silence for a moment, eating the ice cream. Dylan never took his eyes off of her face. He was looking for hints of pain or weakness, but he also enjoyed just watching her. Brenda, realizing he was staring at her, crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue. Laughing, they both got up from the table. She put the bowl in the sink and turned around, straight into Dylan's arms. He held her for a moment and she let her weight sink into him. He was so solid and warm; he seemed so strong. Brenda knew he was still hurting over Sammy, but he hid it well. _

_"Let's go lie down for a few minutes," Brenda said, exhaustion in her voice. _

_They walked to her bedroom and laid down, her head on his arm, facing each other. Dylan had been staying with her since she got back from the hospital, sleeping in the guest room. Having him around was an amazing comfort, one Brenda had almost forgotten about. "Thanks for being here for me, Dylan," she told him._

_"I'll always be here for you Brenda," he promised. _

_"You have sweet smelling breath," she told him, laughing. _

_"You have sweet looking lips," he told her, smiling. "And I…well, I happen to have a sweet tooth." He kissed her, softly touching their lips together. When he pulled back she laughed slightly, leaning forward to kiss him. Her tongue traced his lips and it was Dylan's turn to groan. "Bren," he said, warning her. _

_Giggling, feeling like a teenager, Brenda laid her head back down on his arm. _

_"I missed this," Dylan told her, looking into her eyes. _

_Brenda nodded her head slightly. She traced Dylan's jaw with her fingertips, moving to his lips. He closed his eyes as she ran the pad of her thumb across his bottom lip. She had missed this too, she thought. She'd missed being able to touch him, to watch his eyes dance when he was teasing her, to have him hold her close. When he'd left London, she cried every night, having never felt so cold and alone. _

_"Ah, Bren," Dylan said, kissing a tear as it ran down her face. She hadn't realized she'd been crying. _

_He gathered her closer, mindful of her wound. Neither spoke. _

_After a while, Brenda's cell phone rang. Recognizing Brandon's ringtone, Dylan asked Brenda, "Do you want me to get it?"_

_"I'll call him back," she said. Brandon had come back to the hospital the other night very quiet. While Dylan had gone to get coffee, Brandon had told Brenda about riding to Kelly's house with her. Brenda recognized the indecision on her brother's face and it tore at her heart. She knew that he still had strong feelings for Kelly and couldn't figure out what to do about them. Brenda was unable to help him, her own feelings for Kelly confused. _

_"Dylan," she said, "have you thought anymore about talking to Kelly about Sammy?"_

_Dylan rolled over onto his back, facing the ceiling. "No."_

_Brenda put her hand on his chest. "What are you going to do?"_

_"I'm not sure. I want to see Sammy." He looked at Brenda, bringing his hand up to hold hers. "I know he's not my son, but I still love him like he was."_

_Brenda nodded, understanding. Dylan would always love Sammy; those were the types of feelings that didn't go away. "I know you do." _

_"Do you think Steve is going to-" he cut off, swallowing. "Do you think Steve is going to be a good father for him?"_

_Brenda's heart hurt for Dylan. "Even though Steve acted like a complete idiot in this situation, he's a good guy, Dylan. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be a part of Sammy's life, too."_

_Dylan nodded, staring down at their joined hands. "I know that it probably sounds crazy, but I still want to be a part of his life." He looked at Brenda. "And I want him to be a part of mine."_

_"No matter what you decide," she said, kissing him on the cheek, "I'm with you."_


	25. Chapter 25

"After you, sir," Brandon said, holding the door to the Peach Pit open for Dylan.

"Thank you, Jones," Dylan told his friend with a salute. Dylan hadn't realized Brandon would be here, but was happy to see him. They hadn't really gotten a chance to talk much lately.

"How's Bren?" Brandon asked him. He'd been at the theater earlier but he'd missed seeing his sister by a few minutes. She was working part time, though she probably shouldn't be. Like always, Brenda refused to listen to anyone.

"She's good," Dylan told him. "She's with Addy and your mom. I think she's ready for Addy to come back home."

"Home, huh?" Brandon said, eyeing his friend. He started walking in the door.

"You got a problem with that?" Dylan asked him, half serious.

Brandon stopped walking. "Is this a serious conversation?"

Still in the doorway of the Peach Pit, the men stared at one another.

Dylan looked down, then back up at Brandon. "I love her Brandon. I always have."

"What you've always done, Dylan, is hurt her." Before Dylan could say anything he continued. "I know that you've been here for her since the shooting. You have no idea how much it means to me that you've done all that you've done. And I see the way you look at her. I _know_ you love her, I've always known. So has everyone else. But in the past that's not been enough. Not to mention all the crap you've put her and Kelly through."

At the mention of Kelly Dylan straightened. "I know I used Kelly. I felt bad for it. I apologized to her." At Brandon's look, Dylan said, "An apology is all I've got. There's nothing more I can do, and I meant it when I said it." He looked out the door, upset.

Brandon sighed. Brenda had talked to Brandon about Dylan and Sammy. As upset has he'd been with Dylan in the past, he would have never wished such a thing on anyone. "I still can't believe what Kelly did to you." Brandon looked at his friend, saw the pain in his eyes. "About that, man," he said, putting his hand on Dylan's shoulder, "I'm really sorry."

Dylan nodded. "Me too, B."

Brandon studied him. "I love my sister. I've not always been there for her when she needed me, and I'm not going to let that happen again."

"When I thought I was going to lose her-" Dylan swallowed, taking a deep breath. "I've wasted so much time, Brandon. I can't lose her now. I need her."

The men looked at each other for a moment. Brandon had no doubt that Dylan truly loved his sister. He could tell in the way Dylan spoke to her and in the way he looked at her. Sometimes when watching them Brandon missed Kate so much he'd have to leave the room. He knew what it was like to love someone with all of your heart and how much it hurt when you lost them. He loved Dylan like a brother and he truly wanted things to work out for him and Brenda. He couldn't stop worrying that things hadn't really changed, though. "Dylan," Brandon started.

"I have to be with your sister, Brandon," Dylan said determinedly. "I've tried to live without her and I can't do it. I won't do it."

Brandon watched his friend. Finally, nodding, he said, "Be good to her, Dylan. I'd hate to have to bury you in the backyard you admire so much."

Dylan smiled, breathing a sigh of relief. What he'd said was true; he had to be with Brenda. But it would have been hard on Bren to have Brandon against the relationship. He admitted to himself that it would be hard on him too. He loved Brandon and wanted to be close to him again. Dylan put his arms around Brandon's shoulders and they walked through the door.

Both men stopped after entering the eatery, taking in the newest makeover. The Peach Pit was always changing, it seemed. Brandon wasn't sure he liked it. Dylan, as if reading his thoughts, said, "Man, this place keeps changing." From his tone, Brandon could tell he was bothered by the newest changes too. Since Dylan had turned over complete ownership of both the Pit and the After Dark to Nat, he'd not been in either building. Now he was thinking he'd been gone way too long.

Both men stood in the entrance, unsure about where they should go; Nat had done away with the counter years ago. "Boys!" a voice called from inside the restaurant. Nat came up to both men, hugging them.

"Nat!" the men said in unison, returning his hug.

Pulling away, Nat studied them, smiling. "Look at you! All grown up. Come in, come in, let's have a seat and you can tell me all about yourselves."

Dylan cocked his head toward Brandon, who smiled and shrugged. It would be good to catch up with Nat. He couldn't believe he'd gone for so long without talking to someone who had been like a father to him.

Getting a table toward the back, Brandon noticed how busy the restaurant was. The Peach Pit had come a long way. "I almost didn't recognize you, it's been so long," Nat told them.

"Too long," Brandon told his old friend.

"So boys, what's new? Brandon, how's your dad?"

"He's doing pretty well," Brandon told him. "His granddaughters are keeping him busy."

"I bet! I need to meet them. Cindy's shown me pictures, gorgeous girls. How's your sister?"

Brandon looked at Dylan, who cleared his throat. "She's doing really well."

Nat raised his eyebrows. "You and Brenda?" he asked, shocked. Dylan smiled and nodded. "Well I'll be damned!" the older man said. "That's the best news I've heard this year!"

"I thought so too," Dylan said, looking at Brandon.

Nat looked over at Brandon. "Are you good with this?"

"I'm working on it," Brandon told the man. Dylan nodded to him, acknowledging the fact that Brandon was going to try to support his relationship with Brenda.

The three spent the next hour catching up. Nat was visibly upset about the news of Brenda being shot. It took both men repeatedly assuring him that she was fine to calm him down. Dylan told Nat that Cindy was actually bringing Brenda to the Peach Pit later to meet him and that Nat could see for himself that she was doing much better. Only then did Nat seem to relax.

Dylan asked how business was and Nat told him it was thriving. Even so, money was tight. Nat told them that he was wanting to retire but couldn't afford to right now. The newest remodeling had cost a small fortune and he was having to work a lot of overtime. Nat was getting older, slower and less able to handle the stress. He'd had another, smaller, heart attack a year ago. While Brandon and Dylan were eating he was called away to solve a waitressing crisis. "It's always something, boys," he murmured to them, getting up slowly. "Let me know when Brenda and Cindy get here, okay? Love you both," he said, kissing the foreheads of both men.

After Nat left the table, Brandon and Dylan looked at each other. Brandon laughed and Dylan smiled. "So are we buying it?" Dylan asked Brandon, his eyebrow cocked.

Brandon sat back in his seat and smiled at his old friend. "Didn't you always figure we would?"

"I already did," Dylan pointed out. "Twice."

Brandon laughed. "But together," he said, "is how it was really always supposed to be."

Dylan thought about it for a moment. Then he smiled. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Just one thing," he told Brandon.

"Yeah?"

"We've got to bring the counter back, man."


	26. Chapter 26

Brenda got out of Donna's car slowly, refusing David's offer of help. Ignoring his eye roll, she hid the shock of pain she felt when her shoulder brushed the car frame. Getting angry with herself for still being so weak, she shut the door harder than she needed to.

"Easy, killer, the car is your friend," David told her.

She thought about hitting him but figured it would hurt too much. She knew that part of what had her so upset was the plans she'd made for tonight. There was a good chance that all of her friends (her brother included) would leave the Peach Pit angry with her. Though she couldn't blame them, she felt like she had to do something to bring everyone back together. They were more than friends; they were family. They'd been away from each other for too long and it was time for things to be set straight.

While at the Walsh house, Brenda and Cindy had talked about how the gang had fallen apart. Deciding that she needed to do something, she'd called Donna and discussed her idea. Donna, the peacemaker, was immediately on board. Donna and David had come by to get her, leaving Ruby with Cindy. Addy, Kassie and Ruby had been finger painting with pudding when Brenda and her friends left.

"Are they coming?" Brenda asked Donna, walking around the car.

"They said they were," Donna told her. "And Brandon is already here with Dylan?"

Brenda nodded. "I called Dylan earlier and he said that he and Brandon were eating." Growing more uneasy, she looked at her friend. "Are we crazy for doing this?"

Donna linked her fingers through Brenda's. "It's going to work out, Bren."

David, walking behind them, put his hands lightly on their shoulders. "Can't get any worse, right?"

"That's one way to look at it," Brenda said, nervously fearing he was wrong. It could get a lot worse; Dylan could leave again.

Walking in the Peach Pit, it took the three a moment to get their bearings. "Wow," Donna breathed, looking around.

"What happened to the Peach Pit?" David asked, looking around. Whereas the old Peach Pit was quaint, simple and friendly, the new Peach Pit was chic and unfamiliar.

"It's different from the last time I was here, and that wasn't too long ago," Brenda commented.

"Brenda!" Nat called, hurrying to her. Putting his hands gently on her shoulders, he looked into her eyes. "Are you okay?"

Brenda smiled at one of her favorite people in the world. "I'm getting better every day," she told him, kissing him on the cheek.

"Nat!" Donna said, hugging the man.

"Donna! David! Oh, my kids!" Nat said, hugging them both. His eyes glittered with tears. "It's so good to have you back here. This place ain't the same without you all."

"Aw, Nat," David said, smiling. "Don't get them to crying. They'll never stop."

Talking, Nat took them to the table Brandon and Dylan were at. Seeing Dylan, Brenda's heart sped up. When he looked at her and smiled, it melted. He stood and walked over to her. "Bren," he murmured, kissing her forehead. Please let this work, she thought to herself.

"Nat is getting us a bigger table, since there's more of us now," Brenda told him and Brandon.

"I've eaten already," Brandon started, then noticed Brenda's disappointed expression and quickly said, "but I could probably handle some pie."

"Me too," Dylan said, after greeting Donna and David. The small group followed Nat to a private back room with a large table.

"Hey, Nat, this is too big," Dylan protested.

Looking at Brenda, who had informed him of her plans, Nat said, "You kids need some privacy to catch up." Winking at Donna, he took their orders and left.

Brandon had caught both the look and the wink. "Brenda," he said warningly.

Smiling innocently, Brenda looked at her brother. "Brandon," she mimicked, laughing.

The five friends discussed the theater group, London and Wyoming, all the while staying away from the topic of children. They were all mindful of Dylan's feelings and didn't want to bring up a subject that might cause him pain. David spent some time trying to convince Dylan and Brandon to come to the studio and listen to his music.

While Brandon and the Silver's discussed Japan- Brandon and Kate had visited the country before Kassie was born- Brenda put her head on Dylan's shoulder. "You tired babe?" he asked her, rubbing her arm.

"I am," she admitted. She looked up at him, studying his face. "I need to tell you something."

"Shoot."

"Having you around has made me realize how much I need you." Staring into his eyes, she took a deep breath. "Dylan, I-"

"What is this?" a voice said from the door.

"Kelly," Donna said, standing up.

Brenda looked at Dylan, who closed his eyes. "Brenda," he said lowly. "You didn't."

Kelly, still standing in the doorway, paled. "Donna, I thought you said I was meeting you and David."

Brenda looked up and found Kelly staring at her, confused. "I asked Donna to call you, Kelly," Brenda told her.

Brandon sighed. "Shouldn't you have said something Bren?"

Looking at him, Brenda admitted, "I thought you would leave if I told you." She turned back around to look at Dylan. He glared at her.

"Why would you do this Brenda?"

"Dylan, we all need to talk," Brenda said. Before she could say more, Steve walked in behind Kelly.

"Uh," he stammered, "I, uh…" Looking uncomfortable, he stopped talking and watched Dylan.

Brenda slowly got up from the table, refusing to let her knees give out. She'd done way too much today and hoped that she had the strength to finish what she'd started. "Kelly, Steve," she said, motioning to two empty chairs, "let's talk."

"Brenda," Steve said, "I don't know if that's such a good idea."

Dylan hadn't looked at the newcomers, instead putting his head down and working on getting his breathing under control. Anger welled up inside him, so much that his hands were shaking.

David got up and pulled out the chairs. "This wasn't just Brenda's idea," he said to the group, though he was directing it toward Dylan. "Donna and I agreed that it's past time for us to talk and figure out where we go from here."

Kelly looked at Brandon, raising her eyebrows. He shrugged, and she and Steve walked to the seats and sat down. Everyone was quiet for a moment.

Brenda looked at Steve. She hadn't seen him for a while and was shocked at how tired he looked. He seemed miserable. As angry as she was at him, she knew that Steve was suffering too. "Steve, I never really thanked you for saving my life," Brenda told him. "Thank you."

Steve nodded. "I was afraid we were going to lose you, Bren," he told her. "I'm just glad you're still here."

Kelly had been looking down. "I wish I knew what to say," she said, looking up, "to all of you. I just don't know what it would be. I've been such an awful friend…I wouldn't blame any of you for never wanting to speak to me again. Especially you two," she said looking at Brenda and Dylan.

"Dylan, I never meant to hurt you," Steve told him. "By the time I found out that Sammy was mine, he was already a year old."

Dylan turned to stare at the man. "That leaves three years that you could have told me, Steve."

"I asked him not to," Kelly told Dylan. "Every time we talked, he begged me to reconsider." She looked at the rest of her friends, then back at Dylan. "I just didn't want anyone to know how terribly I'd messed up."

"Perfect Kelly," Dylan said sarcastically. Kelly winced, looking toward the door. Brenda put her hand over Dylan's but he jerked it away. "So now what? We all hold hands and sing Kumbaya?"

"I can go get a keyboard," David said.

"Please, Silver, we're trying to make peace, not disturb it," Brandon told him.

Donna rolled her eyes at them. "I love all of you guys," Donna told the table. "I want us to be friends again."

"I want that too," Steve said, looking at Dylan.

"Brenda, will you ever be able to forgive me?" Kelly asked her friend.

Dylan looked at Brenda. She reached up to touch his face with her fingers. He didn't move, keeping his eyes on hers. She knew that what she said now could push him away. "Dylan, I want us to be close again," she told him. "All of us." She started to say more, but he jerked his face away.

Standing up, Dylan looked hard at Kelly and Steve. "I trusted you both and you've taken away one of the most important parts of my life." The table was quiet. Dylan closed his eyes. "I can't do this." He walked out, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Brenda started to stand but Steve stopped her. "I'll go."

Kelly was crying quietly. David reached out and took her hand. "It's going to be okay, Kel," he told her.

Looking at the ceiling, Kelly let the tears run down her face. "I guess it's time to let it all out." She looked at David. "I love you like you really are my brother, David. I haven't been there for you like I should have been." She looked at Donna. "For either of you. You were always so in love and so happy. I had made myself so miserable. When you two looked at each other, I felt like something was stabbing my heart." She smiled through her tears. "And when you started having problems…oh God," she said, closing her eyes, "I was almost happy. It meant that I wasn't alone anymore."

"Kelly, why didn't you just say something? I had no idea you were so unhappy," Donna told her.

"Me either," David said.

Kelly laughed weakly. "What would have happened? You would have stopped looking at each other? You would have stopped being in love? That's silly," she told them.

"We could have talked about it, Kelly," Donna told her. "We could have figured something out."

"Yeah, well, I'm not very good at talking about how I feel," Kelly said. "It makes me sound like a spiteful, awful woman." She looked at Brandon. "I don't want to be that person," she said, "but I think I am."

"Kelly," Brandon told her, getting up and moving beside her. "You're not awful." He looked at Brenda.

"Kelly, from the moment I met you, I knew exactly what kind of woman you were," Brenda told her. "Silly, frivolous, catty…"

"Brenda!" Brandon said, shocked.

"…warm, outgoing, caring," Brenda continued. "You're a mixed bag, Kelly, but so's the rest of us. No one is all one way or the other. You are a jealous person. Don't look at me like that, Brandon, she is!" Brenda said at the appalled look Brandon gave her. She looked at Kelly. "But that's not all you are, Kelly. You go out of your way to help people. You're a great mother."

"Kelly, if you have a problem, the last thing you should be worried about is how we'll feel about you if you tell us about it," David told her. "We've known you for years, through good times and bad. We love you through it all."

"We do," Donna told her.

Kelly put her hands to her face and cried into them. "Hey, Kel, come on," Brandon said.

"It's just, I never expected you all to be able to forgive me for the way I felt." She raised her head, looking at her friends. "It seems that you're better friends than me."

David rubbed her back, smiling. "Of course we are."

"David," Brenda and Donna sighed together.

Kelly looked at Brandon. "Do you forgive me, Brandon? After everything?"

Brandon looked at Brenda, then at Kelly. "I could have been a better friend too, Kel. I feel like I've let you down."

Whatever Kelly was going to say was drowned out by the entrance of Andrea. "Sorry I'm late," she told them, looking around the room. Sighing, she said, "Crap, I missed it all, didn't I?"


	27. Chapter 27

"Dylan!" Steve called before his friend reached his car.

Dylan stopped walking but didn't turn around. "Not a good time Steve," he warned the other man.

Steve sighed, coming to a stop beside Dylan. "It's never going to be a good time."

"Probably not," Dylan agreed through clenched teeth.

"Think you'll ever be able to forgive me?"

Dylan looked over at his friend. "How could you not tell me Steve?"

Steve looked away from Dylan and shrugged. "I wanted to. I tried to. Remember a couple of years ago when I called you and we talked about the horses?"

Dylan nodded. He'd been surprised to hear from Steve; they'd not been in close contact for several years, though they'd parted as friends. Dylan, excited about a new horse he'd just bought for Sammy, had talked of little else. Looking back, he realized that at the beginning of the conversation Steve had mentioned needing to discuss something important. Because of his excitement, Dylan had dominated the conversation, forgetting Steve had said there was a reason for the call.

"You were so happy to have a son," Steve told him. "I just couldn't take that away from you." Dylan hung his head, shaking it. "I know I should have, man," Steve told him, putting his hand on Dylan's shoulder.

"I love him," Dylan told Steve, really looking at him for the first time. Steve recognized the pain in Dylan's eyes. "I know he's not my son, but I love him."

"I know," Steve told him. "And I know that he loves you too. Sammy still needs you, Dylan."

Dylan nodded. "What are we going to tell him?"

"Kelly can tell him, and we can both be there for him."

"Yeah, Kelly's real good at taking care of things," Dylan said sarcastically. "She's handled all of this really well."

"I know you don't want to hear about it, but Kelly's feeling pretty low," Steve said.

Dylan gave a short nod. "She should be."

Steve decided to leave it at that. "It seems like you and I are always fighting." Dylan made a sound of agreement. "Brandon is my best friend. For a while, he was my only friend. I didn't want you pulling him away from me," Steve admitted.

Dylan smiled slightly. "Those Walsh people," he said, looking at Steve.

"Those Walsh people," Steve repeated, smiling. Sobering, he looked at his friend. "You just ran out on two of those Walsh people." He put his hand on Dylan's shoulder. "They love you, man. Brenda loves you. This thing between us shouldn't get between you and her."

"I know," Dylan told him. "I couldn't breathe in there- I felt trapped. Had to get out for a minute." He looked back toward the Peach Pit. "I won't leave her."

"How's she doing? She looks like she's in pain. Well, she looks like she's trying to hide the fact that she's in pain," he corrected.

"She's doing too much," Dylan told him. "She won't take a break, just keeps pushing and pushing herself. She worries me."

"So, after all of these years, it's you and her?"

"It was always me and Brenda, no matter how much I tried to deny it." He looked at Steve. "It scares me." He let out a self depreciating chuckle. "It's always scared me."

Steve understood. "When Janet and I got together, it was the same way. It should be so easy, but it's not. I love her, and I would do anything for her. But life gets in the way and we both get scared." He looked at Dylan again. "We were arguing a lot and things were really bad. She cheated on me." Steve looked off, cleared his throat. "I wanted to die. I ran into Kelly here and we got to talking. She was upset over you," he gave Dylan a quick glance, "and we decided that we should both get mind numbingly drunk. I woke up in her bed." Rubbing his face with his hand he admitted, "I couldn't even remember how I got there."

The men were silent for a moment.

"Dylan?" Brenda called from the door.

He turned, immediately noticing the sweat beading her brow and her tight grip on the door handle. "Bren," he said, rushing toward her. Her knees gave out before he reached her but he caught her before she fell. Holding her, he sat on the ground. "Bren, baby," he said, cradling her. Pushing her hair from her face, he looked at Steve. "Get Brandon," he told his friend. Steve ran into the Peach Pit.

"Brenda?" Dylan said, searching her face. "Bren," he said, more urgently.

Brenda's eyes fluttered open. "Hey," she whispered.

"Hey," Dylan said, heart racing. "What's going on, Bren? Are you okay?"

She closed her eyes. "I'm just so tired," she admitted. "I'm not feeling very well."

"Should I take you to the hospital?"

"No," she told him. "I think we should probably go home, though."

Dylan leaned close, putting their foreheads together. He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, Bren," he told her. "I acted like a jerk in there. I was just upset."

She kissed him softly. "I know. I'm sorry, too. I should have told you."

Pulling back, Dylan kissed her forehead. "When you get to feeling better I'll let you make it up to me," he told her, smiling. She smiled back at him.

"Brandon," Steve said, throwing open the door to the private room, "Brenda needs you." Without saying more, Steve left the room, rushing back toward Dylan and Brenda. Brandon and the others followed close behind.

Reaching the couple, Brandon kneeled down beside them. "What's going on? Bren, are you okay?"

Brenda tried to sit up but was just too exhausted. She sighed. "I'm just tired, I think."

"Are we taking her to the hospital?" he asked Dylan, concerned.

"She said we should just go home," Dylan told Brandon. The look he gave Brandon made it clear that he disagreed with her.

"Bren, maybe you should just get checked out," Brandon told his sister, looking at her.

She moaned softly. "I'm too tired to go to the hospital. Dylan can keep an eye on me at the house," she said pleadingly.

The men nodded at each other. Dylan rose carefully, trying not to jar Brenda. "My keys are in my pocket, B, grab them," he told his friend. After getting Brenda in the car and buckled, he turned toward his friends.

"I'm coming over," Brandon told his friend.

"We are too," Donna told him.

Dylan nodded. "Thanks guys." He walked to his door and opened it. "Hey Brandon, square us with Nat, will you? Tell him we'll come by next week, if that works for you and Brenda's doing better."

"I'll take care of it. We'll be there soon."

After Dylan left, Brandon went back inside the Pit. "Donna, call me and let me know how she is," Kelly pleaded.

"I will, Kel. Are you sure you won't come?" Kelly and Steve had both decided it would be best to not go to Brenda's.

"I'm sure," Kelly told her. "But I'm so worried…"

"Hey, call me too, okay?" Steve asked Donna.

"We will." Donna hugged them both. Walking off, Steve put his arm around Kelly's shoulders.

Andrea, who was waiting to ride with Brandon, watched them walk away. "I think things are going to be okay," she told David.

"I hope you're right," David told her, kissing Donna on the forehead. The three turned and walked toward the cars, each lost in their own thoughts.


	28. Chapter 28

Andrea laid her head on the seat rest. Looking over at Brandon, she studied him for a moment. He truly was her best friend; she hated to see him so upset. Deciding it was past time to break the silence, she said, "The Peach Pit has really changed, huh?"

Brandon frowned. "Yeah, it has. What do you think about it?"

"I liked it better the way it was when we were in school," Andrea admitted. "I know that it had to expand, but…" she trailed off. "It doesn't even seem like the Peach Pit anymore."

Brandon nodded, agreeing. "I think Dylan and I are going to buy it." He looked at Andrea to see her reaction.

"Brandon, that's great!" she said, excited. "You guys have to bring the counter back," she told him seriously.

Laughing, Brandon stopped at a red light. "That's Dylan's number one priority."

"So how are things with you guys?" Andrea asked him, studying his face.

"Surprisingly, they're good," he told her. He shrugged. "There's been so much bad, but I think everyone has finally grown up, you know?"

"I do know. I think that's wonderful. You two were always such good friends." Andrea smiled, pleased.

Brandon studied her. "You and I have always been such good friends." Andrea nodded. "Isn't it weird for you at all?"

Andrea sighed. "Brandon, we've talked about this. I love you. You love me. Neither of us is in love with the other."

"Couldn't we be?" he asked her.

Mouth open, Andrea stared at him for a moment. Still waiting for a green light, Brandon looked at her until a horn behind them called for his attention.

Andrea thought for a minute. "I know what this is," she said, finally. "I know exactly what this is."

Brandon shot her a quizzical look. "What is it?"

"You're still in love with Kelly!" Andrea said accusingly. "Ha! You _wish_ you were in love with me, because let's be honest, I'm awesome and I'm easy." She swatted his arm at the look he gave her. "Not "easy" easy, but easier to be in love with. You and Kelly have so much unresolved business, plus she almost killed your sister."

"Andrea," Brandon said warningly.

"Think about it, Brandon," Andrea insisted. "Today especially you've been dealing with emotions tied to Kelly. And all of a sudden you're wondering if you could ever be in love with me? Ha!" she said again, giving him a knowing look. "You're sunk, buddy."

"Give me a break Andrea," Brandon told her. "Why are you so against the idea of "us"?"

Andrea rolled her eyes. "Okay, Brandon, let's talk about "us" then." She leaned close to him, taking his hand. With her right hand, she reached over to check his heart rate.

"Hey, hey," Brandon fussed.

"Just as I suspected. Your heart rate didn't go up at all when I touched you. I bet it skyrockets when you see Kelly."

Annoyed, Brandon slapped her hand away, mumbling. "What was that?" Andrea asked him sweetly.

"I said I'm worried about Bren," he told her, though they both knew it was a lie. Now that he'd mentioned it, though, he really was.

"She really didn't look well," Andrea said softly. "I thought the doctor said she was doing better?"

"He did, that's why I'm so worried. What if it's a different infection or something?"  
Andrea thought about it for a moment. "Maybe she really is just pushing herself too hard. She's been doing a lot."

"I know. We've all talked to her about it, but she won't listen. She feels weak. She was just _shot_. We almost lost her. She can be weak for a little longer, dammit," he said, hitting the steering wheel.

Andrea put her hand on his arm. "We'll just have to talk to her," Andrea looked out the window. "When she's up to it."

"I just hope that's sometime soon," Brandon told her. Putting his left hand over Andrea's hand on his arm, he squeezed it. "Thanks, Chief," he told her, bringing her hand up to his mouth and kissing it. "You truly are amazing."

Andrea smiled at him, squeezing back. "I know. I'm just glad Jesse finally remembered too."

"How's that going?" he asked her.

"We're working on it. We have a lot of problems, but we really do make a great team." Andrea looked out the window. "I love him. It's crazy, but I love him." She looked over at her friend. "And we both love Hannah. It's going to work," she said firmly.

Brandon believed her. He knew that when Andrea made a decision, she found a way to make it work. "Did you tell him about…you know, did you tell him about the thing…"

Andrea chuckled. "Brandon. You can't even say it. And no, I didn't. I don't ask him about what he's done, he doesn't ask me. When we're together, we're together. And that's how it's going to work."

"Sounds good to me," Brandon told her, meaning it.

Pulling up at the parking lot for Brenda's apartment, they saw Dylan moving around his car. Brandon hurriedly unfastened his seat belt and got out, jogging over to Dylan. Andrea followed, walking up as Dylan said, "And she hasn't woken up at all."

"Let me see her," Brandon said, moving past Dylan and opening Brenda's door. She was reclined slightly in the seat, breathing evenly. Brandon brushed her forehead with his hand, checking for signs of fever. Brenda sighed and sleepily swatted at his hand. Standing back up, he looked at Dylan. "Do you think we should take her up or to the hospital?"

Dylan, torn, looked at Andrea. "What do you think, Andrea?"

Watching Brenda, Andrea said, "I think that she's just sleeping. We should take her up, make sure she's comfortable, and be prepared to get her to the hospital if we need to."

Both men nodded. Dylan handed Brandon his keys, showing him the one for the apartment and asking him to open the door when they got to it. Carefully lifting Brenda out of the car, he walked her into the apartment complex. Andrea walked behind them to make sure no one dropped anything.

Dylan laid Brenda gently in the bed, pushing extra pillows out of the way. She didn't have a fever, but he knew something was wrong. He sat on the bed, holding her hand, watching her. She seemed to be resting easily, but he worried anyway.

"Dylan?" Brandon said softly from the bedroom doorway. Dylan looked up at his friend. "Are you okay?"

Dylan realized tears were falling down his face. "I just need a few, B, okay?"

Nodding, Brandon moved out of the doorway, shutting the door to give them some privacy.


	29. Chapter 29

Dylan walked out of the bedroom and shut the door quietly, then put his head against it. He'd thought Brenda was doing so well, but now…now he was scared. He had called her doctor's phone service from the bedroom and made her an appointment for next Monday. He hoped that wasn't too far away. It killed him not knowing what was going on with her; if he didn't know what it was, he couldn't fix it.

"Hey, Dylan, how is she?" Donna asked from the front of the hallway.

Raising his head, he looked at her. "She seems to be resting. Maybe she really was just exhausted."

Donna walked to him and took his hand. "Do you think she's pushing herself too hard?"

"I know she is. But you know Bren," he shook his head.

Donna smiled slightly. "I do know Bren," she agreed. She looked at Dylan for a moment. "How are you, Dylan? I know that you've been dealing with a lot too."

Dylan leaned back against the door. "I think I'm going to be okay. As long as Brenda is getting better, I'll make it. As for the other…" He laughed lowly. "I guess I should have known Sammy wasn't mine. He's too perfect. Any kid of mine would probably be screwed up."

"Dylan, you stop that right now. Just because Sammy isn't actually your son doesn't mean that you're not an important part of his life. He thinks you're his father, and he loves you like you are. This is going to be hard on all of you, but you're still going to be a part of his life and you're going to be great."

Dylan cocked his eyebrow at Donna. "Yes, ma'am," he said with a mock salute, smiling.

"So…" she said. "You and Bren are…"

"Together. Finally," Dylan finished for her.

Donna smiled. "You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that. Brenda is my best friend and I know how hard things have been for you guys. And now you'll have Addy too!" After she said it, Donna wished she could take it back. She had no idea how receptive Dylan was to the idea of being a step father, especially after losing Sammy as his son. "I mean…"

Noticing her horrified expression, Dylan smiled. "I love Addy. She's a sweetheart. Brenda and I haven't talked about it, but I think it's just understood that she and Addy are now a part of my life. And maybe it's best for everyone, you know? I had always said I didn't want to have a child because of the things I might pass on and where I was in my life. But with Addy, I can be a part of her life, her family, and not have to worry about any of that." His grin grew wider. "Have you seen her smile? Brenda's going to need all the help she can get beating the boys back when Addy gets older. I'm up for it."

"I think you'll be a wonderful father, Dylan." When Dylan shrugged, Donna looked straight in his eyes. "I mean it," she said.

"Thanks, Donna," he told her, pulling her in for a hug. "It's good to be back here, isn't it?"

Donna thought about her time in Japan. She had loved the culture, the people, the fast paced life. But it had never been home; something was always missing. "So good," she told him, agreeing.

"Dylan, you do know Donna and I are married, right?" David said from behind her. Laughing quietly and pulling away from Dylan, Donna looked back at her husband. "We were thinking about ordering a pizza," David told them, walking to Donna and putting his arm around her. "You guys in?"

"Always," Donna told him, reaching up to kiss his cheek. "Dylan?" she said, looking at him.

"Sure," Dylan told them, walking toward the living room.

Andrea was on the phone and looked up when Dylan walked in the room. She gave him a thumbs up sign with a questioning look. He nodded and she said into the phone, "And one last pizza."

Dylan sat in the kitchen by Brandon. At his look, Dylan said, "She's still sleeping." He hung his head, rubbing his face with his hands. "I'm going crazy, Brandon."

Brandon watched his friend. "You're really worried, huh?"

"I just can't figure out what's wrong with her. According to the doctor, she should be getting better, not worse. I'm hoping she really does just need some rest." He looked at Brandon. "We've got to make her slow down, if it's hurting her so much. She's got to listen."

Brandon sighed. "Brenda doesn't listen very well. We'll try though." He put his hand on Dylan's shoulder. "We'll help her through this."

David sat with them. Looking at the man, Brandon noticed the dark circles under his eyes. "How are you and Donna holding up?"

David looked back to see where Donna was, then leaned toward the other two men. "Donna would kill me for saying anything, but we're both running on empty. I don't know how Brenda handles all of this theater stuff by herself. The people she found are really good at what they do, it's just…figuring out what to tell them to do."

"I'm going to come by more often," Brandon told him. "Even though I know nothing about that type of stuff, there has to be things I can do to help."

"Did you talk to Nat?" Dylan asked Brandon.

"He cried tears of joy," Brandon told the man.

"What?" David asked, confused.

"Young Mr. Silver, you are looking at the new owners of the Peach Pit, as well as the After Dark."

David smiled. "I think everyone has owned it now."

"Some more than others," Dylan said dryly. All three laughed.

"What's going on?" Donna said, coming to sit in David's lap.

"These guys bought the Peach Pit and the After Dark from Nat," David told her.

"Oh, how exciting! I think everyone has owned it now."

"So I hear," Brandon told her. He looked at the Silver's and said, "I want to thank you guys for what you've done to help Bren. Without you, I don't think we could have kept the theater open."

"Don't worry about it Brandon, it's no problem," Donna told him. David looked at Brandon knowingly.

"Pizza's are ordered," Andrea told the group, coming in and sitting in the last chair. "Beats cooking."

"Amen," Brandon, Donna and Dylan said in unison.

"Andrea, how's Hannah?" Donna asked.

"She's doing really well," Andrea told her, smiling. "Her blood counts are good and her energy is up." Her smile slipped. "But I always worry, every time we go to the doctor, that it's going to be back." Andrea's voice broke and she looked down.

Dylan rubbed her back. Donna put her hand over Andrea's. "If that ever happens," David told her, "we'll just have to be there for her and help her find the strength to beat it."

"Thanks guys," Andrea said, looking at them. "This is something that I'm going to have to deal with for the rest of my life. Some nights I can't even sleep, thinking about it. It's so hard to put on my happy face for Hannah when all I want to do is grab her and hug her and cry." The table was silent for a moment. "Sorry," Andrea told them. "I didn't mean to bring everyone down."

Dylan sat back. "Thinking about you and Hannah and worrying about Brenda has really helped me realize how much time I've wasted and how little time we could have left. What have I been doing the past few years?"

David looked up at Donna. "Yeah, I wasted so much time being angry. I didn't even know why I was mad." Donna leaned down and kissed him. "I'm not wasting any more," he said, looking into her eyes.

"It seems like we should all still be kids," Brandon said. "I don't know how we got to this point. Brenda leaving," he shook his head. "It was like the beginning of the end for us. Does that make sense?"

"And now she's brought us all back together," Donna said. "Where we're supposed to be."

"Now all I have to do is get better," Brenda said, walking into the kitchen. She walked over to Dylan and sat in his lap, putting her arm around him. "Sorry, love," she told him, kissing him on the forehead. Dylan hugged her, resting his head on her chest.

"How are you feeling Bren?" Brandon asked her.

"I'm feeling a little better. I can't figure out what's wrong with me. I should be getting stronger, not weaker." She shrugged.

"I called and checked on the girls," Brandon told her. "Mom said they're all asleep."

Brenda nodded. "I miss Addy," she said sadly. Dylan rubbed her arm. "I miss work, too. Have any of you talked to Val?"

"I talked to her at the theater earlier. She was leaving around 6 for the airport. She seemed pretty excited," David told her.

"Rick's going to flip," Brenda said, smiling. "He misses her so much." Rolling her head around, she sighed. "I will get better," she told her friends determinedly.

"I know you will Bren," Dylan told her. "And until you do, you need to listen to us and stop pushing yourself too hard."

Brenda rolled her eyes. "I'm not even doing much," she protested. She looked to Donna for help, but Donna just shrugged.

"Something's not right," Donna told her. "Maybe you really are pushing yourself too hard."

Brenda groaned. "Maybe the doctor can fix me," she said hopefully.

While they ate pizza the group discussed the theater group and made plans for a play date at the park. Brenda seemed to be fine, if a little tired. Dylan watched her laugh and talk, trying to find some sign of what could be causing her to remain so weak. After everyone left, he pulled her to the couch. She laid on top of him, her head resting on his chest.

"I need to tell you something," she told him after they'd laid in silence for a while, raising her head to look into his eyes.

Steeling himself, Dylan looked at her. "Okay."

"I love you, Dylan," she said softly.

Dylan closed his eyes. Wrapping his arms around her tightly, he pulled her head down to his for a kiss. He'd prayed that one day Brenda would be able to forgive him and let him back into her life. "Brenda," he said, trying to say more but not able to over the lump in his throat.

She smiled, laying her head back on his chest. "It's okay," she told him. "I know."


	30. Chapter 30

"Damn, damn, damn!" she said, sticking her finger in her mouth. Of _course_ she got a paper cut.

"Damn, damn," Ruby cried happily, running through the room.

Donna groaned. David came in behind Ruby, trying to hide his smile. "Ruby, baby," Donna said, picking up the little girl, "mommy said a bad word."

Ruby put both of her hands on Donna's cheeks. Looking into her mothers eyes and smiling she said, "Damn!"

David, laughing, sat down. "I'm glad Felice isn't here."

Donna stuck her tongue out at him, which Ruby promptly copied. "Ruby Silver," Donna told the little girl, laughing, "you've got to stop doing everything your mama does!"

"Noooo," the little girl said, laughing.

Kissing her daughter and setting her down, Donna turned to David. "Thanks for the help," she told him, smiling.

"You looked like you had it under control. Come here," he told her.

Donna walked over to the couch. "Look," she told David, showing him her finger. "Paper cut. It was terrible. Horrible. I'm not sure I'll ever get over it."

Ruby climbed into David's lap. "I kiss, I kiss," she said, placing a sloppy kiss on her mother's injured finger.

"Well now it's all better!" Donna said, hugging her baby girl. Giggling happily, Ruby climbed down from the couch and starting playing on the floor. Donna sighed, leaning back against David.

"Do you need me to kiss it too?" David asked her.

"Maybe. I have other things that need attention as well," she told him coquettishly.

"Where should I start?"

Donna brought her cut finger to her lips and David slowly leaned in to kiss her. "Is that better?" he asked her lowly.

"Mmm, maybe a little more," Donna told him, smiling.

While David was kissing her the phone rang. David groaned as Donna reached to answer it. "Hello?" Listening for a moment, she said, "Sure, Dylan, that's fine. Okay, yeah. See you in a few. Okay, bye!"

"Please tell me that Dylan McKay is not coming over right now."

"Okay," Donna said, smiling. "I won't tell you. You can be surprised when the doorbell rings."

"Donna," David groaned. "I wanted us to spend some time together…alone."

"He probably won't stay long, David. He sounded kind of upset."

"_I'm _kind of upset," David told her, reaching for her.

Letting herself be pulled against him, Donna kissed his neck. "Well," she told him between kisses, "he won't be here forever."

Closing his eyes, David said, "Promise?" Laughing, Donna kissed her husband and sat back to watch her daughter play. Dylan rang the doorbell a few minutes later.

When Donna let Dylan in David scooped Ruby up and told her it was bath time. "Want to say good night to Dylan?" David asked the little girl.

"G'night Dywan!" Ruby said happily, hugging the man. Surprised, Dylan laughed.

Still smiling, Dylan looked at Donna. "You're going to have trouble with that one."

Looking at the door they'd went through, Donna laughed. "I'm already having trouble!" Walking over to the couch she sat. "Come on over here, Dylan, tell me what's up."

Dylan sat down and thought for a moment. "I hate to bother you guys," he started. "I know how busy you both are, especially since you're doing some of Brenda's work too."

"Dylan, if something's wrong, you can always talk to us."

"It's just…I'm not sure what's going on with Bren. Have you noticed anything weird about how she's been acting?"

Donna thought about it. After the night she'd passed out at the Peach Pit, she seemed to have started feeling a little better. While working together, Donna had noticed how distracted Brenda had been though. "She's been a little distant," Donna told Dylan slowly. "But I'm sure it's just because she's got so much work to do."

"I don't know, Donna," Dylan said, shaking his head. "The night she passed out she told me that she loved me." He looked at his friend. "I couldn't even say it back I was so choked up, but she told me that she understood, that she knew I loved her. Since then, though, she's been really remote. Almost cold." He looked into Donna's eyes. "Not like herself at all."

Donna nodded thoughtfully. "When I was talking to her earlier I had to repeat what I was trying to tell her twice. Her mind was obviously somewhere else."

"I haven't seen her smile in days." Dylan rubbed his hands together. "Not a real smile. Even when Valerie got back, her smile seemed forced."

"You guys are going to the doctor tomorrow, right?" Donna asked him.

Dylan sat back on the couch, looking at Donna. "She doesn't want me to go," he said, confused.

"Really? But you've always gone with her," Donna said, shocked.

"I know, it doesn't make sense." Dylan shook his head.

"Hey," David said, walking into the room with a freshly washed and pj'd Ruby. "She says it's _mommy's _turn to read her a story."

Donna looked apologetically at Dylan. "Sorry," she said, excusing herself.

"No problem," Dylan told her.

After handing a sleepy Ruby over to Donna, David sat down beside Dylan. "You're here because Brenda's been acting weird?"

"Yeah, did you hear us talking about it?"

David shook his head. "No, but I figured that was the problem."

"So you've noticed it too?" Dylan asked him. David nodded. "Has she said anything to you?"

"No, but that's part of the problem. She hasn't really spoken to me at all the last few days. I asked her to listen to one of my new songs and she said she would. I played Michael Boltonand she just nodded and said it sounded great."

"How come you didn't say anything?'

"Well, I asked her if everything was okay. She just smiled and said she was fine." David shrugged. "Have you tried talking to her?"

"Yeah. Didn't do me any good though," Dylan said, frustrated.

"How are things with Addy back at the house all of the time?"

Dylan smiled. "Really good. With Sammy, you know, I didn't have him alone much. With Addy being around all the time, I was worried that I'd freak out or something. But everything seems to be working out really well. She kisses me on the cheek and I feel like my chest is going to explode. That sounds crazy, but do you know what I mean?"

David chuckled. "We're so screwed when they grow up," he told his friend. "They already have us wrapped completely around their little fingers."

Dylan nodded in agreement, smiling. "I just wish I could figure out her mother," he said.

"Maybe she's just worried about her doctor's appointment tomorrow. I don't like going to the doctor."

"She is out like a light," Donna said, coming into the room and sitting between the two men.

"I was telling Dylan that Brenda may just be nervous about her doctor's appointment tomorrow," David told Donna, wrapping his arms around her.

"Have you noticed anything weird lately?" she asked him.

"Yeah, I told Dylan that I'd noticed she seemed pretty distracted."

"I guess I looked over it," Donna mused. Looking at Dylan she said, "Maybe I should see if she wants me to go to the doctor with her tomorrow. She probably doesn't need to go alone."

"I agree," Dylan said, "but I don't know if she'll want anyone to go or not. Maybe it's just me that she doesn't want to go. I just hate not knowing what's going on."

Donna hated to see her friend so upset, but she truly had no clue what had gotten into Brenda. "I know that she loves you, Dylan. Maybe she's trying to come to terms with all of the things that have been happening over the past month and is having a hard time dealing with some of it. Is she seeing a counselor?"

"Cindy found her one but she didn't want to go. She talks to Sandy about the shooting, but she won't talk to me about it. Or Brandon…I already asked him." Dylan slowly got up. "Thanks guys, I think I just needed to talk to someone about this. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has noticed it."

David nodded at him and Donna stood. "I'll call her first thing in the morning and see if she wants me to go to the doctor with her," she told Dylan. She hugged him and walked him to the door. "Call me if something happens or if you need anything."

"I will. Thanks, Donna. It's not easy for me-" he looked down. Looking back up at her, he said, "It's never been easy for me to ask for help…for anything. I'm glad we're all back here. You guys have been great."

Donna leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. "I'm glad we're all back too," she told him.

After closing the door behind Dylan she felt David's hands slide around her waist. "I'm glad we're back too," he said in her ear. "And now that Ruby is asleep and Dylan is gone, I can show you just how glad I am."

Donna smiled and let her husband lead her down the hallway.


	31. Chapter 31

"Well, I don't want to talk about it," Brenda told Dylan, pulling her arm from his grasp.

"Brenda, wait," he said, following her down the hall. "Could you just _talk _to me?"

Brenda kept walking and went into the bedroom. Dylan followed her. She began looking through her closet, trying to find her pull over. "I've been talking to you, Dylan." She turned around to look at him. "I don't have anything else to say."

Sitting on the bed, Dylan put his face in his hands. "You've not been saying anything," he said desperately.

"Maybe you haven't been listening," she told him, pulling her black pull over out of the closet and walking over to the nightstand.

Dylan got up and walked behind her. Putting his hands on her shoulders he said, "I love you, Bren."

Brenda sighed. Turning, she looked at him. A single tear was rolling down her face. "I love you too Dylan," she told him. Moving past him, she walked out of the bedroom.

Dylan fisted his hands and stared at the ceiling. He was trying to be understanding but the truth was he _didn't _understand. He had no idea what was going on. Walking into the kitchen, he said, "Was that Donna on the phone earlier?"

"Yeah," she said, not looking at him. "We're going to get something to eat and then she's going to go to the doctor with me."

Dylan let out a small sigh of relief. At least she wouldn't be alone. "Look, Bren, I don't understand what's going on, and I hate the way I'm feeling right now."

Brenda looked at him for a moment. "I'm sorry you're unhappy," was all she said before walking into the living room to get her purse. She was feeling stronger than she had since the shooting, but every now and then a twinge of pain shot through her chest and down her arm. Grimacing, she moved her purse to her other arm. "I'm leaving," she told Dylan, giving him a small kiss on the cheek. "Call me if you have any trouble with Addy." The little girl was taking a nap in her room.

"I've got this," Dylan assured her. Grabbing her hand as she turned away, Dylan waiting until she was looking at him. "I love you," he said again, looking into her eyes.

With a wan smile she nodded, then walked out of the apartment. Shutting the door behind her, Dylan hit the wall.

When Brenda got to her car and shut the door she burst into tears. Crying so hard that she couldn't breathe, she put her head on the steering wheel. All of the panic and happiness and fear from the past week catching up to her, she couldn't stop.

Hearing Donnas' ringtone, Brenda raised her head for the first time in ten minutes. Silencing the phone, she pulled out a tissue from her purse. Looking in the mirror she groaned. She was never going to be able to hide her crying jag. Her make up was gone. Leaning her head back on the steering wheel, she sighed.

Driving to the Peach Pit, Brenda kept taking deep breaths. The only thing that accomplished was making her light headed. Pulling up to the front of the restaurant, she waved at Donna. Getting out of her car and walking toward her friend she said, "Sorry I'm running a bit late."

Donnas' mouth opened in shock. "Brenda, what's wrong?"

She couldn't stop the tears from flooding her eyes. Smiling weakly, she said, "Can we get something to eat? I'm starving."

"Of course," Donna told her. Walking into the Pit, they got a seat by a window. "Brenda, just tell me…are you okay?"

Brenda looked at Donna, eyes wide. "I don't know, Donna," she said honestly.

Donna put her hand on Brenda's. "Dylan is so worried about you."

Brenda nodded. "I know he is. He's been trying to talk to me." She shook her head miserably. "I don't know what to say to him."

"What's wrong, Brenda?"

Brenda shook her head. "We'll talk about it later, okay? I promise."

"You're sure?"

"I am."

The women ate and talked about the theater and about Addy and Ruby. Donna didn't mention the doctor's appointment or Dylan again. After they paid the check and walked out to Donnas' car, Brenda hugged her. Hugging her back, Donna said, "What's that for?"

"For being my friend," Brenda told her, getting into the car. "And for not pushing."

While driving, Donna looked over at her friend. Brenda seemed calm, but Donna noticed her white knuckles. "Hey, have you talked to Val? Rick is coming in for a couple of weeks."

"That's great," Brenda said, meaning it. She'd been a little worried about Val, who'd been moping around. Val was not a moper. She was a bouncer. Brenda had to get better so Val could be with Rick. She needed to get her pep back. And Brenda really needed to regain control of her life.

Talking about Rick and Val, the two arrived at the doctor's office. Donna kept Brenda talking while in the waiting room until finally the doctor called her back. When Brenda went in, Donna called Dylan. "Dylan, something's going on."

"What did the doctor say?"

"I don't know, she hasn't come out yet. But you were right; there's something really wrong with Brenda."

Dylan was silent for a moment. "Should I come?" he asked.

"No, I'm here and I don't want to upset her. If something happens, I'll call you."

"Thanks, Donna," Dylan said, grateful.

Donna talked to some of the other people in the waiting room, fidgeting. "Mrs. Silver?" a nurse asked, standing in front of Donna.

"Yes?' Donna said, confused.

"Miss Walsh needs you," the nurse told her kindly.

Worried, Donna got up and followed her. "Take your time," the nurse said, opening the door to Brenda's room.

Donna walked in and found Brenda sobbing on the examination table. "Brenda!" Donna said, shocked, rushing to her friend. "Oh my God, what's happened?"

Brenda pulled Donna to her, crying. Donna just hugged her, not knowing what to do. Brenda finally pulled back, wiping tears away from her face. Donna was surprised to find a smile on her friends face. "Brenda?' she said uncertainly.

"I'm pregnant," Brenda told her friend, smiling while tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. "It must have happened the day Kelly shot me." Brenda took a deep breath.

Donna stared at Brenda, unsure what to say. "So that's what's been wrong with you? You realized you were pregnant?" Brenda nodded. "But Brenda, that's great! You've wanted a baby so much. It almost killed you when you thought you couldn't have one!"

Brenda began crying again. "But I heard you and Dylan outside the door the other night, Donna. He doesn't want to have a baby." Putting her head on Donnas' shoulder she whispered, "What am I going to do?"


	32. Chapter 32

Brandon was rebuilding a LEGO tower. He and Kassie had a strategy. He builds, she knocks it down. He builds, she knocks it down. He builds…she goes over to play with her dolls and completely ignores the massive fortress her father just created. "Kassie," he cajoled. "Look what daddy built!"

"No!" the little girl cried happily, loving on her doll.

"You want me to knock them down?" he asked her.

"No!"

"Okay then," he mumbled, shaking his head. Women, he thought with a sigh. Even little women.

He was worried about his sister. From what David had told him earlier when he'd stopped by the theater, Brenda had been acting oddly. Dylan had been telling Brandon about her weird mood swings, but he'd thought they were just having normal relationship pangs. Now he wasn't so sure.

A knock at the door had Kassie running to hide behind Brandon's newly created LEGO castle. Smiling, Brandon opened the door. "Kelly," he said surprised, rocking back on his heels. "Hi."

Kelly smiled nervously. "Hey Brandon," she said. Sammy looked at Brandon from behind his mother. "Sammy," Kelly said, looking at the little boy, "say hi to mommy's friend Brandon."

Shaking his head, Sammy ducked his head back behind Kelly. Shaking her head apologetically, Kelly gave Brandon a nervous smile. "He's shy," Kelly told him.

Brandon knew the little boy wasn't very shy around Addy and Maddison and Hannah, but figured he presented a pretty imposing figure. "Kassie," he called into the house. "Someone's here to see you!"

"Yaaaaaaaaay," the little girl trilled, unsteadily running to the door. "Hewo?"

Sammy moved from behind Kelly and smiled at Kassie. Kassie held out her hand and Sammy took it, not giving Brandon another look as they moved to Kassie's toys. "It's the Walsh charm," Brandon told Kelly, winking. "Works every time."

Laughing, Kelly nodded. "It certainly does."

Moving aside, Brandon motioned for Kelly to come in. "You want to come in?"

Kelly moved into the living room. "You guys have been playing, huh?" she said to Brandon, taking in the toy explosion on the floor.

"Uh, yeah," Brandon said, kicking some of the toys under the couch.

Laughing, Kelly sat down. "You don't have to hide it from me, Brandon, my house is the same."

"You don't have to hide anything from me, either," he said. "So why don't you tell me what brings you over?"

Seeing that Sammy was paying the grown ups no attention she looked at him. "Honestly? I'm lonely."

Brandon was surprised with the candid response. "I thought you'd worked things out with everyone?"

Kelly sighed. "I have. Well, I sort of have. I still don't feel comfortable calling anyone just to chat and I can't help but notice that no one feels the need to call me for that reason either." Kelly ducked her head but Brandon noticed the tears in her eyes.

"Everyone's been really busy, Kel. Donna and David are working so hard at the theater, Brenda's working herself to the point of exhaustion and Dylan is going crazy worrying about her…" he trailed off, not sure what to say.

"Oh, I know, I know," she said, smiling. Brandon could tell that she was still extremely hurt. "And I have had Steve…he's been so great through this. I know that his life is torn apart, but he doesn't blame me." She took a breath, looking Brandon in the eye. "He should, but he doesn't."

Brandon got up and sat beside her. "You were both grown adults, both in pain. I don't agree with the way you handled any of this, but I know you, Kelly. I know that you have faults, and I know that you truly regret what you did." He shrugged. "And I think that if you called Donna or David or anyone else, they'd want to talk to you."

Kelly nodded slightly, acknowledging the truth in his words. "Maybe I should try."

"You came over here," Brandon pointed out.

"That's because I've always felt comfortable with you." Embarrassed, Kelly looked down at her lap. "And I wanted to come over to make sure we were okay." She looked up at him.

Brandon looked at the wall, thinking about what he should say. He really hated the way Kelly had acted at different times in the past. But he could never hate Kelly. They'd been through so much together…

"Why did you want to keep Brenda and Dylan apart?" he asked, looking at her.

"Because I didn't want Brenda to win," she said simply, sadly.

Shaking his head, Brandon looked over to where Kassie and Sammy were playing. Kassie's mom had been a very straight arrow; there was no wondering what she was thinking about because she was so open you already knew. She and Kelly were as different as night and day, but they were the only two women he'd ever truly loved. "And now?"

Kelly looked at her son. "I think that I've finally grown up." She looked back at Brandon. "I just hope it isn't too late."

Brandon looked into her eyes and realized that Andrea was right; he was still in love with Kelly Taylor. "Kelly," he started, being interrupted by someone knocking on the door. "Sorry," he told her, getting up and going to the door.

"Brandon," Brenda cried, throwing herself into his arms.

Brandon looked behind her to Donna, who just shrugged. "Brenda, are you okay?"

"No," his twin moaned. "Yes," she corrected. "No," she said again. Pulling back, she looked at him. "I don't know."

"Well that was helpful," he said slowly, watching Brenda's face. "Now in English?"

"I don't know what to do," Brenda said, putting her head on her brother's chest.

"Brenda?" Kelly said from the living room.

Brandon and Brenda both tensed. Brenda groaned. She looked up at Brandon. "Really?"

"Yeah," Brandon told her. "But we can talk about that later."

Sighing, Brenda turned toward Kelly. "Hello, Kelly."

"Hey, Brenda." She looked at Brandon. "I think that maybe I should go?"

"No, that's fine," Brenda said, answering for Brandon. "But I do need to talk to my brother alone for a minute."

"Hey Kelly!" Donna said, coming in. She hugged her friend.

Kelly looked at Brandon and he noticed she again had tears in her eyes. Nodding at her, he said, "You two go on and sit down. Me and Bren will be out in a little bit."

"I have so much to tell you!" Donna was saying as they walked into the other room.

"Kitchen?" Brandon asked Brenda.

"Sure," Brenda told him.

When they got to the kitchen Brandon asked Brenda if she needed ice cream. "I do," she told him, "but I don't want any."

"Okay Bren," he said, sitting down, "what's up?"

"Do you think Dylan will be okay with raising Addy?"

Brandon, thrown by the question, thought about it. "I think it's pretty clear that he wants you and Addy in his life. And he's great with her."

"So you think he'll be a good father?"

Brandon shrugged. "It'll take him some time to get used to it, sure. Plus, I've not spent a lot of time with him lately. But Dylan is a good guy and he loves you. I think he'll do fine."

"Yeah, it's not like Addy is actually his daughter or anything."

"He always did worry about what sort of father he'd be, what kind of kid he would have. His parents really messed him up."

Brenda felt as if she'd been hit. "Did he ever say that to you? That he didn't want to have kids of his own?"

Brandon shrugged again. "He was pretty open about it. I think he'll be a better father than he ever gave himself credit for."

Brenda put her head on the table, mumbling. "What?" Brandon asked her.

"I'm pregnant!" Brenda shouted at him, looking up.

Brandon's mouth fell open in shock. "But the doctor said you can't…" Brandon smiled and jumped up, pulling Brenda up with him. He hugged her tightly, then swung her around. "Brenda that's amazing!" Realizing why they'd just had the conversation they'd just had, Brandon put her down. "So that's why you were asking about Dylan?"

Brenda nodded. "I want this baby, Brandon. But what if Dylan doesn't?"

Brandon hugged his sister. "Bren, Dylan will love this baby." He pulled her back to look in her eyes. "I promise you, he will."

Brenda looked into her brothers eyes, smiling even though she was crying. "I'm going to have a baby! Addy will be so excited!"

"And dad may have another heart attack," he told her, laughing.

In the other room, Kelly was staring at Donna in shock. "Brenda's pregnant?" They'd both heard her shout it from the kitchen. Kassie and Sammy hadn't even looked up.

"She is," Donna confirmed, smiling.

"But I thought that she couldn't have kids?"

"Didn't they say the same thing about you?"

"They did," Kelly nodded. "So…is it Dylan's?"

"Kelly, come on," Donna said, annoyed. "Of course it's Dylan's."

Kelly sighed and looked down. "I can't seem to stop myself from saying terrible things." She looked at Donna. "But I'm working on it, I swear."

Donna put her hand on Kelly's. "Keep working," she told her friend with a smile.

Brandon and Brenda walked into the living room. Standing up, Kelly said, "Congratulations, Brenda." She tentatively stepped toward her friend. When Brenda realized Kelly was going to hug her she stepped closer and hugged her back.

"I've missed you," Kelly told her softly, looking at Brandon over Brenda's shoulder. He winked at her and she closed her eyes. Maybe everything really would work out.


	33. Chapter 33

Brenda had dropped her baby girl off at Brandon's, laughing at how excited she and Kassie had been to see each other. She could tell that the girls were going to be close and was grateful for that. "Think we were ever that happy to see each other?" Brandon had asked her.

"Come on, Brandon, you know you're _always _happy to see me," she'd told him, winking. He'd been smiling and shaking his head as he shut the door.

Walking toward her apartment, Brenda worried about her plans for the evening. It was time to talk to Dylan, really talk. There were so many things they had to work out, and she was nervous about whether or not he'd want to stay. He'd asked her last night about her doctors appointment, but she'd vaguely told him everything was fine and that the doctor had told her she was healing nicely. While that was true, she'd left out a very important bit of information. She'd wanted to tell him that she was pregnant, but every time she'd opened her mouth to do so she'd chickened out. Deciding that tonight was the night, she'd asked Brandon to watch Kassie and had been mentally preparing herself all day.

Reaching the apartment, she put her key in the door and was surprised when Dylan opened it before she could turn the knob. Standing in front of her with a smile on his face, Brenda couldn't help but smile back. He was wearing a black sweater with a white shirt under it and dark jeans. He looked so much like he did when they were in high school it took her breath away. Brenda's gaze moved over him, then back to his face. He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head. "Like what you see?"

Still smiling and moving close to him she reached up for a kiss. Wrapping her arms around his neck and sinking her fingers into his hair, she forgot all of the things she had to tell him, forgot all of her plans. Dylan's arms went around her, pulling her so close she could feel his heart beat. He moved his lips down her neck and she sighed.

Dylan pulled her all the way into the apartment and shut the door with his foot, capturing her mouth with his again. He pushed her back against the door, his leg between hers. Keeping his lips on hers he lifted both of her arms above her head and held them there. Roaming her body with his free hand, Dylan smiled when her breathing became ragged. Her skin burned where he touched it and she felt herself melting. Brenda gasped, opening her mouth against his as his hand moved lower, inching up her skirt.

Heart racing, Dylan marveled at the softness of her skin. He couldn't seem to get close enough to her. Moving his hand up her thigh, he felt her tremble. Looking into her eyes, Dylan lowered his head and kissed her again, tracing her lips with his tongue. Moving his free hand higher still, he cupped her butt, pulling her even closer to him. Her whimper played hell with his resolve.

Groaning, he pulled his head away and watched her face. Brenda put her head back against the door, chest heaving. "Bren," he said, closing his eyes. "If you don't stop looking at me like that, I'll forget about all of the plans I've made tonight."

Brenda smirked at him. "You started it," she told him, rubbing her body against his.

Dylan dropped her arms and grabbed her, picking her up and wrapping her legs around him. Pushing her back into the door, he looked into her eyes. "It's important," he told her.

"So is this," Brenda told him, moving her hips against his, catching his lower lip with her teeth. Giving in, Dylan walked her down the hall, his mouth never leaving hers.

Over an hour later Dylan propped his head on his hand and looked down at Brenda. "What?" she said, smiling.

"You are so amazing," he told huskily. "You've driven me crazy for over a week now. You know that, right?"

She closed her eyes. "Mmm," was all she said.

Dylan laughed. "Dinner is ice cold."

Brenda leaned over, kissing his chest. "Are you really worried about dinner?" she asked him.

Using his finger to tilt her chin up, he kissed her deeply. "No," he said after a moment. "But I am worried about us, Bren."

Brenda laid her head back on the pillow. "I'm worried too."

Dylan groaned, lying back down. "That is not what I want to hear."

Brenda put her hand over his heart. "I love you Dylan."

Dylan looked at her, putting his hand over hers. "I love you too." He moved, getting out of the bed. "I'm going to reheat dinner," he told her. He leaned down to kiss her. "And then we're going to talk," he said, looking into her eyes.

After he left the room Brenda put his pillow over her head and groaned. The night had not gone at all like she'd planned so far, but she couldn't deny that it had been incredible. Maybe loving each other really could be enough. Deciding that there was only one way to find out, she got out of bed and dressed.

Walking into the kitchen she realized that Dylan really had planned something special. The table held candles, flowers and place settings. Smiling, she watched him take vegetable lasagna out of the oven. "It looks and smells wonderful Dylan."

Looking at her over his shoulder, he smiled. "I hope it tastes as good as it smells. Hey Bren, will you pull the salad out of the fridge?"

Brenda got the salad and dressing out of the refrigerator, putting it on the table. She and Dylan worked together getting everything ready. Before they sat down, Brenda turned her back on the table, appalled to realize she had tears in her eyes. "Hey, Bren," Dylan said, moving behind her. "What is it?"

Shrugging, Brenda refused to look back at him. "Brenda, come on, you can talk to me. Please," he pleaded.

Brenda took a deep breath. "Do you remember the night you told me you were leaving London?" she whispered. "I thought it was a normal night. We cooked together, ate together, cleaned up together. And then…" she broke off.

Dylan closed his eyes. Pulling her closer to him, he put his chin on top of her head. "This is different Bren." Turning her around, he looked into her eyes. "It kills me that I hurt you, but I'm not that guy anymore. I'm ready, Brenda. I'm ready for us."

Brenda just shook her head, afraid to say anything. "Wait here," he told her, going into the living room. When he came back he was carrying the play she'd gotten in the mail the day she'd been shot. They'd read it together for the past month, almost finishing it. The man in the play had worked though his anger and depression, but couldn't ease the pain in his heart without his true love. He'd made his way back into her life, but she'd still not forgiven him for the hurt he'd caused her. Brenda looked at Dylan, confused. "Sit down Bren," he told her softly.

When she was down, he pulled a chair close to her. Opening the play, he began to read. "With hope in his heart for the first time in years, he looked into her eyes. He read the confusion on her face and knew that she was lost. Kneeling in front of her, he took her hand. "I have spent the last few years in a very dark and cold place," he told her. "You are my light, my warmth. Without you, life is not worth living. I'm asking you to find it in your heart to forgive me…and to love me. Please love me," he said brokenly. "And please let me back into you life."" Dylan paused, looking up at Brenda. "Please find it in your heart to forgive me, Bren. Please love me. And please let me back into your life," he said, a single tear rolling down his face.

Realizing that the play they'd been reading for so long was Dylan's, Brenda gasped. "Oh, Dylan," she said softly, putting her hand on his face. The story had so much pain in it. Her heart had ached for the man in the story. Knowing it was Dylan's pain made it worse.

He reached behind him and pulled out a ring box. Opening it, he looked down. Looking back up at her, he said, "You and Addy are my future, Brenda. I love you and I can't live without you. I've hurt you so much, but I'm begging you to let me spend the next fifty years making it up to you. Will you marry me?"

Overwhelmed, Brenda looked from the ring to Dylan. "Yes," she said, sobbing. Throwing her arms around his neck, she kissed him. "Yes, Dylan."

Dylan hugged her tightly to him, vowing to himself that he would never let her go again.


	34. Chapter 34

Steve walked the path to his front door, hands in his pockets. Even though he'd been staying at a hotel, this was his home and inside it was his family. Staring at the front door for a moment, he wondered how things had gotten so screwed up.

Because she'd seen him walk up, Janet was waiting and finally just opened the door. "Planning on standing there all night Steve?" she said icily.

Steve sighed and shrugged, looking at his wife. "Where's Maddie?" he asked.

"She's not gotten back from dance class yet, so you'll have to wait," she told him, turning and walking into the house without another word.

Steve walked into the house and shut the door. Their family picture stared down at him, all three of them smiling happily. Wincing, Steve felt his stomach clench as if bracing for a blow. The fact that his family had been ripped apart and it was his fault would haunt him forever.

He'd visited Brandon earlier to get some advice, grateful once again that his best friend was back in his life. The man had just come from the theater, where he'd been working with Val.

"I think Valerie is trying to kill me," Brandon had groaned, letting Steve into his place. "She sent more work home with me than can possibly be legit."

"Nah, she's just punishing everyone else because she stays sick all day long. When I go by there to drop something off or talk about a new idea I make sure I talk to Brenda or Donna. I avoid Val like the plague," Steve said, shaking his head. "I feel like I need a crucifix if I get there and have to talk to her."

"She's not that bad, Steve," Brandon said, laughing.

"Maybe not to you, but David and I are laying low," Steve told him. "David said Donna acted the same way when she was pregnant with Ruby. I thought women were supposed to be happy when they were pregnant?" Thinking about Brenda, Brandon shrugged. If she could get things straightened out with Dylan, he had no doubt she'd be the happiest pregnant woman on the planet.

Following his friend into the backyard, Steve watched Addy and Kassie play in the sandbox. The little girls seemed to be fighting over who got the shovel. He picked up the extra shovel lying outside the sandbox and handed it to Kassie. She smiled at him and he felt a twinge in his heart. "I miss Maddie, man," he told Brandon, watching the two girls play. "When she was this age, I was her hero. I'd fly her around the house, make airplane noises…" breaking off, he shook his head and looked at his friend. "I feel like I've lost them both."

"Will Janet still not talk to you?" Brandon asked him.

"She won't even look at me. When I pick up Maddie, she stays in the house. And she never answers the phone when I call; she always lets Maddie get it or lets it go to voicemail. I don't know what to do, Brandon," Steve said, looking at his friend. "What should I do?"

Brandon watched the girls play. "You're doing the only thing you can do, Steve," he said, looking at his friend. "You're trying." Brandon sat on one of the chairs and motioned for Steve to sit in the other. "I don't know if you've noticed this, but we're a very dysfunctional group of people," he told his friend.

Steve nodded, sitting down. "I was thinking about that on the way over here. It's always something…one of us is always facing a crisis or screwing up. I'm so tired of it being me, bro."

"It's been me too. It's been all of us, Steve. Maybe you a little more," he said jokingly, smiling at the look his friend gave him.

"I'm serious, Brandon. My life is falling apart. Again."

Brandon put his hand on his friends shoulder. "Steve, you made a mistake. You can't change it. The only thing you can do is move on from here. I don't know where you'll end up, and neither do you. But it's pretty much up to Janet at this point buddy."

Steve thought about that for a moment, then slowly shook his head. "Makes sense," he told his friend.

Now in his former home, Steve wondered if there was any chance of Janet forgiving him. "Janet," he said, walking into her home office, "is there any way we could please talk about this?"

Keeping her back to him, Janet continued to write something in a notebook. "I don't know what you want me to say Steve."

Sitting in the chair beside her, Steve watched her work. "Janet," he said, but she still wouldn't look at him. He reached out and took her arm, turning her so she had to look at him. He then realized she was crying. "Oh God Janet, I'm so sorry," he said, pulling her into his arms.

"I hate you so much," she said into his chest, her hands knotted into fists.

Steve closed his eyes, hating himself more than he'd ever thought possible. "I know you don't want to hear it, Janet, but I will never forgive myself for hurting you like this. If there was any way I could take it back, I would, I swear."

Janet pulled back. "How could you, Steve? With Kelly?"

Steve looked into her eyes. "I didn't mean to. You had broken my heart." He looked down, swallowing. "When I thought about you and that other guy, I wanted to die." He looked back at her. "I couldn't stand it. I ran into Kelly, who was upset over Dylan and we got so drunk…" Steve shook his head. "When I woke up beside her, it was the worst moment of my life." He looked into her eyes, "I swear to you, Janet, I had no intention of being with Kelly. Kelly is my friend, our friend, but there's no other woman in the world for me but you."

Tears still streaming down her face, Janet looked at the ceiling. "I know that I cheated first," she said, wiping a tear from her cheek. She looked at him. "But it wasn't with one of our friends, and I would have never lied to you about something as important as having a son, Steve."

Steve nodded. "I understand you not being able to forgive me. I wouldn't be able to forgive me either."

Janet shook her head. "Yes you would, Steve. Because you're a forgiving person. You don't have it in your heart to stay angry at anyone. I love that about you." She took his hand. "I love you," she whispered brokenly, "but this…I don't think I can get over this."

Steve nodded again, tears forming in his eyes. "I miss you, Janet. I miss Maddie. I miss our life together," he said in quiet desperation.

"Maddie misses you too," she said, frowning. "She doesn't understand what's going on."

"We had a good life together. I don't want to lose it." He kneeled down in front of her. "Please forgive me. Please," he begged. "I don't want to lose you."

Openly crying, Janet looked away. "I'm pregnant, Steve."

Steve's mouth fell open. "What?"

Janet looked at him, her face serious. "I'm pregnant."

Steve stood up and grabbed her up from her chair, hugging her tight. Sitting her back down, he looked into her eyes. "We're having a baby?"

"I'm pregnant," she said slowly, "but I don't know if we're having a baby or not."

Steve's heart stopped beating. "What does that mean?'

Janet buried her face in her hands and cried. "Do you really think that bringing an innocent baby into this mess is fair? To anyone?" she asked him, not looking up.

Shocked, Steve stared at his wife. "Surely you don't mean…you're not thinking about…Janet, no, you can't," he said desperately.

"I don't know what to do," she said miserably.

Breathing hard, Steve stood up. "That child is wanted, Janet. If we can't work things out and separate, that baby is still wanted. I can't believe that you would even consider…" Moving to the doorway, he stood with his back to her. "I feel like I don't know you at all," he whispered before leaving the room. Janet flinched when she heard the door slam.


	35. Chapter 35

Brandon walked through his house and was surprised to find Steve pacing outside his front door. "Steve?" he said, opening the door. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm losing it Brandon," Steve told him, stricken.

Brandon shut the door behind him and looked at his friend. "What's going on?"

"Janet is pregnant."

"Wow, Steve, that's great," Brandon told him, patting him on the shoulder.

Steve stopped pacing and glared at Brandon. "It's not great! There's nothing great about it!"

"Whoa, Steve, what's happening?"

"Janet is thinking about having an abortion."

Brandon, shocked, took a deep breath. "What? Janet would never do that."

"That's what I thought too, man. But that's what she just said, honest to God." Steve began pacing again. "What is she thinking, Brandon? Why would she ever even consider such a thing? Does she really hate me so much that she can't bear having my child?"

Brandon watched as his friend paced. Brandon knew Janet and would have never expected such a thing from her. "Steve, I'm sorry. Is there anything you can do?"

"What Brandon? What can I do? Tell me, because I have no clue."

Brandon opened the door and leaned in, listening to see if either of the girls had woken up. They hadn't. "Do you want me to talk to her?" he asked Steve after he'd closed the door back.

Before Steve could reply, Andrea walked up. "Hey guys," she said, smiling at them. "Brandon, I brought you some papers from the Peach Pit. You need to read over them and sign them. What's going on?" she asked slowly after taking in their expressions.

Brandon made a face and shrugged and Steve hung his head. "My wife has lost her mind," he muttered. He looked at Andrea. "Andrea, you're a woman, right?"

Andrea rolled her eyes. "Last time I checked."

"Would you ever consider having an abortion, even though your husband begged you not to?" Steve asked her.

Andrea sucked in her breath. The truth was, she'd come very close to having an abortion when she'd found out she was pregnant. She'd felt trapped and terrified, seeing no way she could make any of her dreams come true if she had the baby. Jesse had begged her not to, and in the end she'd been unable to go through with it. "What's going on?" she asked again.

"Janet told Steve that she's pregnant," Brandon told her. He looked at Steve. "And that she might not have the baby."

"How could she do this, Andrea?" Steve asked, emotion choking him.

"Steve," Andrea started. "When a woman is pregnant, her emotions are already all over the place. Janet has been pretty upset this past month. She may feel…" Andrea looked at Brandon, who just shrugged. "She may feel like she just can't handle it."

"But it's a baby, Andrea," Steve said. "My baby. _Our_ baby." Andrea started to say something else, but Steve waved her off. "I have to get out of here. I'll see you guys later." He walked away, head down.

Brandon and Andrea stared after him. "Poor Steve," Brandon said.

"Poor Janet," Andrea replied.

They looked at each other. "Come on in," Brandon told her. "But we need to be quiet. Kassie and Addy are asleep."

"You have Addy?" Andrea asked him, walking into his home.

Brandon nodded. "Brenda and Dylan had some important things to discuss, so I'm watching Addy for her. Hey," he told her, stopping. "I haven't told you yet; I'm going to be an uncle!"

Confused, Andrea looked at him. "You're already an uncle."

Laughing quietly, Brandon took her hand and walked her into the living room. "Yeah, but I'm going to be an uncle again. Brenda is pregnant."

"Oh wow, Brandon, that's great! I thought she couldn't have a baby?"

"That's what the doctor told her. They told Kelly that, too, remember?"

Andrea nodded. "So that's why Brenda's been so tired, huh?"

"Well, that and, you know, being shot."

"Brenda's pregnant, Val's pregnant, Janet's pregnant," Andrea said, sitting down. "Everyone's pregnant."

Brandon faltered, legs weak. "Andrea…you're not? I mean, we used protection," he said.

"No, Brandon, of course I'm not," Andrea told him, laughing. "I'm almost offended at how horrified you looked when you asked me that!"

"I didn't mean-"

"It's okay, Brandon, I understand," she told him gently. "Now," she said, pulling out the papers she'd brought over from her briefcase, "here's what I need you to look over and sign. Dylan signed his part earlier today."

While Brandon looked over the papers, Andrea thought about Janet. She must be hurting badly to be considering an abortion. She knew that if Janet did go through with it, it would destroy Steve.

When she'd first found out she was pregnant, terror unlike anything she'd ever known had taken root in her heart, replacing all other thoughts and emotions. She didn't even consider the baby a person, but more as an obstacle that needed to be disposed of. Thinking of how amazing her Hannah was, Andrea was horrified that she'd ever thought of not having her child. Jesse had said that he would love her regardless, but Andrea knew, deep down, that he would have never forgiven her.

Janet felt betrayed, as she should. If she were in Janet's position, she would be questioning every decision to be made as well. Andrea wondered if Janet had anyone to talk to. Though she and Janet didn't know each other very well, Andrea felt like she could help the other woman right now. Kelly had been with Andrea and talked to her, helping her make a decision. Maybe Andrea could help Janet.

Watching Brandon, Andrea wondered if he'd talked to Kelly. "How are things going between Dylan and Kelly?"

Brandon looked up from a paper he was signing. "They're not. Kelly said Dylan hasn't talked to her."

Andrea nodded. "So you've talked to Kelly?"

Brandon smiled at Andrea. "I know what you're doing."

Andrea's eyes widened innocently. "What am I doing?"

Brandon leaned back in his seat. "You want to know how things are between Kelly and me."

Andrea smiled. "Well…maybe."

Brandon wagged his pen at her. Looking down at the papers, he signed one. "I don't know how things are going with us."

"Well, are you now at least willing to admit you still have feelings for her?"

Brandon looked at her again. "I think I'll always have feelings for her. But I don't know if I could ever trust her again. What do you think about it? Have you talked to her?"

"I could never tell you whether or not you should trust her again, but I have talked to her. I think she's really trying. This situation really shook her."

Brandon nodded, thinking. "She says that she's trying. I guess that she is." He turned his attention back to the papers but wasn't really looking at them. "I can't jump in again. I have too many other things in my life that I won't risk. Kassie, Brenda, my friendship with Dylan." He sighed. "I guess I don't know what to do," he told Andrea, looking at her again.

Andrea put her hand on his leg. "You'll figure it out, Brandon. And you'll make the right decision. You always do."

"I hope so," he told her, finally signing the other paper.

Andrea took the papers from him and held out her hand. "Congratulations, Ace, you're now the proud co-owner of the Peach Pit and the After Dark."

Brandon smiled. "I always wanted it," he admitted. "Don't tell anyone I said that."

Andrea laughed. "We all knew," she told him. She looked at her watch. "I've got to run. Jesse and Hannah are holding a late dinner for me."

"Things going well?" Brandon asked, following her to the door.

"So well," Andrea told him happily. "Hey, Brandon," she said, turning around at the door. "Do you think that maybe I should talk to Janet?"

Brandon regarded her quizzically. "Are you two close?"

Andrea sighed. "Not really," she admitted. Andrea thought about leaving it at that, but decided she couldn't. "Brandon, I almost had an abortion. I didn't go through with it, but I know how it feels to be scared and confused."

Brandon rubbed Andrea's shoulder. "Maybe you should talk to her," he told her. "At this point, it can't hurt, right?"


	36. Chapter 36

Brenda stretched out, feeling deliciously achy. She and Dylan had again skipped the meal he had prepared, instead coming back to the bedroom to celebrate his proposal and her acceptance. She looked over, making sure she hadn't disturbed him. He still seemed so beautiful to her. In sleep, Dylan was relaxed, the lines of worry erased from his face.

Getting up, she put on his shirt and walked into the kitchen. Starving, she fixed a plate of lasagna and put it in the microwave. Humming, she began working on a salad, not caring that the lettuce was wilted. As she reached for the dressing the light caused her engagement ring to sparkle. She gasped in delight, once again overcome with emotion. It was finally happening. She and Dylan were finally going to be together- but this time forever.

She worried over telling him about the baby. She should have mentioned it before saying yes to the proposal, she knew. But she'd been so caught up in the moment, in her amazement that after all of this time Dylan had finally asked her, that she'd honestly forgotten. "Sorry, baby," she whispered, patting her still flat stomach.

"Sorry about what?" Dylan asked, walking up behind her and putting his arms around her.

Brenda jumped, then leaned back into him. "You're going to have to stop sneaking up on me," she teased.

"Mmm," he said, kissing her neck. He eyed her salad. "Think you have enough for two? We still have some things we need to talk about. May as well do it over food."

Brenda nodded. "I'll add a little more. Get the lasagna out of the microwave and put yours in while I'm fixing it."

Dylan did as she'd said and they sat at the table. He watched her, smiling. He'd always loved looking at Brenda. She was so different from any other woman he'd known. Sure, she was beautiful; ivory skin, dark brown hair, red lips…but it was her eyes that moved him. When he looked into Brenda's eyes, he felt like he was looking into her soul. Her eyes truly were windows, not just mirrors like most everyone else's.

Brenda looked up to see Dylan watching her. "Dylan, it's rude to stare at someone when they're eating," she said, laughing.

Dylan shrugged slightly, never looking away from her eyes. "I can't help it Bren. Every time I look at you I see something I missed the last time."

"You have the rest of our lives to look at me."

Dylan's face remained serious. "I intend to use every minute I can to do just that."

His words reminded her that they'd not discussed work schedules or where they were going to live or his home in Wyoming. Brenda had no desire to live in Wyoming and give up her theater, but she would if she had to. "You were right earlier," she told him. "We do need to talk."

Dylan nodded. "We should get married as soon as we can." At her raised eyebrows, he finally smiled. "I don't want to give you the chance to change your mind. Maybe we should fly to Vegas, not tell anyone. Definitely not Brandon, we know he can't keep a secret."

Brenda rolled her eyes and threw a crouton at him. Laughing, he said, "Kidding, Bren, I'm kidding."

Brenda threw another crouton at him. "I can't believe I almost went through with that," she said, sighing. "What was I thinking? What were _you _thinking, letting me do it?"

"If you'd waited another five seconds to stop the wedding, I would have said something." He smiled, remembering. "I almost couldn't hear you speak over the pounding of my heart. And if I hadn't said something, Brandon would have. I'm sure of it."

"Where do you want to get married, Dylan? Seriously, now, jokes aside."

Dylan leaned forward and put his elbows on the table, looking at her. "Seriously, Bren?" At her nod, he said, "Baja."

Brenda smiled slowly, delighted. "That's what I was thinking, too."

"Think Jim will let us go?" Dylan asked, eyebrows raised in innocence.

"I don't think he'll have a problem with it this time…so long as we invite him along."

Dylan held his hand out on the table and she put hers in it. "Things sure have changed," he said, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

"Some things are still the same," Brenda told him. "I've loved you with all of my heart from almost the moment we met." She slapped his hand. "Even though you said you preferred blondes!"

Dylan smiled and brought her hand up to his lips, kissing it. "I have always preferred you, Bren. No matter what you're being compared to, you'll win."

"Even Wyoming?" Brenda asked quietly, watching his face.

"The only problem I had in Wyoming was that you weren't there," he told her. At her expression, he continued, "And I know you don't want to live there. Your theater and family are here. So are our friends. We can't leave now. I'm going to keep the ranch and all the guys, though. They work hard and are making money. We'll just have to go up there from time to time." He looked at her, smiling. "I really think you'll like it up there, Bren. We can teach Addy how to ride and what the sky really looks like when it's dark."

Brenda sighed in relief. "Addy would love that," she told him. "And so would I."

"I have something else I've been meaning to tell you, and I don't know how it's taken me this long to do it. I also need to apologize to you because everyone else already knows about it." Brenda frowned, cocking her head. "Your brother and I bought the Peach Pit and After Dark."

Shocked, Brenda's mouth fell open. "Dylan, that's great!" she said finally. "Brandon has always wanted to own the Peach Pit. Now just about everyone has owned it."

Dylan laughed. "I know."

Brenda's smile slipped and she looked down. "There's something I have to tell you, too." Taking a deep breath, she looked at him. "It's something I've been worrying about for about a week now."

Dylan squeezed her hand, leaning toward her. "Brenda, no matter what it is, we'll get though it. I've been trying to tell you that."

Brenda grimaced. "This isn't really something to get through, Dylan." She didn't say anything for a moment, the words stuck in her throat.

"Brenda," Dylan said, brow furrowing. "You can tell me anything."

Nodding, Brenda took a deep breath. "Dylan, I'm pregnant."

Confused, Dylan stared at her. "What?"

"We're having a baby," she said, smiling weakly. "The day I got shot…" she shrugged.

"Are you telling me that you're pregnant with my baby? You, Brenda Walsh, are pregnant with my, Dylan McKay's, baby?"

Brenda's stomach tightened. "Yes," she said softly, nodding.

Dylan got out of his chair and kneeled in front of her. "You're sure, Bren? You're sure you're pregnant?"

"Yes," she said again.

Dylan put his head in her lap for a moment. Brenda, not sure what to do, ran her fingers through his hair. She didn't know if he was happy or upset. "Dylan?' she asked, concerned.

He raised his head to look at her, tears streaming down his face. He caught her face in both of his hands and kissed her, then wrapped them around her and hugged her tightly. "We're having a baby," he murmured against her hair. Smiling wider and brighter than she'd ever seen, Dylan pulled back to look at her. "Do you know why I'm so lucky?"

Brenda smiled, remembering when she'd said the exact same words to him. "Why?"

"How many people get to have their first child with someone they love?"

Laughing, Brenda kissed him. "I've never really taken an opinion poll," she told him. "But I'm sure lots of people do."

Dylan, serious now, shook his head. "No, Bren. Not this type of love. This is different." He laced his finger with hers. "You've saved me, Brenda. You give me courage and hope." He leaned in to kiss her lightly. "I am so in love with you," he whispered against her lips.

Brenda's heart leaped and she put her forehead to his. Dylan loved her and Addy, and he was going to love this baby. The dreams that had followed her for years were finally coming true.


	37. Chapter 37

Andrea called herself every type of fool she could think of as she walked toward Steve and Janet's door. She and Janet had only talked a handful of times in the past ten years; why did she think Janet would want to hear anything she had to say? She couldn't help but feel it was important for someone to talk to Janet, though. May as well be her.

Steeling herself, Andrea knocked on the door. After a moment, Janet opened it, stepping outside. "Andrea?" she said, confused. Her face was pale and her nose red; Andrea could tell she'd been crying.

Forcing a smile, Andrea said, "Hi Janet. I just came over to see how you're doing. Is it okay if I come in?"

Janet, clearly having no idea what to say, opened the door and motioned Andrea inside. "You'll have to excuse the mess," she told Andrea, walking through the house. "I haven't been home long and last night Maddie had a couple of friends over for a sleepover."

Andrea smiled at the woman. "I know all about it. Hannah and her friends are like mini cyclones."

The women sat in the living room. "How is Hannah?"

Andrea shrugged a little. "Right now she's doing great. We're all praying it stays that way." Janet had come with Steve a couple of times to visit with Andrea while Hannah was in the hospital. "She's an amazing girl," Andrea continued after a minute.

"Yes, I could tell that when I met her," Janet agreed. She looked at Andrea, studying her face. "Andrea," she said finally, "I don't mean to be rude, but I have no idea why you're here."

Andrea nodded her head a bit. "I know, and I'm sorry for intruding. I just thought that maybe you'd like to talk to someone."

Janet looked at her quizzically. "Did Steve send you?"

"No," Andrea said firmly. "In fact, Steve will probably be very upset with me when he learns that I came here." She looked at Janet. "I don't think he even realizes that I was at Brandon's house last night when he dropped by."

"Oh," Janet said, still confused. "So…?"

Andrea took a deep breath. "I know that you don't know a lot about me, Janet, and that you've always seen me as Hannah's mother. But when I first found out I was pregnant…" Andrea let out a breath and shook her head. "I was terrified. I was in school, barely knew Jesse, wasn't married…" she looked at Janet. "I went to a clinic and made arrangements for an abortion."

The color drained from Janet's face. "How could he?" she hissed, standing up. "How could Steve ever mention that to anyone?"

Andrea stood, too. "Janet, I know that you're hurting, but Steve is too. He's lost his family. And now, he's terrified that his child won't have a life because of a mistake he made."

Janet put her face in her hands and cried. "I can't believe that my life has come to this!" She looked at Andrea. "So you thought you would come over here and save the day, huh?'

Shocked by the anger in Janet's voice and face, Andrea backed up a bit. "I just thought that you could use someone to talk to," she said softly. "Someone who's been there."

"I went to the clinic today," Janet told her flatly.

Andrea closed her eyes, the words hitting her like a blow. Steve, she thought. This will kill Steve. "I'm sorry to have bothered you," Andrea said quietly, moving around Janet toward the door.

"I couldn't go through with it," Janet said from behind her. Janet had sunk back into the chair, once again crying into her hands.

Andrea caught her breath and said a quick prayer of thanks. Turning around, Andrea stood, waiting for Janet to say something.

Janet looked at Andrea, tears streaming down her face. "I love that jackass so much," she said, crying. "It physically hurts me when I think about any of this, but I couldn't do it."

Andrea sat back down. "I did the same thing," she told the crying woman. "I thought an abortion was the only way out, the only way to be fair to me or the baby. I was wrong. The entire time I was pregnant I wondered if I'd made a mistake…but the first time I held Hannah, I knew. She was where she belonged, in her mother and fathers arms."

Janet nodded, still not looking at Andrea. "I hurt Steve," she whispered. "I know that it almost killed him when he found out I'd slept with another man. But he forgave me." She finally looked at Andrea. "Why can't I seem to forgive him for this?"

"Because it was with Kelly," Andrea said bluntly. "And he has a child he never told you about." Janet flinched as Andrea was talking. "Steve has acted like an idiot. He _is _an idiot." Andrea waited until Janet was looking into her eyes. "But I can't help thinking he was just as upset and confused about any of this as you and I have been about our babies. In the end, I have to believe that Steve truly felt like he was doing what was best for everyone."

Janet nodded slowly, thinking. She groaned. "Kelly Taylor," she said, looking at Andrea. "She's our daughters God mother, for heaven's sake."

"Do you think," Andrea said softly, "that it being Kelly could be the reason you can't forgive him?"

Shocked, Janet stared at Andrea. "I think you're right," she said slowly. "I wasn't just betrayed by Steve, it was by someone that I thought was a close friend too. I lost them both…"

"Janet, you don't have to lose anyone," Andrea told her soothingly. "You could forgive them both and put it behind you. Or you can let it sit between you and lose the man you love and your friend."

Janet looked at Andrea accusingly. "And you, Andrea? Would you be able to forgive?"

"I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone," Andrea said after a moment. "I have been in love with Brandon Walsh since the moment I met him." She smiled, thinking about it. "It was painfully obvious, too. Everyone knew. Kelly and Brenda even teased me about it. But things just never seemed to work out for us." Andrea cleared her throat, laughing a little at Janet's shocked expression. "Kelly said that she was my friend, but then asked Brandon out. They didn't date at the time, but it hurt me that she would do that. After I had Hannah, she came to see me. She told me that she planned to visit him in Washington, and that she wanted to be with him. She asked me for my permission," Andrea said, shaking her head. "What could I have said? I have a husband and a daughter, but I don't want you dating the boy from high school I'm still hung up on?"

"Kelly Taylor," Janet murmured.

"Kelly Taylor," Andrea said, sighing. "I didn't think I'd have to say anything, you know? I thought that "girl code" was clear. But Kelly did go, and they fell in love. And now, years later, I've had the chance to do to her what she did to me."

Janet smiled, mouth flying open. "No!" she said laughing, tears forgotten. "Brandon?"

Andrea smiled and nodded. "Brandon," she confirmed. "But you know what I realized? It's supposed to be Brandon and Kelly. Jesse truly is the love of my life. Kelly Taylor, home wrecking hooch that she is, did me a favor." She looked at Janet. "Maybe now that all of your hurt, bitterness, confusion and pain are out in the open, you and Steve can finally deal with them and move on, better for it."

Janet thought about it. "I love him," she told Andrea.

"Then it's time to fix it," Andrea told her gently.


	38. Chapter 38

Donna and Brenda watched their girls play in the sandbox at the park. Smiling, Brenda rested her hand on her still flat stomach. "It's good to take a break," she told her friend.

"It sure is," Donna said, laughing. David was still at the theater, working with frazzled actors and stagehands. "But David has had three days off, so it's only right that he deal with the crazies today."

Brenda smiled. "We'll have to get back soon. Val may kill him."

Donna laughed. "Possible," she agreed. She looked at Brenda. "So how are you feeling, Bren?"

"Amazing," Brenda answered honestly. "Being back at work really helped. Donna, thank you guys so much for everything you've done for me." She grasped Donna's hand, squeezing it. "Without you guys, my dream would have disappeared."

"That's what friends do," Donna told her sincerely. "And now you're back and you can deal with all the craziness!"

Brenda laughed. "I like the craziness. It's exciting. I like the rushing around, praying that everything's together. I love the nerves and the fear and the tears. They just make it so much sweeter when, on opening night, everything is perfect." Brenda stared off into the distance, smiling dreamily.

"Wow," Donna said, and Brenda looked at her. "You really are nuts!" Laughing, both women got up and walked to the girls.

"Addison Cynthia Walsh!" Brenda cried, laughing. "Don't you dare eat that sand!" The little girl squealed as Brenda picked her up. She looked over at Donna and Ruby. "She is just like you, Don," she said. "You can tell from her face that sand and dirt are _not _her idea of a good time."

Donna smiled at her daughter. "That's okay, sweetie. Daddy will teach you."

The women walked back to Donna's car, strapping the girls in their seats. "And lunch break is over," Donna said, driving to the theater.

When they stopped, both women sat and stared at the front of the building. "It always amazing me when I think about how huge this place is," Donna told Brenda.

"I know, it's massive," Brenda agreed happily. "It's magic."

Donna and Brenda both nodded, watching people come and go from the building. "Dy!" Addy said from the backseat after a moment, struggling to get out.

"What is it, baby?" Brenda asked her. The little girl was pointing out the window. Brenda looked and gasped as she saw Dylan walking toward the front of the theater with Sammy.

"Go on, I'll grab Addy," Donna said.

Brenda nodded thanks to her friend, then opened the door. "Dylan!" she called, jogging after them.

Dylan turned around, holding Sammy's hand, and watched her. He couldn't stop the smile from moving across his face. Every time he saw her his heart leaped. And she was his. "Brenda," he said, kissing her lightly as she reached him.

Sammy was watching them. "Hi Brenda," he said, eying her and Dylan.

Brenda knelt down. "Hey Sammy," she said, smiling. Looking at the boy now, she couldn't believe she'd ever thought anyone other than Steve Sanders to be his father. "What are you guys up to?" she asked him as she looked at Dylan questioningly.

"Da- I mean Dylan, said he wanted to show me a real theater," Sammy told her, his troubled eyes quickly moving to Dylan, then back to her.

Dylan flinched, then smiled at the boy. "I took him to see a play earlier this year and he loved it. I thought I'd show him around so he could see how things work. Is that okay?"

Brenda knew that Dylan was asking about much more than permission for Sammy to look around the theater. "That sounds great," she said, smiling at Sammy.

Dylan nodded at her, his eyes serious. "Thanks Bren," he said huskily.

"Hey guys!" Donna said, walking up with a girl on each hip. Brenda stood as they approached.

Addy began reaching for Dylan, opening and closing her hands. "Dy!" she shrieked happily.

"Hey there gorgeous," Dylan said, laughing. After getting Addy he knelt down and put her on his knee. Donna waved to them and walked toward the theater. "Sammy, this is Addy. She's Brenda's daughter." Dylan looked up at Brenda, then back at Sammy. "She's going to be my daughter, too. Brenda and I are getting married," he said gently.

Sammy nodded, but then big tears leaked out of his eyes. He looked at Dylan, his face scrunching in pain. "You don't need me anymore, do you?"

Dylan hugged the little boy to his chest, still holding Addy. "Sammy," he said thickly, "I will always need you."

Addy patted Sammy's head. "Okay," she said over and over, then leaned down to give him a loud kiss.

Sammy looked up at her, wiping his eyes. He examined her for a moment. She smiled at him and he smiled back. "You're okay," he said, after a minute. Addy squealed and reached for him; Sammy let her hug him, mumbling something about cooties. Dylan looked at Brenda and laughed silently.

Brenda knelt down in front of Sammy. "Sammy, I'm not trying to take Dylan away from you," she said softly. "I love him very much and have for a long time."

"I know. He told me that when you're away from each other your hearts don't work right," the boy said. Brenda's heart jumped and she looked at Dylan. He winked at her.

"Dylan will be there if you ever need him. And so will I," she said, smiling at the boy.

Sammy nodded. "Daddy says you're better at riding than he is, so you'll be a better teacher for me."

Brenda laughed a little. "Dylan is a great rider, but I would be happy to help you learn how to ride a horse."

Sammy looked at the ground, then at Dylan. "I called you Daddy again," he said miserably.

Dylan hugged the boy again. "You can call me anything you want."

"But Steve is my dad now," Sammy said. "Did you know that Brenda? It's so weird," the boy said, shaking his head.

Brenda and Dylan chuckled. "We'll work it all out," Brenda promised him.

"Uncle David!" Sammy called out, seeing David come out of the theater. When Sammy ran for a hug, Dylan stood up.

"Sorry for ambushing you, Bren," he said, kissing her forehead.

"Me," Addy said huffily. Laughing, Dylan kissed her forehead too.

"So what happened?" Brenda asked him.

"Kelly called, said she'd finally told Sammy about…everything. She wanted me to come talk to him." Dylan watched the boy talk to his uncle. "Kelly left us alone, so he and I talked for a while. He looked so sad," Dylan said, almost to himself. "I decided that me spending time with him no matter what should start now." He shrugged. He looked into Brenda's eyes. "Thank you, Brenda. For being okay with all of this."

It was Brenda's turn to shrug. "I love you," she said simply. At Addy's huff, she laughed. "I love you, too," she told her daughter, kissing her. Looking back at Dylan, she said, "I told Sammy we'll get it all figured out and we will. Together."

Dylan nodded and they walked hand in hand to where David and Sammy were discussing music. David looked at them. "Get this kid to the orchestra pit, pronto. He's already ready to compose his first piece." He looked at his watch. "Hey, Sammy, tell your mom I'll see her soon, okay?" He tousled Sammy's hair. "See you, kiddo." He nodded to Brenda and Dylan.

"Bye Uncle David!" Sammy said. After David walked away, Sammy looked at Dylan, concerned. "Is he still my Uncle David? Did I mess up?"

"No, honey, he'll always be your Uncle David," Dylan reassured the boy.

"Good," Sammy said, sighing in relief. "Can I really see the orchestra pit?" he asked Brenda excitedly.

"Sure," Brenda told him, smiling. She looked at Dylan. "You guys go ahead; I've got some things to do in the office. If you need me, you know where to find me."

Dylan kissed her. "I'll take Addy, too. I haven't seen her all day."

After they got into the theater, Dylan and the kids walked off. Brenda watched him, her heart so full she felt like it was going to burst. Her life was walking down that hall; everything she'd ever wanted.

"Kinda tears you up, huh?" Val said from behind her, laughing when Brenda jumped.

Brenda turned and smiled at her. "I just can't believe how happy I am. I know it took getting shot, but Val, this is it. Everything is exactly how I always dreamed it would be. I never imagined it would feel this way," she murmured.

Val hugged her. "I know exactly how you feel," she assured her.

"How's Rick?" Brenda asked her as they walked toward her office.

"Rick is amazing," Val told her, wiggling her eyes.

Brenda laughed and swatted her friend. When they got to the office, Brenda motioned for her to sit down. "Let me tell you what I'm working on," she said in a hushed tone.


	39. Chapter 39

Just as Brenda had predicted, opening weekend had turned out perfectly. There had been tears and breakdowns and last minute patches and if anyone had been asked an hour before the curtain went up, they'd have said the production was going to be a disaster. Halfway through the opening act on opening night Brenda had noticed Donna staring at her in amazement. She'd just winked and laughed.

Because of the immediate success of the theater group, the current productions running time was extended. This worked out well for Brenda and her friends because things got easier as they went along. David still stormed out of rehearsal three or four times a day, but other than that, things were really going well.

Val was finally ready to head back to London and be with Rick. Brenda's heart hurt when she thought about her friend leaving again, but she knew that she'd see Val often. It helped that Rick had finally taken a job much closer to home; San Francisco was quite a drive, but it was much closer than London. Brenda was happy knowing that her children and Val's would be close.

Thinking about these things, Brenda almost dropped the five peach pies she was carrying to her car after tripping on a large rock. "Brenda!" David called from behind her. "Let me get those," he said, running up to her and taking the pies.

Laughing, Brenda gladly handed them over. "Better you than me, Silver," she said, opening her car door for him to put them in the seat.

Straightening back up, he looked at her. "Do you think this is a good idea?" he asked, squinting as the sun shone in his eyes.

"I do," she assured him. "And so does Donna," she reminded him.

Sighing, David smiled. "I've heard this before."

Brenda leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. "Don't worry, we've got this," she told him.

David gave her a quick hug and a wink and walked away. "If you say so," he said over his shoulder. "See you in an hour."

Brenda listened to the radio at an insanely loud level on the way to the Walsh house, partially because she liked it like that and partially so she wouldn't be able to think about anything else. Surely this would work out…wouldn't it?

When she pulled up at her parents she noticed Brandon working on his car. He still had his mustang, though he rarely drove it. Noticing the grease on his shirt and face Brenda sighed. "You realize we're having a cook out in about an hour, right?" she said, walking up to him.

"I've got this," he said, unintentionally repeating what she'd said earlier.

"_I've_ got this," Dylan said, rolling out from under the car. He smiled up at Brenda. "Hey Bren," he said.

"Dylan, I didn't see you," she said, then began laughing.

Dylan, laughing as well, said, "I saw you."

Brandon, as he had done so many years ago, rolled his eyes. "Ye gods," he groaned.

Dylan threw his rag at Brandon. Getting up, he moved toward Brenda. "Oh no," she said, laughing. "Don't you even think about it!" she shrieked as he came closer to her, his greasy hands reaching for her. As a last defense, Brenda called "Mom! Dylan's chasing me with grease all over him!"

Cindy stepped out of the house and wagged a spoon at Dylan. "Dylan McKay, you behave yourself!" she said, then walked back into the house.

Hands on her hips, Brenda smirked at Dylan. Brandon, watching the two with an amused expression, turned toward his car. "Unbelievable," he said, shaking his head.

Dylan held his hands up in surrender. "Do I at least get a kiss?" he asked, eyebrow cocked.

"Maybe," Brenda said, leaning closer to him. "Do you deserve one?"

Dylan put his hands behind his back. "Oh, I do," he assured her with Boy Scout sincerity.

Brenda laughed and went on her toes to kiss him. Brandon groaned. "I'm still here," he told them, making gagging noises.

"You boys need to get ready," Brenda told them. "I have to get the pies out of the car and go in and help mom."

Cindy was cutting up vegetables for a platter in the kitchen. "This is so wonderful," she said to Brenda when she walked in. "It's been so long since we've had everyone over like this." She stopped cutting and wiped her face with a napkin.

Brenda put the pies on the table. "Mom," she said, coming close to her mother. "Are you crying?"

"No, no," Cindy assured her, though her eyes were red and full of tears. "It must be allergies or something."

Brenda smiled and hugged her. "I love you," she said.

"Oh Brenda," Cindy said, hugging her back tightly. "I love you too." Pulling back, she looked at her daughters face. "I'm so happy you're home. Have I told you that?"

Brenda nodded, feeling a little teary eyed herself. "So," she said, changing the subject, "what should I be doing?" She looked out the window to check on Addy, knocking on the glass to get the little girls attention.

"Hey!" Andrea called from the doorway. Jesse and Hannah walked in behind her.

"Andrea!" Brenda and Cindy said together. Brenda hugged Andrea while Cindy hugged Hannah. Brenda hugged Jesse, then held her arms out for Hannah. "It's so good to see you, Hannah!" she said, hugging the girl. Hannah had visited her in the hospital but Brenda hadn't seen her since. She was always amazed at how much Hannah had grown; she was a teenager now! Brenda felt old just thinking about it.

Andrea and Jesse held up the food they'd brought. "Where should we put this?" she asked.

Cindy pointed toward the backyard. "We've got a couple of tables set up back there. Donna is back there with the girls, she'll show you where."

"I'm so glad they're working things out," Cindy said to Brenda when Andrea and her family went outside. "They're such a lovely family."

Brenda nodded. "I hope everything works out for everyone today," she said.

Cindy smiled at her daughter while she cut up more celery. "It will," she assured the younger woman. "You kids are meant to be together, all of you."

Brenda smiled at her mother. "I think so too," she murmured, getting some more vegetables out of the fridge.

Brandon and Dylan came into the kitchen a few minutes later, no longer greasy. Dylan moved behind Brenda and hugged her. She leaned back and titled her head to kiss him. Brandon looked at his mother and rolled his eyes and Cindy smiled. She was so glad Brenda and Dylan were finally happy together; she'd always hoped they would be eventually.

"Got the fire going, it's time for the meat!" Jim said triumphantly, coming into the kitchen.

"Need some help with that?" Dylan asked, turning around to pick up a couple plates of meat.

"The more the merrier," Jim said, taking one of the plates.

"I still can't get over that," Brandon said to Cindy and Brenda when Dylan and Jim left the kitchen discussing meat. "They _hated _each other."

"Brandon," the women said at the same time, then laughed. "Dylan never hated dad," Brenda told him. "He loves dad, and that's why dad was always able to hurt him so much."

"Jim never hated Dylan," Cindy said. "As a parent, he felt like he had to protect Brenda from herself; and that meant protecting her from Dylan. Jim always cared a great deal about Dylan; he just had a hard time showing it."

Brandon nodded. "It's still weird," he said after a moment, prompting Brenda to throw a piece of carrot at him.

"Walsh people," Steve said, coming into the kitchen. He smiled, but Brenda noticed the dark circles under his eyes. Please let today go okay for Steve, she thought to herself.

"Hey bro," Brandon said, standing to high five/hug his friend. "How's it going?"

"Great, great," Steve said, then chuckled nervously. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Steve, why don't you peel some potatoes?" Cindy said, pointing toward the sink.

Sighing with relief, Steve said, "Will do, Mrs. W."

Cindy gave Brandon a pointed look and he shrugged.

"Hi guys!" Kelly said from the doorway. Sammy stood in front of her, looking scared.

"Hi Kelly, hi Sammy," Cindy said warmly.

Steve turned to look at Kelly, shocked. "Kel," he said, awkwardly. Clearing his throat he looked at his son. "Sammy."

"Hey, Steve," Kelly said nervously.

"Hi," Sammy said, studying Steve. "Can I talk to you?" he asked the man, sounding much older than his four years.

"Sure," Steve said, looking at Kelly to make sure it was fine. Kelly smiled and shrugged. "Let's go outside."

As they walked out, Steve sent Brandon a panicked look. "What's that about?" Brandon asked Kelly.

"I have no idea," she said, coming to the counter. "I told him that Steve was going to be here but he didn't mention wanting to talk to him."

"Well, I think it's great," Cindy said, stirring the vegetable dip.

"I hope so," Kelly said, looking at the door they walked out of.

"So, Kel, how are things going now that Sammy knows the truth?" Brandon asked as she sat on the stool beside him.

"He seems to be taking it okay. Dylan spending time with him has really helped out."

Brenda nodded. "It's helped Dylan too."

"What's helped me?" Dylan asked, coming in and kissing Brenda on the forehead. "Kelly," he said with a nod. Though they'd talked to each other about Sammy, neither was comfortable with the other. Dylan was trying because Brenda wanted him to, and she assured him that it would just take time. Dylan wasn't so certain but he would do anything for Brenda.

"Spending time with Sammy," Brenda told him.

Dylan nodded. "I love that kid," he said simply. "Hey Cindy, Jim wants to know if it you have the potatoes ready to go on?"

Cindy wiped her hands on her apron and grabbed a large bowl of potatoes. "Here you go!" she told him.

"Thank you, milady," he said, bowing and smiling.

Brandon was watching Kelly. "How are things going at the school?"

"It was hard going back at first," Kelly told him. "Things are getting better. Silver stops by to check on me several times a day. What a role reversal," she said, laughing.

"I wish she could have come today," Cindy told Kelly.

"I do too," Kelly said. Though everyone was trying their best to include her, Kelly couldn't help but feel like the odd man out. Silver would have given her strength.

Brandon put his hand on Kelly's, sensing her disquiet. "It's going to be okay, Kel," he said. Her stomach flipped over at his touch and suddenly things didn't seem so bad.

Brenda and Cindy looked at each other knowingly. "We're here!" a voice said from the doorway.

"Val!" Brenda cried happily, rushing to hug her and Rick.

"Come on, Rick, I'll show you where to put that food," Cindy told him as she carried a veggie tray toward the backyard. "Jim has been dying to talk to you about a financial report he saw on TV earlier."

Valerie saw Brenda raise her eyebrows. "I don't know how I fell in love with a nerd, but it works for us," she said, smiling.

"Val," Brandon said, standing to hug his old friend.

"Brandon," Val said happily, hugging him back. Eyeing Kelly she said, "Kelly," with a nod, much as Dylan had.

"Hey Val, come look at the cribs Mom and Dad are trying to hide from us," Brenda said, holding out her hand. Like the two little girls they used to be, they snuck up the stairs giggling.

"We are never going to be friends," Kelly mused. "But I appreciate what she means to you guys now. I never used to."

"Everyone can't get along," Brandon agreed. "It means something that you're both trying."

Kelly looked at Brandon, smiling. "I'm trying because you guys mean something."

"Really," Brandon said lowly, watching her mouth. Before he thought about what he was doing, he leaned down to kiss her softly.

Kelly gasped. For the past ten years, she'd buried the pain of losing Brandon under other relationships. Kissing him, she realized that she'd been fooling herself. This is what she'd been missing. Moving closer, she deepened the kiss, putting her arms around his neck.

Brandon broke off the kiss and looked into her eyes, expression serious. "I love you, Kelly," he said.

Tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes, Kelly smiled. "Oh Brandon, I've always loved you."

From the doorway, Cindy sighed happily. "Mom?" Brandon said.

"Oh, don't mind me," she said, wiping her face with the napkin again. "It's just my allergies."


	40. Chapter 40

Brenda walked out of the kitchen laughing as her mother tried to show Rick how to cut an onion without crying. He was failing. Brenda stood for a moment and watched Dylan and Jim. To see them laughing and working together warmed her heart more than she'd thought possible. "Amazing, isn't it?" Kelly said from behind her.

Brenda turned to look at her friend, then looked back at the men. "I can't believe it," she said quietly. "It's like someone took every dream I'd ever had and made them a reality."

Kelly sat down on the picnic bench and watched Jim and Dylan. "Your family moving here changed so much." She looked down at her hands, then up at Brenda. "I remember about a month after we met I was here," she motioned toward the house, "and you were complaining that you didn't have anything to wear. Brandon came in and you two joked with each other, then Cindy came in and kissed you and told you how beautiful you were." She cleared her throat. "I remember thinking "if I could have this, I'd trade all of the new clothes in my closet." I decided then that I was going to do whatever it took to be more like Brenda Walsh."

Brenda looked at her. "And how did that work out for you, Kelly?"

Kelly smiled self depreciatingly. "Not so well."

Brenda sighed, looking at her friend. "Kelly, you didn't want Dylan as he is. You wanted the Dylan he was when he was with me."

Kelly nodded, taking a deep breath. "Now I can see that. Then, all I could see was how happy you two made each other. I wanted to be happy, too."

Brenda sat down on the bench beside Kelly, smiling and waving at Addy. Donna winked at her, then looked over at Jim and Dylan. Brenda smiled and nodded. "He still makes me happy," she told Kelly, looking over to find Dylan watching her. His gaze moved to her mouth and her pulse leapt. "Among other things," she murmured.

"And now I am able to be happy for you," Kelly said.

"Really?" Brenda asked, looking at her.

"Really," Kelly said. "Brenda, I know I've said it before and I know you probably won't believe me, but I am so sorry about everything."

Brenda stared into Kelly's eyes for a moment, then smiled. "Maybe it took all of that to get us all here," she said with a shrug. "I can't be too upset about living the dream, you know?"

"I still love Brandon," Kelly blurted out, then put her hand over her mouth.

"I know," Brenda told her. "And he still loves you." With that, Brenda squeezed Kelly's hand, then stood to meet Dylan halfway across the yard. He pulled her close for a hug, holding her as tightly as he dared. Addy squealed and ran to them, holding her arms up for one of them to get her. Laughing, Brenda picked her up. Looking into Dylan's eyes, she kissed him on the cheek and walked back to where Donna, Val, Andrea and the girls were playing.

Dylan watched her go, hands in his pockets. He turned to look at Kelly, then walked over to her and sat down.

"Dylan," Kelly started, but was cut off when Dylan raised his hand.

"You have tried to destroy everything good in my life for almost as long as I've known you," he said quietly.

Kelly nodded, looking down. "I have."

"I will never understand why you've done the things you've done." He looked over at Brenda and Addy. "But somehow, everything you've done in the past lead me to this spot." Kelly looked at him. "This is my life now," he said, smiling and looking at her. "And if it weren't for the awful things you've done, I may not have ever gotten to this point."

Kelly choked out a laugh. "Do I get a medal?" she asked.

Dylan shrugged. "All I'm trying to say is that I think we're all finally to the point that we can move on." He looked at her.

"You can forgive me?" she asked, eyes welling with tears. "For everything?"

He looked at Brenda again. "I am the happiest I've ever been in my life." He looked at Kelly and smiled. "I guess I'm in a forgiving mood."

Steve and Sammy walked into the backyard. Sammy ran up to Dylan. "Dylan! Steve is going to take me to a baseball game next weekend! Do you want to go?"

Dylan looked at Steve, who shrugged. "Sure," he said, smiling slowly. "If Brenda will let me."

Sammy jumped up and down excitedly. "Go ask, go ask!" He looked at Kelly. "Mama, I can go, right? Please?"

Kelly laughed at her little boy and nodded. "Sure." She looked at Steve. "Everything's okay?"

Steve winked at her. "We're working on it."

Brandon walked out into the yard. "We're working on what?" he said, putting his arm around Steve's shoulders.

"They're going to a ball game next weekend," Kelly told him, shading her eyes from the sun. "I imagine they'll be gone all day."

Brandon smiled. "Well, now, that's interesting," he said.

Steve looked from Kelly to Brandon, then at Dylan. He rolled his eyes. "Finally," he muttered. Dylan smiled.

"Hey, Steve, there's someone here to see you," Rick said from the doorway.

"That's odd," Steve told his friends, walking into the house.

He stopped in the kitchen and found Cindy crying. She waved him off. "It's the onions," she said. Steve noticed she was cutting tomatoes, but didn't mention it.

Walking into the Walsh living room he was hit in the stomach by a flying bullet. "Daddy!" Maddie said, hugging him.

"Maddie," he whispered, hugging his daughter. He looked up to see Janet standing in front of the couch, hands clasped in front of her. "Janet?"

"Maddie, honey, why don't you go play with Sammy and the others?" Maddie raced off happily and she looked at Steve. "Hello, Steve."

"Janet, what's going on? Why are you here?"

"Brenda invited me. She's lovely, isn't she? I think she and I will be good friends. Andrea, too." Janet walked toward Steve. "I went to the clinic," she told him when she was standing in front of him.

Steve's knees buckled and he leaned against the wall for support. "No, Janet," he whispered.

"No," she agreed. "I couldn't do it."

Steve straightened, heart pounding. "You didn't?"

Janet shook her head. "I love you," she said, reaching for him.

Steve moved so fast she gasped. He lifted her up so that her feet didn't touch the floor, holding her so tight she couldn't breathe. His lips found hers and she tasted his tears. After the kiss, he put her down gently, but didn't let her go. "Janet," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

She closed her eyes, her arms around him. "I'm sorry too, Steve."

He pulled back to look into her eyes. "Can I come back home?" She nodded, tears falling down her face. He hugged her again. "I love those Walsh people," he said silently to himself.

"Hey, where is everyone?" David asked from the front door.

"They're out back," Steve told him.

"Okay," David said, then noticed Janet. "Oh, hey, Janet."

Janet smiled, wiping tears off of her face. "Hey David."

David looked at Steve, who had tears on his face as well. "Onions," Steve told his friend.

David shrugged and walked through the house. "Hey Mrs. W," he said, coming into the kitchen. "What's going on?"

"Onions," she said, pointing to her red eyes.

"Okaaaay," David said, walking out to the back. He stopped walking when he saw Donna. She was drawing something in the dirt for the kids and laughing. He watched her, his heart beating the same way it always had when he looked at Donna; too fast and too hard.

"Hey, David," Kelly said, walking up to him. "Are you just now getting here?"

"Yeah," he said, pulling his eyes away from Donna to look at her. "I saw Steve and Janet in the living room. Hugging," he added with a smile.

Kelly gasped. "That's great!" she said, meaning it. She prayed Janet would some day forgive her for all she'd done. She wouldn't blame her if she didn't. Kelly noticed David staring at Donna again and smiled. "David?" she said.

"Yeah," he said again, looking at her.

"I'm so happy for you guys," she said.

David smiled and nodded. "I am too," he told her. He started walking toward Donna but stopped and looked at Kelly for a moment. "You'll be happy Kelly. I promise."

Kelly looked over at Brandon. "I know I will," she said.

David followed her gaze to Brandon, then smiled at her. He began walking, then stopped again. "Hey, Kel?" he said lowly.

"What?"

"Don't eat anything that has onions in it today," he told her. At her quizzical look he added, "Trust me."


	41. Chapter 41

Brandon found Brenda sitting outside, staring at the fire. "Well, this worked out," he said to her, sitting down.

She smiled. "It really did, didn't it?"

They sat for a moment, watching their friends. All of the children, with the exception of Hannah who'd been picked up by a friend, were sleeping inside the house. Maddie had tried to stay awake, but she'd given in a few minutes ago. "Kassie and Addy fell asleep holding hands," Brandon told her.

"I love that," Brenda said. She put her arm around her twin. "You and me, Brandon. Living the dream. I can't believe how much has changed since we were little kids, freezing in Minnesota." Brenda thought about her time at college in Minnesota and shuddered. Thank goodness she'd come back.

"Minnesota wasn't that bad, Bren," he said. She stared at him, cocking her eyebrow. "Okay, okay. It wasn't that good either." Brandon thought about how different Beverly Hills had seemed in the beginning. He'd wandered around, not knowing anyone, not fitting in. Now it just felt like home.

She laughed and put her arm down. Her gaze found Dylan playing cards with Jim. Brandon looked over at them. "You guys are happy, huh?"

"I never thought I could be this happy, Brandon," she said seriously, looking at him. "It's scary. This feels so perfect, I'm afraid something is going to happen to mess it up."

Brandon put his hand on hers. "Sometimes things work out. Look at Mom and Dad. They've been together for over thirty years and they're still in love. They've had problems, but there they are," he nodded, and Brenda saw her mother kiss Jim on the cheek before sitting beside Val.

"Do you think we can all stay like this Brandon? Happy and together?"

Brandon thought about it for a moment. He looked at every person sitting in the backyard, remembering when they'd met. It seemed like so long ago he'd hopped into Steve's 'Vette at that party. Andrea had started pushing him to be a better person from the beginning. David Silver used to be a geek. Dylan McKay had showed the world he didn't care about anything, but Brandon had known different, from the beginning. Donna and Kelly had come so far from who they'd been. Kelly…Brandon smiled at her. After all of this time, he and Kelly were going to make it work. He thought Kate would approve. He looked at his sister and thought again of how important she'd always been to him. "We've stayed together this long. Sure, a lot of it has been hard. But these people?" he motioned toward all of their friends. "They became part of our lives the very first month we were here. And here they all sit, still." He looked at Brenda, serious. "I think we got extremely lucky, Bren. And I really do think everything is going to work out."

"Well, I think that it was us who got lucky," Andrea said, walking up to the twins. "None of this would have happened if it weren't for you two." She sat down beside Brandon and he put his arm around her shoulder. "We were all going in different directions and were so lost. None of us were comfortable with who we were, but we'd all decided that we were going to keep doing what we'd been doing because that was all we knew." Andrea thought about how hard she'd worked in school, trying to make up for the fact that she didn't have a friend in the world. Looking at Brandon and Brenda, she again realized how grateful she was to be a part of their lives. Brenda's sleepover was the first one she'd ever been to. They were truly the first real friends she'd ever had.

"I hated me," Kelly said, joining them. "I had an awful reputation and couldn't get away from it. So I played into it." She shrugged. "Brenda showed me, for the first time, that life didn't have to be like that. I didn't realize I could be happy; it was never even an option for me. And then it was," she said, smiling at Brenda. Kelly remembered how terrible things had been when her mother was on drugs and she'd had to be the parent. She'd laughed, but it was never real. Being in the Walsh house, she'd discovered what a real family was and decided to change her life so that she could one day give that to her children. And she'd found Brandon. Looking at him now, Kelly felt a twinge in her heart. They were going to work it out; this time there would be no backing down.

Val and Donna had heard them talking and came to sit with them. "I was afraid of everything," Donna said, laughing. "I had no drama, which was a good thing. I had no life, either, which was a bad thing." She smiled at David, who came over and kissed her. "I would have never had the courage to date David if you guys hadn't shown up." She thought about the pain of finding out her parents weren't the people she'd thought they were, and how her friends had been there for her. "You guys were really there for me."

"I got into some bad situations," David said. "If it weren't for you guys, I don't know if I would have ever found my way out of them." He brought Donnas' hand up to his lips and kissed it. She'd always stood by him, no matter how stupid he'd been. And Steve had believed in him when no one else did.

Val sighed. "And if your parents hadn't taken me in, I'm sure I'd be sitting in a jail cell somewhere. My life was a black, dark, depressing place." Val shuddered when she thought about how depressed and upset she'd always been. When she'd first moved to Beverly Hills, she'd hated it. She'd gone out of her way to make everyone else as miserable as she was. Now, she could see that it had changed her in more ways than one…and all for the better.

"Hey, are we having a mini get together over here or what?" Steve asked, sitting down and pulling Janet into his lap.

"We're talking about how much better all of our lives are because the Walsh's moved here," Kelly told them, watching Janet. Janet nodded to her and Kelly smiled.

"You Walsh people," Steve said, looking into Janet's eyes, "changed everything for me. You've always been there for me, even when I didn't deserve it." Steve chuckled when he thought about some of the situations he'd gotten himself into. If it hadn't been for Brandon, he knew that several times he would have been in serious trouble. And when he'd left Beverly Hills to search for his real mother, these people were there for him. They were always there for him. He'd come to need that closeness, and now he could have it. They were all back.

"And poor Rick!" Brandon said, smiling at the man as he walked up. "He would have never met Val if Bren hadn't introduced them."

Rick winked at him, then kissed Val, sitting beside her. "This happiness," Val said, looking into Rick's eyes, "is something I never expected." Rick kissed her again, holding her hand.

"And Steve would have never met Janet if you guys hadn't moved here," Kelly said.

Janet laughed. "I don't know if they should be thanked for that or not," she said. At Steve's mock hurt expression, she kissed him.

"And I would have never met Jesse if you guys hadn't moved here," Andrea said, laughing. She waved at Jesse, who was going into the house to check on the kids.

"And Kelly would have never met Brandon," Brenda said. Brandon winked at Kelly. Kelly thought about how her self perception had changed, and about how much of it was Brandon's influence. Brandon, as if reading her thoughts, nodded at her.

"And Dylan would have never met Brenda," Dylan said, walking over to them. He picked Brenda up and swung her around, kissing her. "And the world would have been a cold and lonely place," he said, looking into her eyes.

"I love you, Dylan," she said, smiling at him. Dylan McKay, the only man she'd ever been in love with, was looking at her with his heart in his eyes. From the bottom of her soul, she knew that things were going to work out this time. No matter where she was, Dylan had always been there for her. He had said in the past that his feeling for her were the most intense he'd ever felt for anyone. She knew how he felt because she felt the same way. Some people were made for each other; Brenda knew that she and Dylan were two of them.

"I love you, too, Bren," he said, holding her close. From the moment he'd met her, Dylan's life had been changed. From the first time they'd talked, Dylan hadn't been able to stop thinking about Brenda Walsh. They'd spent years together and years apart. Now they were going to have a life together, a family. Dylan had never imagined feeling like this; he was always so certain that things were going to fall through. Holding Brenda and looking at his friends, Dylan was finally truly happy. He was marrying his best friend- the only woman he'd ever loved. And it felt good. "You guys changed everything," he said to Brandon and Brenda, looking at Jim and Cindy to include them. "You saved me, time and time again." He looked at the rest of his friends, sitting together and happy after twenty years. "You saved us all."

Cindy looked over at Jim, tears falling down her face. "Oh, Jim. We made the right choice, moving here." She thought about how hard life had been at times for her children here. So many times she'd wished they'd just stayed in Minnesota.

Jim, tearing up himself, nodded. He thought about the arguments with Brenda and Brandon, with Dylan. He thought about the accidents and late night phone calls. But he mostly thought about the kids, all together, having a good time and being there for each other. He looked at the adults sitting in his backyard and saw them again as the teenagers they'd once been. He put his arm around Cindy. "Best decision we ever made," he told her.


	42. Chapter 42

He looked out over the ocean, his heart beating with the waves crashing onto the beach. A cool breeze caressed his face like a tender lover. The sunset was a riotous pink over the water and seagulls flew out toward it. With his bare feet buried in warm sand, Dylan smiled. He looked over to his left and found Brandon watching him.

"It was hard for you, in the beginning." It wasn't a question.

Brandon nodded, thinking about how upset he'd been when he'd realized Brenda and Dylan were dating. "I was afraid you were going to hurt her," he told his friend honestly.

Dylan squinted, lowering his head. "And I did."

Brandon put his hand on Dylan's shoulder and smiled. He thought about the teenager Dylan had been; living alone, no rules, no real parents. Dylan had been the coolest guy at West Beverly High School…and the most lost. "From the moment I saw you smiling at her after you wheeled out from under Mondale, I've known that this day was going to happen," Brandon told him.

Dylan nodded, watching his friend. He thought about all of the things they'd been through; Brandon and Brenda had been the constants in his life since he'd met them. He smiled, thinking about their very first encounter. Though Brandon had never taken to surfing, he'd taken to Dylan. Even though Dylan had gone through both alcohol and drug addiction, hurt his sister, gotten in the way of Brandon's relationship with Kelly and almost shot him, Brandon had always been there for him. And now he was Dylan's best man. "You've stood by me through it all, Brandon. From the moment I met you, I knew you were going to be important to me." Dylan's eyes found Cindy, who was already tearing up. "You took a lost boy in, introduced him to your family," he looked back to Brandon, "and into your life. Anything good that's happened to me is because of that."

Brandon cleared his throat and nodded, pulling Dylan in for a hug. "I love you, man," he said.

Dylan nodded, hugging his brother. David walked to the end of the aisle and shot Dylan a questioning look. Dylan winked at him and David smiled, moving to the piano. He began the playing and Dylan and Brandon pulled apart, Brandon wiping his eyes and straightening his shoulders.

Kelly and Sammy were the first to walk out, holding hands. Sammy also held the rings, a job he was very proud to have. Dylan smiled at him and then looked at Kelly. In a beautiful blue dress, a green ribbon on her wrist, she was stunning. Color had returned to her cheeks and Kelly had remembered who she really was. Her smile was kind, no longer bitter. She had forgiven him, and Dylan knew it hadn't been easy. He had forgiven her as well, and felt as if a weight had lifted off of his shoulders. Much of their time together they'd been unhappy…but there had been good times as well. Dylan was able to remember the good times now and smile. He knew that Kelly felt the same.

When the couple reached Dylan, he leaned down and hugged Sammy. Sammy kissed him on the cheek, then moved to stand in front of Brandon, who put his hands on Sammy's shoulders. Sammy looked up at the man and smiled. Sammy was going to be fine, Dylan knew. He was well on his way to having three "dads."

Kelly looked into Dylan's eyes and smiled. Dylan smiled back, then hugged her. No matter what was in their past, friendship was in their future. Dylan was grateful for that. Kelly moved to stand beside Brandon, taking his hand as she got close to him. Dylan knew how they had struggled to find peace with each other and move on together, and he was happy they finally had. Looking at them, he was struck by the realization of how perfect they were for each other.

Val and Rick were walking slowly down the aisle, holding hands. Because Valerie was Brenda's maid of honor, her dress was a softer blue than Kelly's; the material stretched over her very pregnant belly. She, too, had a green ribbon around her wrist. Dylan smiled warmly at her, amazed that the brash, hot-headed woman he'd met so long ago had turned into such a happy, elegant woman. He and Val had both been so troubled when they'd met, fighting their demons as well as each other. He had needed someone to challenge him, and Valerie had done that and more; she'd become his champion.

Watching Rick, Dylan took note of how handsome the man remained. For a long time, Dylan had hated the idea of Rick. When he'd thought Rick had taken his place in London, Dylan had nightmares of the man living his life. Though they were wildly different, Dylan now considered Rick one of his best friends. Brenda said that Rick had a soothing presence on Valerie, and Dylan found the same to be true for him.

Dylan shook Rick's hand when they reached him, then pulled Valerie close for a hug. Kissing her forehead, he looked into her eyes. "We're the lucky ones," she whispered to him, smiling. Dylan nodded, close to tears. Their lives had been full of pain and fear. Such happiness finding them both truly was lucky. She moved to his right, standing in front of Rick.

David rose from his seat at the piano, letting another man take over. It had been important to him that Brenda and Dylan let him play in their wedding, even if only for a moment. Touched, Brenda had cried when David asked if he could.

David smiled as he met Donna, Ruby and Kassie at the beginning of the aisle. He took Donna's hand and they walked slowly behind the little girls, who were scattering rose petals as they wobbled along.

Laughing, David looked up at Dylan. The two locked eyes for a moment, acknowledging their history. While they had not always gotten along, David was an important part of Dylan's life. When David had become part of the gang, Dylan had found him overly enthusiastic and at times annoying. It hadn't been long until life had caused David to lose his smile and grow up too fast. Dylan knew that the smile would have never come back had it not been for Donna.

Dylan looked at Donna and found her laughing quietly at the girls. She looked beautiful in her blue dress and green ribbon and Dylan smiled when he thought about some of Donna's less fortunate clothing choices; luckily, she'd finally discovered clothes that allowed her to move, dance, and even sit. Donna's smile was a constant that Dylan was happy to have around. He knew that she'd been through as much as the rest of the gang, but her smile never slipped. Dylan was glad she and David were still together and happy; Donna Martin had known what she was doing when she rebelled and began a relationship with David Silver.

He had asked her once how she'd found the strength to do what she felt like she had to. "The heart wants what the heart wants," she'd quoted with a shrug. Dylan knew that today he was finally getting what his heart wanted.

When she reached the end of the aisle, Kassie ran to Brandon, giggling. "Dylan," David said, hugging his friend as he reached him. Pulling back, David looked into Dylan's eyes and nodded. Dylan, smiling, nodded back. David picked Ruby up and went to stand by Kelly and Brandon.

"Oh, Dylan," Donna said, hugging him. "Brenda and I have been planning this day for years," she whispered, choking up.

"I have too," he said in her ear, hugging her back.

"At least in your plans we can all be barefoot!" she laughed softly, moving to stand with David and Ruby. Dylan watched her wipe an errant tear from her cheek. David kissed her forehead and whispered something, causing her to laugh again.

Dylan turned to see Maddie walking up the aisle with her parents. She looked lovely. Dylan smiled at his Goddaughter, proud to be a part of her life. Steve was smiling the same smile he'd had for as long as Dylan had known him and Dylan shook his head, laughing. Some things never change. Steve Sanders was an annoying, know-it-all, loose cannon. Dylan still couldn't believe he'd grown to love the crazy bastard. All of their lives they'd butted heads, arguing over the most trivial matters possible. Dylan realized now that most of the contention had been his fault. Steve was a genuine person and loved the Walsh's as much as he did. Well…almost as much.

The second pregnant woman in the wedding party, Janet radiated peace. Her dress and Val's were the same all but for the color, and she too wore a green ribbon on her wrist. Dylan and Janet were much closer now than they had ever been. They'd been destroyed when the truth about Sammy had come out, but now both were stronger for it. She hugged him when she reached him, winking at him as she pulled back. He smiled at her.

Steve grabbed Dylan in a bear hug. "It's about time," he said, smiling. "I've been waiting for this for a long time, McKay."

Laughing, Dylan pulled away. "Me too, Steve. Me too."

The Sanders joined Valerie and Rick, Steve pressing a quick kiss to Valerie's forehead. Dylan felt a surge of love for his friends, warming him. He looked into the audience and found Iris and Erica crying. Behind them sat Jack, who smiled at Dylan. Dylan had never felt so content.

Andrea and Jesse were making their way toward him, Andrea's eyes sparkling with happiness. Though Dylan had disliked Jesse in the beginning, he'd come to respect the other man. After seeing how happy Jesse made Andrea, Dylan's respect grew into an actual friendship. Andrea and Brenda had become very close again, spending a lot of time together.

Dylan found and smiled at Hannah, who sat in the audience. Brenda had understood that Hannah hadn't wanted to be a part of the wedding party; the girl's cancer had come back and she'd undergone more chemo and radiation treatments, losing her hair. Though she wore a beautiful wig, she was still self conscious about her appearance. Brenda had Donna make the girl a blue dress like the rest of the wedding party, and the green ribbons all of the women wore on their wrists stood for leukemia awareness. Andrea had cried when Brenda had told her about it, hugging the bride to be.

With the support of the gang, Andrea and Jesse had remained strong while their daughter fought the cancer. They'd received the news yesterday that it was again in remission. Though there was always the chance of it coming back, Hannah's doctor had told Andrea that he felt like it would not. Dylan had almost fallen down, so strong was the relief he'd felt when he heard the news. He couldn't imagine how Andrea and Jesse felt.

Dylan shook Jesse's hand when the couple reached him, then turned toward Andrea. "Everything's going to be okay," Andrea told him confidently, and Dylan believed her.

Hugging her, Dylan said, "Have you always been this smart?"

Andrea chuckled lowly. "Of course I have," she said with a wink, then joined Jesse beside David and Donna. Jesse put his arm around her, smiling at his daughter.

Dylan took a deep breath. It was time. He closed his eyes and felt the warmth of the sun on his face. He again listened to the waves and tried to calm the frantic beating of his heart. He suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe.

He opened his eyes as everyone stood. Jim Walsh stood at the end of the aisle between Addy and the most beautiful sight Dylan had ever seen. His breath left him in a sigh and, looking into her eyes, Dylan was calm. She smiled at him, her heart in her eyes, and Dylan found himself smiling back.

As they walked closer, Dylan couldn't take his eyes off of her. Brenda had her dark hair swept up, long tendrils curled around her face. Her skin glowed with a light tan, a testament to their time in Baja. In contrast, her white satin dress fell off of her shoulders, the sleeves wisps of soft fabric that flowed to her wrists. The empire waist wedding gown hugged her breasts, and a green sash was tied immediately below them. From the sash down, the gown flowed over her pregnant belly to the sand. Her small bouquet of lilies was wrapped in a matching green ribbon.

Dylan's heart began a slow, rhythmic thud and his hands longed to reach out and touch her. He found himself thinking that she couldn't possibly be real; she was much too perfect.

They reached the end of the aisle and Dylan looked at Jim. Jim stepped forward, holding Brenda's hand. "Cindy and I are giving you our daughter, Dylan," the man said, placing Brenda's hand in Dylan's. "We have watched you grow into a strong, loving man." Jim looked back at Cindy, who nodded through her tears. "A man that is worthy of our daughter's love." Jim leaned close to Dylan, hugging him. "You always were."

Dylan's throat closed with emotion, a tear escaping from the corner of his eye. Jim Walsh was one of the greatest men Dylan had ever known. He had dreamed of the day Jim would look at him like a son.

"Me!" Addy said from below the men. Dylan laughed a little and picked her up, kissing her on the check.

"What do you say, Addy?" he asked the little girl, watching Brenda. "Is it time for me to marry your mama?"

"Yes," Addy said happily.

"Yes," Brenda agreed, smiling at him. Jim joined Cindy in the audience and Rick stepped forward to take Addy. Holding each others hands, Dylan and Brenda turned toward the preacher.

When it came time for the vows the preacher looked at them. "I understand that you've written your own vows?"

"We have," they said together, looking at each other.

Dylan turned towards Brenda, his eyes looking into hers. He held both of her hands. "I met you when I was only 15 years old. I was young and wild and had never cared about anything in my life. When you walked up to my locker, I felt like I'd been hit with something. I couldn't take my eyes off of you, and when I walked away, I was smiling. I was really smiling, Bren, something I hadn't done since I was a little kid." He looked down, then squeezed her hands and looked back up at her. "I had never known love," he said softly, looking into her eyes. "Not real love. But I knew, even then, that was what we had." He shook his head. "I've ran from it. I've tried to deny it. I've prayed for it to go away because it scared me." He looked into her eyes, praying that she saw the truth in his. "You are my love, my life, and my world. You are the warmth that keeps the cold at bay. Your love shines through the darkness and sees the real me. I will never run again. I will never deny it again. I will spend the rest of my life loving you and making you happy, Brenda." He leaned down and got her ring from Sammy. He held up her hand and slid the ring onto her finger. "With this ring, I make that promise." He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.

Brenda stared into his eyes for a moment. "I remember that day too." She looked down and blushed. "That night, when I was praying, I said a special little prayer that you would be mine." She looked up at him, embarrassed. "It seems so silly now, doesn't it?" she asked him. He shook his head and brought his hand to her face, caressing her cheek with his thumb. "I knew that I loved you, even then. And it scared me too, Dylan. I doubted it, I ran from it, I prayed that it would go away. But it wouldn't. Your arms are the only place I've ever felt safe. The only place I've ever lost myself is in your eyes. Your heart is the only one that my heart has ever recognized." She raised her hand to touch his face. "You are my dream. You have been since I was that silly 15 year old girl." She reached down and got his ring from Sammy, sliding it on his finger. "With this ring, I promise that I will love you with all of my heart for the rest of my life. And when this life is over, and all is said and done, eternity will find us together, still."

The preacher said, "I now pronounce you man and wife; you may kiss the bride," but the couple didn't hear him. Looking into each others eyes, Dylan and Brenda McKay slowly smiled. They had finally gotten what they wanted on a sandy beach in Baja, with the waves lapping against the beach and the sun casting a warm glow. What they had started when they were fifteen, standing at Dylan's locker in the hallway, was finally happening. "I love you Bren," Dylan whispered.

"I love you, Dylan," she whispered back. He slowly leaned closer, never taking his eyes off of hers, until their lips touched. The crowd behind them jumped up and began cheering and they both smiled, lips still touching. Pulling away to look into her eyes, Dylan leaned his forehead on hers and they both laughed.


End file.
